The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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1) Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl, 7AM NEWSBEAT 2) Kanye West featuring Adam Levine - Heard 'Em Say, 3) The Rasmus - In the Shadows, 4) Starsailor - This Time, 7:30 NEWSBEAT, 5) Hi-Tack - Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U), 6) Stereophonics - Dakota, 7) Meck - Thunder in My Heart, 8AM NEWSBEAT, 8) Strokes - Juice Box, 9) R Kelly - Ignition (Remix), 8:30 NEWSBEAT, 10) Madonna - Hung Up, 11) Snow Patrol - Run, 12) Beyoncé - Check On It, 13) TEDIOUS LINK: Michael Jackson - Man in the Mirror, 14) Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down (Scummy), 15) Will Young - All Time Love, 9:30 NEWSBEAT, 16) Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends, 17) Pharrell Williams - Angel, 18) Gorillaz - Dare

New Year, New You. New Dawn and New Potatoes. The date may have changed but theres always one thing you can always rely upon to stay the same. That's right, it's the warm, comfortable and familiar feeling of The Chris Moyles Show on Radio 1 - cause we all need a bit of consistency in our busy busy lives

Brief Big Brother, Brits & Bloopers
Chris watched Celebrity Big Brother last night and was dissapointed Pete and Michael started having a go at Jodie Marsh. Ordinarily, this wouldn't really be a problem but for Chris it is - he thinks that due to their sudden outburst he feels the need to feel sorry for Jodie Marsh which is the complete opposite to what he really wants to be thinking. Dom reckons that Pete and Michael have become a duo that you just wouldn't mess with. Chris agrees saying he wouldn't want to mess with Pete whilst Dave says he wouldn't really want to mess with Michael. The team picked up on the fact that Pete always seems to drink through a straw. Chris claims this is so his huge lips don't accidentally swallow the glass. Oh, and Chris has some Big Brother clips this morning!

The Brits nominations were out yesterday and Chris and the team discussed a number of categories. Dave's first problem was with Antony & the Johnsons, who among others, is nominated for British Male Solo Artist. Dave reckons that they should really be under Best Group rather than solo artist, he also thinks that 'Antony' looks like Dawn French. The next category was British Female Solo Artist, but Chris couldn't seem to recall all of the nominees. Charlotte Church, Kate Bush, Katie Melua, Natasha Bedingfield, but who is the nominee he can't seem to remember? Ah, of course its KT says Dom, who at this point was cottoning on to what Chris and Dave were making a point of. It turns out that yesterday, while reading the news on Jo Whiley's show, Dom's tongue made a slight slip when naming the Scottish Songstress. Instead of calling her KT Tunstall, Dom managed to start her surname with a C which resulted in 1000's of text messages flooding into Jo's show. Chris wasn't at all pleased either when Dom referred to James Blunt as a talented a-hole. Chris wanted to know what happened when Dom returned to the Newsroom after his small error. Apparently, there was a look of bewilderment from his fellow colleagues, but when he went to see Head of News, 'Sir Rodney' McKenzie he discovered he wasn't actually listening. Would probably have been better for Dom to keep his mouth shut then, instead of telling all, turning him pale. As you can probably tell from the fact Dom is still on the show this morning, he hasn't been fired... yet. Chris asked him to recreate the broadcast on the show this morning but Dom decided it was best to leave it until one minute past ten.

Chris: Could you recreate it for us later on this morning?
Dom: errr about 1 minute past ten I will do it for you.
Chris: Ah, on Jo's show.
Dave: She gets all the exclusives, Jo Whiley.
Dom: She does, she definitely got that one.

After the excitement of Dom's slight mishap, back to important matters, such as Big Brother. Jodie Marsh wants the public to see the real her. Chris reckons that they are, just she doesn't realise that we see her as a 'Good Time Hore'. Chris usually likes Michael and Pete but due to their constant fighting with Jodie, he feels as though they are being a bit unfair, especially when Jodie trys to defend herself when Michael tells her to shut up and starts a new completely different attack on her. Dave wonders if this is still because of Pete's 'Monkey Suit' (we know he means coat) but due to the fact he hasn't actually seen Big Brother since the weekend, he's wrong. Chris' girlfriend Sophie reckons that when Jodie went into the diary room to nominate last night, they turned the orange on the screen up as to make her look even more like a tangerine - of course, with her 'tip-ex' white teeth. Chris cheered at Preston when he made his nomintations last night: 'My Second Nomination is going to be Faria - She's not really earned the right to be in here has she? Do you know what i mean? She had sex with someone. Like, Well done.' Chris reckons he's absolutely right, continuing his ongoing hate of Faria Alam. Chris also loved Michael's advice 'Keep your mouth shut, and your ears open,' although he reckons that only the first half of that advice need apply to Jodie, and it applies to her legs too.

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One of a few pictures of Jodie Marsh on the internet which doesn't have boobs on it

TV Talk and Sickness
Chris is supplied that they managed to get Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon to come in and do their interview live. Dave says it's because they have a new film to promote which Chris can't wait for them to describe to his audience. It's a film about making a film about a book, which is a rather difficult book to understand anyway, nevermind all the film stuff. Dave saw the film yesterday where as Chris only saw the first half and will watch the second half later. He'd have watched it all yesterday but he couldn't concentrate on it as Sophie was uninterested and like the gentleman Moyles is, he switched it off and put Big Brother on, a programme with a better appeal to Sophie before she starts ringing people up halfway through the programme and preventing Chris from actually watching it anymore. She knows it gets on Chris' nerves but he's too much of a decent boyfriend to tell her to go away. Dave's favourite tactic in such a situation is to turn the volume up continuously and watch the green bar get bigger and bigger. Chris, on the other hand, goes for the Subtitles route, which shows the person on the phone that you really want to hear what they're saying on the programme but can't, causing a half arsed 'sorry' from the person in question. Unfortunately this doesn't always work for Chris as it just makes Sophie walk to the other side of the room, still leaving him with the same problem.

