Transcripts of Dave's Tedious Links
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By Nicola_Red
#460879
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Today's Tedious Link:

The Doves, Pounding

Today's Transcript:

A wish is what you make when you blow out your candles. candles shouldn't be burned at both ends, otherwise it'll end in tears. Tears tend to be salty, and in that respect share something in common with anchovies. Anchovies are something that I would remove from my pizza, along with mushrooms and possibly olives. Olives grow in groves in places like Greece. Greece is a European country, as is Belgium, which is a massive producer of beer and chocolate. 'Chocolate' is a song by Snow Patrol, who are fronted by Gary Lightbody. A light body is advantageous if you're a jockey. Jockeys tend to be quite short and wear funny little hats. If you like hats you should go to Stockport, as there is a hat museum there, next to the station. Stations tend to be a popular place for pigeons, which shouldn't be mistaken for doves, which links to The Doves and 'Pounding'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #21
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By Nicola_Red
#461601
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Today's Tedious Link:

Beyonce, Crazy In Love

Today's Transcript:

Pounding is what you might be doing with your meat if you wanted it to be really tender. 'Tender' was a hit for Blur, whose performance at the Brits was the reason they had to cut Adele's acceptance speech short. Short, first name Craig, used to play for Blackburn Rovers. The people who now own Blackburn Rovers make their money from chicken. Chicken is seldom seen on the menu in restaurants in France cos they prefer veal and beef. 'Beef' rhymes with 'reef', like the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, which is a living thing. 'Living On A Prayer' is a song which is often murdered on karaoke. Karaoke originated in Japan, as did sushi and bullet trains. Trains stop at stations for passengers to board or alight. Alight is what you want your barbecue to be, especially if your coals are a bit damp. damp is what we hope the weather won't be for Radio 1's Hackney Weekend, whose lineup includes Jay-Z. Jay-Z's wife is Beyonce, which links to Beyonce and 'Crazy In Love'.

Flaws:

Wateright today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #1
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By Nicola_Red
#455015
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Today's Tedious Link:

Underworld, Born Slippy

Today's Transcript:

'Crazy In Love' was released in 2003, which was also the year that 'Permission To Land' was a no1 album for The Darkness. Darkness is what you'd be plunged into if you had a power cut and couldn't find a torch. 'Torchwood' is the Dr Who spin-off starring John Barrowman. John Barrowman is very good looking, which is why I was once mistaken for him on a train to Warrington. The main train station in Warrington is called Bank Quay, but it's quay like a quayside, not key like you put in a door. The Doors featured on the recent Skrillex track 'Breakin' A Sweat'. Sweat smells, and eventually leads to B.O. B.O. are the initials of Barack Obama, who's got lots of followers on Twitter, but not as many as Lady Gaga, who's just passed the 20 million mark. 20 million would be a nice amount to win on the lottery. Lottery rhymes with pottery, which is an activity that involves washing one's hands afterwards, and in that respect shares something in common with delivering a baby. When a baby comes out it's covered in all sorts of gunk and is literally born slippy, which links to Underworld and 'Born Slippy'.

Flaws:

Seamless link. I felt like they played an odd mix of the track with too much backing beat on it, but it wasn't remarked on by Chris or Dave.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 1996

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Dave last linked to this track just over 18 months ago, in July 2010.
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By Nicola_Red
#462152
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Today's Tedious Link:

Smashmouth, All Star

Today's Transcript:

Slippy is what you don't want your kitchen floor to be, as you could fall over and break your leg. Legs are the part of your body that link your feet to your bottom. Bottom is the opposite of top, and 'Top Of The Pops' is a TV programme that used to be hosted by Fearne Cotton. Cotton is a natural material that is spun to make cloth, which is used to make clothes, which stop you from being naked. 'Naked' was a hit for Louise Nurding, who is now the wife of Jamie Redknapp, who used to play for Bournemouth. Bournemouth has a very attractive beach. The beach is a bad place to go if you don't want to get sand in your pants. Pants should only be worn for one day before they are removed and washed. If you remove the first letter of the word 'wash' and replace it with 'SM' you get 'smash', which links to Smashmouth and 'All Star'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #24
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By Nicola_Red
#463586
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Today's Tedious Link:

Will Smith, Men In Black

Today's Transcript:

A smash mouth is what you might end up with if you'd been accidentally hit in the face with a tennis racquet. A racket is something the local authorities might want to shut down. Shut down is what you do when you're planning on leaving your computer. The first ever computer was invented by a man called Charles Babbage. 'Babbage' rhymes with 'cabbage', which is something that rabbits like to eat. Rabbits reproduce faster than most other animals, which is why two rabbits can quickly turn into 37. If you add up the numbers in 37 you get 10, which is the number of years in a decade. A decade is a substantial period of time. Time is only properly understood by the likes of Professor Brian Cox, who used to be in D:Ream. D:Ream had a hit with 'Things Can Only Get Better' in 1994. If you fast forward four years from 1994 you get to 1998, the year that 'Gettin' Jiggy With It' was a hit, which links to Will Smith and 'Gettin' Jiggy With It'.

