[kendra k]

thanksgiving is a new world holiday celebrated in america on the fourth thursday of november. the pilgrims, kicked out of england because they didn't kow tow to your theocracy, sailed for america. there they struggled througha harsh winter, but with the help of the natives (before they died off from smallpox) helped them. they were so thankfull they had a feast to celebrate.

it's traditionally a time to eat a big meal and contemplate how good you have it and thank everybody/thing for making your life ok. as far as holidays go, i'm quite fond of it.

this year is going to suck though. i need help! i haven't gone home the past three years. i was invited the first two times because my ex-sister in law wanted to cook and wouldn't let me help out nor accomodate my veganness. last year i stayed home because my brother had just seperated from my ex-s.i.l. and my mom's family was fighting. i stayed home and had a nice meal with my boyfriend and other friends.

this year they demand i come home. well... first they asked if they could come to my place, and i sent them formal invitations. (handmade and everything!) then my brother started dating this new girl and they'd rather me and my boyfriend go there (1.5 hour drive) to see them. i offered to come up on the weekend instead, but the new gf has to work and my parents are going to a wine tasting. boo.

this is all getting weird because i'm not going to be home for christmas or new year's. my dad told me last night that he's hurt that i don't care about the family, even though he's said i should go to to ny bf's family some year. argh!

so now i'm not talking to my dad or brother, and my mom is staying out of it.

am i being unreasonable? is this part of growing up? should i cave in to my dad's demands?

AND WHAT IS THERE TO DO IN NORTHERN ENGLAND FOR NEW YEARS?

[Yudster]

Stay home. Cook, eat, enjoy. Avoid wine tasting and other associated unpleasantness. Give thanks for the freedom to express yourself in a manner which you are fulfilled by - and give thanks for the freedom to avoid those people and places who cause you harm by making unreasonable demands on you.

Your parents will forgive you. Your brother has other things to occupy his mind and time. Your dad is behaving like a spoiled child (parents have a tendancy to do that). Giving in to spoiled children just makes them worse (see, I watch Supernanny!). Have a lovely holiday season.

Most people in the North of England just get drunk at New Years as far as I can tell........

[Walter Sobchak]

Your dad is behaving like a spoiled child (parents have a tendancy to do that).

Yudster is sooo right.....
I'll offer my advice as a dad, who has been known to behave in a similar fashion....

Unfortunately God doesn't supply a manual for parenting, so you never stop learning it.

this year is going to suck though. i need help! i haven't gone home the past three years. i was invited the first two times because my ex-sister in law wanted to cook and wouldn't let me help out nor accomodate my veganness. last year i stayed home because my brother had just seperated from my ex-s.i.l. and my mom's family was fighting. i stayed home and had a nice meal with my boyfriend and other friends.

As a dad, I felt a shudder down my back when i read three years, My eldest daughter lives in cheddar (about 35 miles away), my next daughter lives just down the road, and my youngest lives at home, as does my 16 year old step son. And sometimes I really miss the family group, yeh, there would be arguments, but my family... together. still special.
The thought of not seeing any one of them for 3 years is very scary, and I'm sure your Dad, Mum and probably even Brother feel that too.
As for your xsil not allowing you to help out, (I'm correct in understanding that that is part of thanksgiving, isn't it?), and even worse, not accomadating your veganness, I think she is definately in the wrong, on both counts!

this year they demand i come home. well... first they asked if they could come to my place, and i sent them formal invitations. (handmade and everything!) then my brother started dating this new girl and they'd rather me and my boyfriend go there (1.5 hour drive) to see them. i offered to come up on the weekend instead, but the new gf has to work and my parents are going to a wine tasting. boo.

Hmmm, seems a little unfair, after they were coming to you in the first place, handmade formal invitations would mean a lot to me, I'll have to hint at my daughters .

this is all getting weird because i'm not going to be home for christmas or new year's. my dad told me last night that he's hurt that i don't care about the family, even though he's said i should go to to ny bf's family some year. argh!

