The place where everyone hangs out, chats, gossips, and argues
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By Quincy
#217170
Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......


BUMP........



BUMP........



BUMP........



Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.



BUMP........



BUMP........



BUMP........






He froze to the spot, he couldn' t believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin.

Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.



BUMP........




BUMP........




BUMP........




He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........






BUMP........BUMP......




BUMP........BUMP..





BUMP........BUMP......





The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......




BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...



BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...



BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...




He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.



BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....



BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.





Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........





BUMP...SCREECH...HOP..BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...




BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...



BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...






The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges..... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.






BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...






In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......

He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came .......





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...






He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....still it came......






BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...






He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........

















The coffin stopped.
User avatar
By Sidders
#217175
That wasn't worth it.
User avatar
By Quincy
#217176
tell me about it
By Jono
#217178
One of the skeletons off Funnybones - that 90s cartoon series?
User avatar
By Quincy
#217180
in a dark dark town, on a dark dark hill, in a dark dark house, in a dark dark room, in a dark dark cupboard. its TERRY NUTKINS
By big bob
#217228
Carrie is well hot !
User avatar
By Quincy
#217237
she lives in an oven what do you expect?
By Fathomer
#217276
groverr wrote:that was @rse


Funny Bones was awesome!
By underdog
#217850
so who is she coughing then?
User avatar
By Sidders
#217864
Nobody, she's stocked up on Strepsils.
User avatar
By Sidders
#218257
Why does this forum not have an 'ignore' option?
User avatar
By Console
#218258
It has a ban option.
User avatar
By Sidders
#218259
That is no good to me. Unless you have the power to dish out bans that is.
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By MK Chris
#218262
Yes, that you are an annoying prick.
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By Console
#218263
And that's not irony.
User avatar
By microchip08
#218267
Ah... sorry for any inconvenience this may cause...

And I've only done it today...

Sat is up Also i think Chris is off all this we[…]