Chris: Yeah, love it!
Aled: Happy birthday!
Dom: Rob Brydon is a big friend of Will Smith, he can't believe it.
Dave: Would you like me to carry on with the link? To get to somewhere else...?
Chris: No no, not at all! We're not padding.
Dave: Okay...
Dom: Brad Pitt calls Will Smith George...?
Dave: Well, 1998 was a phenomenal year for many people...
Chris: You know how we all love Will Smith?
Dave: Yep.
Chris: Well does it matter exactly what Will Smith track it is...?
Dave: No! Cos you know, when I said it links us to that, that was just one of his songs.
Chris: You could have 'Men In Black'?
Dave: Yep.
Chris: That's another one which isn't, er, isn't 'Gettin' Jiggy With It'. Or, I've got 'Gettin' Jiggy With It' on my phone, I could just play it through the speaker.
Dave: We could just have 'Men In Black', couldn't we?
Dom: Yeah, that's a good song.
Dave: I mean that would be as good as any.
Chris: Right. Almost Dave's Tedious Link, it's 'Men In Black'!

Flaws:

I'm not sure why Dave would choose to name Brian Cox as having the best understanding of time as opposed to perhaps Professor Stephen Hawking, but technically seamless, despite the track issues.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #1
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By Nicola_Red
#464404
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Today's Tedious Link:

Rest Assured, Treat Infamy

Today's Transcript:

'Men In Black' was a film starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. Tommy Lee Jones shouldn't be mistaken for Tommy Lee, who's the drummer from Motley Crue. Motley Crue played Download a couple of years ago, the same day that Faith No More were headliners. Faith No More are American, and in that respect share something in common with Paramore. Paramore are fronted by Hayley. Hayley is also the name of Roy Cropper's wife in 'Coronation Street'. 'Coronation Street' recently featured a tram crash that resulted in carnage and devastation. Carnage and devastation are like the polar opposite of sweetness and honey. Honey is made by bees, and Manuka honey is so expensive that it's probably more valuable per ton than lead or gold. Lead and gold can be found on the periodic table, which is something you study in chemistry. Chemistry is what Heston Blumenthal uses a lot of in his fancy cooking, and if he was cooking a posh meal then rest assured you'd find it a real treat, which links to Rest Assured and 'Treat Infamy'.

Flaws:

Obviously sweetness and honey are only the opposites of carnage and devastation in a metaphorical way (and even then I'd say it's dubious). Additionally, a quick search found Manuka honey on sale for around £20 per 500g jar, which I'm fairly sure is cheaper than gold.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #14
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By Nicola_Red
#464597
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Today's Tedious Link:

Nelly, Country Grammar

Today's Transcript:

Treat is one of two options when knocking on doors on Halloween, with the other being trick. Tricks are something you'd expect to come from a magician. Magic Johnson is a big name in the world of American sport. Sport is what Tina does, as opposed to news, which is the concern of Dominic Byrne. Burn is what you don't want to happen to your fingers if you're lighting a bonfire. Bonfire Night is a celebration of the death of Guy Fawkes, who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. The Houses of Parliament are next to Big Ben. Ben Howard is a singer who was brought up in Devon. Devon is where Radio 1 are hosting their Dance Party, so let's hope it's not wellies weather. 'Welly' rhymes with 'nelly', which links to Nelly and 'Country Grammar'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2000

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

Dave last linked to this track just under two years ago, in August 2010.
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By Nicola_Red
#464851
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Today's Tedious Link:

Feeder, Come Back Around

Today's Transcript:

Grammar is something you learn in school, and normally comes under the banner of English language. English is one of many languages spoken in the world, with other popular ones being Swahili and Welsh. Welsh, first name Denise, is an actress who used to be in 'Coronation Street'. The cast of 'Coronation Street' were all at the Soap Awards last week. A week is about the right amount of time to spend on holiday in New York, which is nicknamed the Big Apple. Apples can be green or red, depending on what type they are. 'Ah' is what you say at the doctors' when they look at your throat. 'Throat' rhymes with 'boat', which is what you'd need if you were planning to take a trip on a river. A river has a mouth, and a mouth in humans is used for feeding, which links to Feeder and 'Come Back Around'.

Flaws:

It's Denise Welch, not Welsh. This glaring error was ignored by Dave despite the fact that he competed alongside her in 'Dancing On Ice'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #14
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By Nicola_Red
#465491
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Today's Tedious Link:

Basement Jaxx featuring Lisa Kekaula, Good Luck

Today's Transcript:

Around is the usual direction of travel for a belt that keeps your trousers up, or gives the impression that you have a waist. Waste is a big problem for planet Earth, as there are not enough places to hide all the waste that we produce. If you remove the first letter of 'waste' and replace it with a 'P' you get 'paste', which is what you need to hang wallpaper with. Wallpaper shouldn't be used to cover cracks, which should instead be filled with some kind of filler. 'All Killer No Filler' was the title of an album by Sum 41. Sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley used to be married to Avril Lavigne. If you take Avril Lavigne's first name and translate it into French you get 'April', which is month number four. 'Fore' is what people shout in golf to warn you that you're about to get hit in the head by a ball. If somebody you liked was about to tee off in a game of golf you'd probably say 'good luck', which links to Basement Jaxx and 'Good Luck'.

Flaws:

If you take Avril Lavigne's first name and translate it into French it's still Avril; I think Dave meant if you translate it from French you get April.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #12
#467011
I'm sad to report that Tedious Link was unofficially dropped and so there were no more links after this date.

However, I still have most of 2008 and some of 2009 to transcribe, so there should usually be some new stuff in the Vault for all you Tedious fans to read.

RIP a classic feature, and RIP the Chris Moyles Show.
Last bumped by Nicola_Red on Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:13 pm.
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