[Sidders]

Yeah, but it is widely accepted that the Soft Cell version is the 'original'.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

it isn't well known that C'est La Vie by B*witched is actually a cover of the national anthem of Botswana.

[Morals]

I knew I'd heard it somewhere before....

[Blazin'Babe]

Yep , they dress up in their tribal uniforms and perform the riverdance apparently.

[DemonHorse]

it isn't well known that C'est La Vie by B*witched is actually a cover of the national anthem of Botswana.

I thought that was Rollercoaster not C'est la vie?

[Quincy]

nah, rollercoaster was originally penned in 1934 by hitler. it then went on to become one of the biggest wartime hits in china. all the teeny boppers loved it at the time. all the record sales funded new technologies for the luftwaffe.

then in the 60's the beatles did a cover version of this hit, but they called it when im sixty four. they changed most of the music and most of the words, but i was assured a few years ago by none other than ringo starr that this was a cover version. they put it on sgt. peppers and ironically it was track number 9, because hitler used to cut nine of his toenails and leave the small one on his left foot to grow long on its own accord.

then it was remixed by roger sanchez in the late eighties and became a cult classic in the underground club scene in new york. people were going mad for it. it started the whole "house" scene.

according to rumors mick hucknall of the band simply red was interested in doing a re-make, but he couldnt get permission as b*witcheds kievys fathers uncle was a close friend of hitler. so the rights to do a cover went to the lovely irish band.

i hope that clears it up

[fish heads]

i hope that clears it up

Yeah, but next time don't just copy and paste from google. It's just lazy.

[DemonHorse]

technically it wasn't from google... it was whatever site on google he found it on.
Either way thanks for the info.

[fish heads]

Actually he got it from Googles special page they set up - being one of their most searched topics. They thought they might as well compile it themselves.

[Quincy]

i dont believe in google. ask me about the history of another song i will delve into the memory bank and provide the required information

[fish heads]

Mambo No. 5

[Quincy]

well im glad you asked about the history of one of my favourite hymns. thats right i said hymn. this song was originally just called "mambo", it was about a young boy, by the name of mambo, and was taken from a passage in the bible where mambo has to sacrifice his own life to save the lives of his family. then in the 1800's, it was slightly modified, and that became known as mambo no.2. then over the years it was changed by different members of tha catholic church to include different meanings and teachings. it was decided that once it got to mambo no.5 to leave it and write some different hymns, instead of just changing the same one lots of different times. they came up with the classic "morning has broken" and other such hymns destined to be sang in school assemblies all over the world.

then in the mid 50's, a young scamp nammed burt bacheract made the song his own. he added an orchestra and jazzed it up a bit with some trumpets. he like them so much that after every verse he would shout "the trumpet!". the audiences at the casinos he performed in where going wild for it, but it was never released due to the church not liking burts radical haircut.

then in the 90's our good friend lou bega was listening to a collection of his favourite hymns on his 5 disc set of "classic gospel and church favourites", that he had ordered for £19.95 + £2.49 p&p from an advert he saw on eurosport late one night whilst he was watching oap sumo. he decided to do a remix as it was his favourite, and he had always wanted to be a singer. he got in dr.dre to help with the remix. they decided to take a leaf out of burt bacheracts book, and dre thought it would be good if lou could say "the trumpet" as much as possible. the song was released and became a massive hit. lous follow up hit "i got a girl" did not do so well. dre decided to stop working with lou after they had a bust up over who should go to the local spar and buy some kinder eggs.

[fish heads]

I apologise, you couldn't have got that from Google - they always leave the Kinder eggs bit out.

Well done Quincy

[DemonHorse]

as the chuckle brothers have just played the worst version, Lady Marmalade.

I believe that one has interesting history going way back to the 80's and possibly beyond, but I need details.

[Quincy]

Lady Marmalade was the first female builder in 1974. she helped build many buildings and in 1982, she was working on a private job in london. it was a house. it belonged to a mr p waterman. thats right, paul waterman. whilst she was plastering the front room, a letter was posted through the letter box. she looked at it and it was addressed to mr peter waterman. she stopped plastering the wall (something she would later regret) and got into the ford transit and took the letter to its rightful recipient mr peter waterman. she took it to him at his desk and he invited her to sit down and join him for some beans on toast and a pickled egg. she declined the beans on toast but chomped gleefully on the egg. pete waterman was in love. he was mesmarised by her chomping. he jotted down some lyrics about lady marmalade whilst wactching her eat a whole jar of "moulin rouge pickled eggs". after eating the whole jar he told her to get out of his office or he would get rick astley to write obsenities on her forehead with a big red marker pen. she fled back to work to discover to her distress that the plaster had set, but she still had half the wall to complete and she knew this would leave an undesireable line on the wall. she left the country never to be seen again. she is believed to be working as an undercover operative for nestle. while peter waterman randomly included some french words and the song was a big hit on the gay scene for jason donovan dressed in drag.

then in 2000 missy elliot was watching mtv hits in her underground lair in sweeden. it was camp classics day, hosted by none other than peter mandleson. "now at number 69, its lady marmelade, by jason donovan", shreeked the bent politician. missy loved the song and was body popping all over her secret den. she called up the biggest stars of the day, but none of them where available, so she called pink, christina, mya and that one who looks like a pig. they made the hit in missys secret underground studio in mongolia. she was playing it so loud that baz lhurman heard it as he was walking past shooting the video for his hit "everybodys free (to wear sunscreen)". he was inspired and made a film about the song, where missy elliot played the lead role as a whore in a brothel in brixton. pete waterman guess starred as a pantomime horse rear end.

