[Morals]

These are supposedly true newspaper headlines. I like number 16....

1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years
22. CENSORED!!! (I have no idea)
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[Chief Erf]

i like 2 and 8, how random!

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i have nothing at all to comment on this thread. ive been sat here looking at it thinking... this is a crap thread.... but then i think of all the ananova sh*te i drege up an it looks better but still doesnt amuse me. this thread has addled my brain.

[coct]

I can't be arsed to read them really, thats what you thought too gaspode

[Uglybob]

these would more suited to the trash can posts

[Bridgie]

well i thought they were funny even if nobody else did

[Ickle Angel]

These are supposedly true newspaper headlines. I like number 16....

1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years
22. CENSORED!!! (I have no idea)
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

I thought they were quite funny and Im not just saying that

[Morals]

Cheers Bridgie, nice to see someone has a sense of humour. Oh, and Happy 18th Birthday mate!

[Ickle Angel]

Someone has a sense of humour. Oh, and Happy 18th Birthday mate!

Oh yeah bridgie. Happy birthday!

[Sam]

See above Bridgie - Congrats.

[Minnie the Minx]

Yeah Happy Birthday Bridgie.

[Bridgie]

cheers guys, i thought i might as well get on here this morning as i probably wont be fit to post later on

[Morals]

I should hope not! Go out, get slaughtered, get laid, get arrested even - it's not every day you turn 18!

Have a good one mate!

[Lew]

happy birthday bridgie

if there is one thing i have learned in my extra 37 days on this earth then it is this:
dont have a sh*t 18th birthday...

oh, and always wear sunscreen. if i had to give one piece of advice for you for the future, sunscreen would be it.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

my advice would be quilted toilet paper if you have the squits.

[coct]

Do not drink on your 18th, leave it for as long as possible until you drink.

Drinking sucks.

[Bridgie]

please explain

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

it takes away from the crack money....

[coct]

it will make your birthday not resemble a club 18-30 holiday if you don't drink. That is a good thing

[David]

i thought they were bloody hilarious

[Gigglyboots]

Happy Birthday Bridgie,

Hope you have a good day..and night, I'm guessing you will go celebrate with a drink or two, or more, lol.

[MK Chris]

Bridgie, now you're 18 go to Revolution (take ID, they're a bit hot on that.)

[Jonny Hoare]

or knock on tophers door and get him to buy you the top row.

all aboard the vomet comet

[Bridgie]

or knock on tophers door and get him to buy you the top row.

all aboard the vomet comet

lol, wise words of wisdom.

i am drunk now, had a great time tonight

[Sam]

You were drunk and yet spelt everything right? Give the boy a medal!