Your dad hasn't stopped to think about what he said and how you feel, it's a reaction to a situation and no doubt with input from your mum and your brother.
Write him a letter explaining how you feel and think, write a seperate one to your Mum too, He's obviously feeling upset that your not going to be there, when he obviously wants you there, I can understand both points of view here.

so now i'm not talking to my dad or brother, and my mom is staying out of it

.
WRITE! If you write a letter than you can get your side across without interruption, and it will mean so much to them too, trust me on this!
And don't allow this to fester, You don't know whats around the corner, My Dad had a stroke some time ago, I hadn't seen him for about a year before, than I went up to the Hospital, to see My Dad with half his face dropped, and was virtually unable to talk, and he was crying, which I had never seen before. Write first, then phone, even if only to make sure they got the letter.

am i being unreasonable?

Maybe a little, maybe not at all, You'll have to decide.

is this part of growing up?

My Gran once told me "The university of life never closes" and I'll add 'and you never get your grades till the very end'. Yes it is part of growing up, but you never stop learning! [quote= "kendra k"]should i cave in to my dad's demands?[/quote] You should certainly talk about it with your family and your boyfriend.

AND WHAT IS THERE TO DO IN NORTHERN ENGLAND FOR NEW YEARS?

Depends where you are.... I hear Barnsley they play hunt the yank, don't know what thats about...

hehehehe



All the best sorting it out Kendra

[Boboff]

Or you could just keep the peace and go, especially as you are away for new year.
And live a little have a little Turkey !

The Pilgrim fathers sailed from Plymouth, and they wern't booted out they choose to leave to follow a new way of life, not permitted in England, subtle differences in how history is reflected each side of the "pond"

[Yudster]

The Pilgrim fathers sailed from Plymouth,

Hmmmm - the Mayflower's voyage actually started from the Essex port of Harwich, where captain Christopher Jones lived, just yards from the dock. His house is still there, my mum lives in the same street!

And Kendra, don't eat the turkey, you know you'll hate yourself afterwards.......!

[Boboff]

There last Port in England was Plymouth though wasn't it ? Or did Capt Chris nip home cuz he forgot his flask ?

You like just know everything and everybody, clever lady

[Yudster]

I reckon Plymouth was the last stop. Unless they popped in to the Isle of Wight to say cheerio to the in-laws.

And yes, you - and Gaspode - probably have a good point..............

[Boboff]

my point is damm fine lady ! and I am sure Gaspode is also,

Not enough fibre again !

[Fathomer]

You should be giving thanks kendra for the end of Bush.

Interested to know, do you think it will be Hilary Clinton vs. John McCain in the US 2008 Election?

[Yudster]

Wow, President Hillary Clinton? There's a thought......

[kendra k]

i don't trust hilary as president.

compromise reached! i go back on friday and have dinner with my parents and my uncle's family.

gaspode still hasn't come up with a new year's option.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I bear no responsibility for anything.

[Yudster]

President Hillary scares me too. Nice plans Kendra, hope it all goes well.

Are you definintely in England for New Years, because for the full-on experience you should really go up to Edinburgh for Hogmanay. They really make a big deal of it up there, I've never been, but I'm told its the place to be when the year turns.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

thats very nice of you to offer to take her Yudster.

[Yudster]

Oooh, I wish I could!

[Sidders]

I'm working on NYE.

[Boboff]

the end is nye !

[Walter Sobchak]

i don't trust hilary as president.

compromise reached! i go back on friday and have dinner with my parents and my uncle's family.

gaspode still hasn't come up with a new year's option.

Thats great, hope you have a nice time.

As for NYE, If I was 'up north' I would head to scotland for a couple of days, The Scots know how to celebrate Hogmanay.

[Mcqueen_]

As for NYE, If I was 'up north' I would head to scotland for a couple of days, The Scots know how to celebrate Hogmanay.

On the train from Manchester it will probably take over 4 hours to get there still. From Somerset it will only take about 1 hour more.

Being 'Up North' doesn't mean you can quickly jump across the border to Scotland.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Also getting to sheffield on new years day would be fun.

[Quincy]

thanks

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Yeah mr Mincy I see your boys are in Bolton on the 30th. dont block my car in.

[Quincy]

have you got a driveway and or some type of parking facility?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i have a car parking space yes. i wouldnt park here for the reebok though its a bloody long walk.

[Quincy]

hmm the 106 independence needs somewhere to hibernate during the match. i think we will probably stay the night in some hotel anyway so should be ok for parking.