[DemonHorse]

Informative as ever... wow.

[Sidders]

Hows about Unchained Melody?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I hear unchained melody was actually first penned by Adam and Eve can you confirm or deny this Mr Quincy?

[Quincy]

thats funny you should ask that...

it goes back to the 1950's when jeremy beadle was playing backgammon with michela strachan at clacket lane services on the M25, just outside sevenoaks. strachan was contemplating her next move when suddenly beadle fell backwards of his chair and was lying on the floor in happy eater unconcious. "was it the egg?" cried eugene heraideson (who would later go on to become the father of hermman heraideson, formerly of ipswich town, now plying his trade with charlton athletic) "i had one in here the other day, and i got home and fiented" michela carried beadle to her toyota corrolla and laid him on the back seat. she drove to the nearest hospital she could find, which unluckily for beadle, was in botswana. after days of traveling the arrived and beadle was pronounced dead upon arrival. during the post mortem they found that there was a link of chain lodged in beadles heart, and that had made it explode, with disastrous consequences. beadle was frozen in a laboratory just outside graham polls house in Tring.

the police, along with michela and scooby doo and his gang went back to clacket lane to investigate. they found in the kitchen some more chain. one end tied to a dishwasher, the other end was missing. "it looks like my pet panther, melody, has escaped by biting through the cain" said the chef as he was stabbed in the eye with a crossaint by the furious michela strachan. "you make me really wild" she said. "that gives me an idea" exclaimed michela as she was carted off to wormwood scrubs. she later returned to fame with a childrens tv show called the really wild show featuring terry nutkins. "so it looks like melody was unchained" said scooby. he went home that night and wrote the song we all know and hate, unchained melody.

he never released it as he wanted to concentraye on his cartoon career, but a few years later he met The Righteous Brothers at the superclub cream in liverpool. he sang them the hit on the tinpot careoke system in the pub nextdoor to cream, and they loved it so much they recorded it and released it onto the ususpecting public. it became a major hit and scooby became very rich indeed. he later became addicted to cocaine, and was found dead in his beverly hills condo 1994, having taken an overdose of strepsils.

in his memory, robson green and jerome flynn, who were experiencing massive sucess with their hit tv show "soldier, soldier" decided to re-releae the hit in the mid 90's. jeremy beadle was found a new heart in 1994 as scooby himself donated his strepsil infested organ to beadle. he was defrosted and the new heart worked a treat. he never got a sore throat again because of the strepsils.

[Morals]

michela carried beadle to her toyota corrolla and laid him on the back seat.

One image I never wanted to have in my head....

[Quincy]

well if that sickens you, dont ask how barbie girl by aqua was written. something to do with john prescott and mo mowlem featuring a guest appearance by timmy mallets mallet

[Morals]

<obvious response>
How was Barbie Girl by Aqua written?
</obvious response>

[Quincy]

the year was 1997. john prescott was moving house from his 1 bedroom maisonette in bradford to a 1 bedroom maisonette in skem. he decided it was time to move up in the world. he was carrying his collection of hardcore pornography from the boot of his jaguar when over the fence he heard a voice. "hi there im your new neighbour, politician and wannabe porn star mo mowlem". "ow do" said JP, "ey i tell you what, ive got me own video camera if you want to pop round sometime after prime ministers questions we can make our own amatuer production". JP was excited by the prospect of hours of passion with mowlem. so he decided to go and buy some props from his local sex shop, 'timmys house of hardcore'. he went inside the shop and behind the counter it was timmy mallet and his mallet. JP went up to mallet and asked for some naughty items. mallet explained to prescott that most people want some of the "special items out back" prescott was curious. "take me out back, i need these special items for my porno with mo mowlem" said an excited prescott. mallet took prescott out back into a small room. there he presented him with the two best sex toys on earth. the mallets mallet and the barbie bondage gear. "these will really spice up your love life" said mallet. prescott paid the £22,000,000 asking price for the two items with taxpayers money, and went back to make the porno in skem.

when he got there he put on the barbie bondage gear and called mo mowlem round for some action. mowlem came round and they made a porno. JP kept it in his cabinet. a few months later John was evicted by the council for not being skanky enough for the area, he moved to london. one day JP was asked to do an interview with andrew marr from the bbc. marr was invited round to prescotts new mansion where JP showed the porn to marr. marr was in seventh heaven. "ive always wanted to see mowlem doing that" gasped the bbc political correspondent, "wait till i show paxman" prescott was not delighted that marr was going to show jeremey paxman, so the chubby deputy pm demanded £22,000,000 compensation, and to cover the cost of his naughty items. Marr didnt have this kind of money lying about, so he asked his wife Lene, lead singer of euro-pop band aqua to help him pen a hit. they came up with barbie girl, inspired by prescotts multi million pound outfit. they made £500,000,000 from the song alone, easily enough to cover prescotts demands, and they had some left over to have andrew marr's ears enlarged so he would hear everything

[Adam]

Care to summarise?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

hands up anyone who read these after the first one?