Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
User avatar
By kendra k
#407175
Topher wrote:Why?


Because I tried to do something with a Wordpress template for this new site I'm building and the CSS is all jacked up and I can't figure out how to fix it. I'm woefully out of practice and cranky.
User avatar
By Nicola_Red
#407461
I'm still a bit irritated about the christening I went to yesterday. It was a Christian ceremony in an old-school church. I bought a new dress and spent ages making sure everything was right - hair, jewellery, etc, and my flatmate wore a suit and tie. Hardly anyone else in the congregation looked like they'd made any effort at all - the couple in front of me, who I didn't know, he was wearing a t shirt and combats and she a tatty fleece with a STAIN on it - the sort of thing you'd wear to walk the dogs, or maybe do a bit of decorating. I was shocked - we are a metal community and lots of us have tattoos/piercings etc, but nevertheless I've been brought up to believe that you make an effort for a formal occasion, and I like doing that. Am I being old-fashioned?

(on the plus side, I was clearly the best looking girl there :D )
User avatar
By DevilsDuck
#407465
I would have been well pissed off if somone had turned up to our kids christenings like that. But luckily and thankfully everyone made an effort.
User avatar
By Munki Bhoy
#407504
I'm with you on this one. If you're going to have these ceremonies make a bloody effort or don't go/don't have them.
User avatar
By Yudster
#407507
For me, if its just a ceremony and an excuse for people to have a party, I can't see the point. If you want to have a party, have a party - why drag the church into it? If its an event which is genuinely significant and which you are doing through deeply held belief, then I'm not sure that what people are wearing really matters. Well it wouldn't to me.
User avatar
By DevilsDuck
#407508
Yudster wrote:For me, if its just a ceremony and an excuse for people to have a party, I can't see the point. If you want to have a party, have a party - why drag the church into it? If its an event which is genuinely significant and which you are doing through deeply held belief, then I'm not sure that what people are wearing really matters. Well it wouldn't to me.



So.....would that be the same for a funeral?

You wouldnt mind if someone turned up to a funeral for a family member dressed in dog walking/decorating clothes or jeans and a scruffy t-shirt?
User avatar
By MK Chris
#407509
For my funeral I want people to turn up in whatever they like, but not formal. Not that I'll know about it anyway.
User avatar
By Nicola_Red
#407510
Yudster wrote:For me, if its just a ceremony and an excuse for people to have a party, I can't see the point. If you want to have a party, have a party - why drag the church into it? If its an event which is genuinely significant and which you are doing through deeply held belief, then I'm not sure that what people are wearing really matters. Well it wouldn't to me.


To be honest I don't think my friend is religious so I'm not sure why she went for the church ceremony - tradition I s'pose. Maybe I am old-fashioned after all in caring what people wear to these things, I just see it as a formal occasion, regardless of the reason for it taking place. When some friends got married a few years ago they told me that they wouldn't care if I turned up in jeans and a t shirt and I believed that they were telling the truth, but I still went out and bought a new dress and whatnot - I just think it's respectful to make an effort. Maybe I'm just regurgitating crazy ideas my mother has drummed into me!
User avatar
By newsbeat
#407514
I'm not really fussed about my funeral yet. I'm not even 18 yet. Not long until hometime!!!
User avatar
By Nicola_Red
#407521
newsbeat wrote:I'm not really fussed about my funeral yet. I'm not even 18 yet.!


strangely enough, 18 yr olds can still get run over by buses/get cancer/get struck by lightning/have heart attacks/be in car crashes. When your number's up, it's up.
User avatar
By MK Chris
#407522
True, the age bit was irrelevant, but some people aren't fussed about their funeral regardless.

There was a BBC article a while back about a guy who had a terminal illness and had been told how long he had left and decided to organise his wake to be before he died, which I think is a brilliant idea. Unfortunately, he died early, but they still held it on the date he had organised.
User avatar
By Console
#407523
Topher wrote:True, the age bit was irrelevant, but some people aren't fussed about their funeral regardless.


Of course age is relevant - you're far less likely to do young than you are to die old.
User avatar
By Nicola_Red
#407529
Very true, but that doesn't mean you can't think about what you want at your funeral just cos you're young. Altho I do get that some people aren't bothered regardless. I've been to lots of funerals where I don't think the deceased had specified any particular instructions.
User avatar
By kendra k
#407530
I've only been to one funeral. We were sort of over dressed for it, but nobody seemed to care. It was probably one of the best funerals a n00b could go to.

Dang I miss my friend.
User avatar
By Nicola_Red
#407532
I'm from a huge extended family so I've been to loads. I was kinda thrown in at the deep end when my cousin and I were both 14 and he died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition. It sounds obvious, but every funeral I've been to has been very morose - not much of this 'celebration of life' you hear about.
User avatar
By Yudster
#407538
DevilsDuck wrote:
Yudster wrote:For me, if its just a ceremony and an excuse for people to have a party, I can't see the point. If you want to have a party, have a party - why drag the church into it? If its an event which is genuinely significant and which you are doing through deeply held belief, then I'm not sure that what people are wearing really matters. Well it wouldn't to me.



So.....would that be the same for a funeral?

You wouldnt mind if someone turned up to a funeral for a family member dressed in dog walking/decorating clothes or jeans and a scruffy t-shirt?

I wouldn't turn up like that myself, but no, I wouldn't mind if anyone else did. What does it signify? We are there to mark and mourn the death of a loved one - its just as possible to do that honestly and sincerely (which are the things that matter to me at such occasions) in jeans as it is in a suit.

What would upset me would be if someone turned up, however they were dressed, but really didn't care about why we were there, whether its a wedding, christening, funeral or whatever. Attitude and integrity are what demonstrate respect, not outward appearances. For me anyway.

But if anyone is going to an occasion of that sort where the people involved DO care about dress, well yes, it wouldn't be right not to comply with their wishes. I suppose the way to ensure there are no misunderstandings is to mention it when the event is organised.
Last edited by Yudster on Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
By MK Chris
#407539
I've been to a few, but no one particularly close. My maternal grandmother died when I was three from breast cancer (she was only in her forties) and I didn't go to her funeral because I was too young, something that I'm quite glad I didn't go to if I'm honest. I have vague memories of her (which most people are surprised at, but which I'm very grateful for), that's as much as I need.
User avatar
By DevilsDuck
#407544
Yudster wrote:
DevilsDuck wrote:
Yudster wrote:For me, if its just a ceremony and an excuse for people to have a party, I can't see the point. If you want to have a party, have a party - why drag the church into it? If its an event which is genuinely significant and which you are doing through deeply held belief, then I'm not sure that what people are wearing really matters. Well it wouldn't to me.



So.....would that be the same for a funeral?

You wouldnt mind if someone turned up to a funeral for a family member dressed in dog walking/decorating clothes or jeans and a scruffy t-shirt?

I wouldn't turn up like that myself, but no, I wouldn't mind if anyone else did. What does it signify? We are there to mark and mourn the death of a loved one - its just as possible to do that honestly and sincerely (which are the things that matter to me at such occasions) in jeans as it is in a suit.

What would upset me would be if someone turned up, however they were dressed, but really didn't care about why we were there, whether its a wedding, christening, funeral or whatever. Attitude and integrity are what demonstrate respect, not outward appearances. For me anyway.

But if anyone is going to an occasion of that sort where the people involved DO care about dress, well yes, it wouldn't be right not to comply with their wishes. I suppose the way to ensure there are no misunderstandings is to mention it when the event is organised.


fair enough.
  • 1
  • 281
  • 282
  • 283
  • 284
  • 285
  • 559

Editing gap to come