It wasn't long before Big Brother made it's way back as the main topic of conversation. Chris reckons Jodie is always slagging off Jordan as she has everything Jodie could ever wish for. Chris went on to have a mini rant about the Jodie/Jordan debate which he called a bit deep for 7:20 in the morning - pardon the expression. Dave thinks Michael Barrymore sounds like Michael Caine, Chris agrees but also thinks he's like a * version of Ozzy Osbourne. He mumbles and stumbles his sentences according to Chris although Rachel quite rightly pointed out that he is nowhere near as bad as 'Rodney' for mumbling. Obviously Rachel was still feeling ill from the day before when she came out with her first major remark of the day. The team soon realised her mistake and corrected her with 'Dennis Rodman'. Chris didn't know that Rachel and Dennis were on such good terms that they had nicknames for eachother. Of course, Rachel is back ladies and gentlemen, and it turns out she wasn't absent yesterday for a hangover. Instead, she had Carbon Monoxide poisoning - better coming into work if I was her. If Rachel hadn't rung up the gas company and got her problem sorted out, they'd probably be looking for a new producer next week. Today's big bit of advice from the team: 'Get a Carbon Monoxide Checker'. At the end of the link, Rachel pulled a 'Muppet' face which can only be another excuse to post a picture of Gonzo:

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One Road Travel, Travel based TV & TV Quiz Shows
Today's One Road Travel then... Hannah Crane from Bristol, 24 and a supporter of Crystal Palace, chose today's road which is Constitution Hill in Bristol. There's a few road works half way up the hill and its a bit wet apparently. Useful to all of those who live in the Constitution Hill area of Bristol and listen to The Chris Moyles Show. Just Hannah there then.

A few text messages came in after the news regarding Dave's comment about the Everton v Wigan game where he had to switch off after 60 minutes. He called it an awful game but didn't mean that Wigan or Everton were awful - just the game. There was a power cut to add to the excitement which caused people trying to light the football stadium with mobile phones even though the cameras kept rolling, running off their mysterious power source which no one else seemed to know about. Dave had switched off by then and was watching Location, Location, Location where a couple were searching for their dream home in Cornwall. Dom had already seen that episode where they chose the bigger house over the cottage and managed to get the price down to £170,000 - i didn't watch it, it's just what i was told. Chris asked Dave to get a bit more rock & roll with his televisual choices. Dave considered it to be a fine programme, as did Dom and Carrie. Apparently there's a new spin off series that starts this week, 'Relocation Relocation Relocation' which is where people buy two houses instead of one. 'A Show for Rich people' says Chris. Chris would rather watch the Great British Quiz which caused a new discussion to start, based on Channel 5's lunchtime Quiz Show, 'Brainteaser'. Chris and Dave think the woman who hosts the programme is rather fit. It also transpires that Dave rang in to appear on said show last week (as well as the BBC Radio Stoke phone in). He didn't get through however, after he'd tried 3 times, spending £1.50 a go. Chris reckons the other presenter of the show has worked in radio before due to his enourmously cheesy style of presenting, not to mention the accent. Chris reckons he's managed to figure out what they do for the Brainteaser phone in - they just swap the syllables round. So Terwin becomes Winter - easy - now you've just got to try and get on the air by phoning the ridiculously overpriced phone line time and time again.

Dave: So It's a bit like Reverse-a-word in that respect.
Chris: Yeah, only not as good.

Personally, Quizmania is the only quiz type show for me, with the fabulous Greg Scott.

BBC Radio Wars & Andi Peters News
BBC Radio Sheffield had been complaining about the commments Chris made about the station on Monday's show saying how it was completely local. Chris received an email from Toby Foster who does the breakfast show there (and is also the drummer out of Phoenix Nights). He doesn't really like Chris and sent him an email saying he should try out a comedy club if he didn't like his show. The afternoon presenter was apparently mentioning Chris' 'love' for the station which prompted Chris to make the sitation worse than it was by impersonating the DJ in question running a phone in in which they talked about giving Moyles 'a bop on' nose'. Chris defended his comments from Monday saying he loved that kind of radio with the cheesy features and phone in discussion groups although I don't think his compliment was accepted back in Sheffield. Chris said that the day they meet up with Toby Foster from BBC Radio Sheffield, he's sure they'll get on like a house on fire. Dave looks forward to that day. Dave also suggested that they listened to all of the BBC local radio output and produce a league table at the end of the year. As currently stands:

1) BBC Radio Sheffield
2) BBC Radio Stoke (where Dave tuned into a phone in based on the most expensive films of all time last week)

You'll also be happy to hear that the great Andi Peters *cue fanfare* will be taking part in ITV's upcoming Ice skating show - exacty like the one the BBC did last year but on ITV with Torville and Dean...

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AN-DI PETERS!

Celebrity Tarzan, Steve Coogan & Rob Brydon
It's back for the third time this week and it's still the same celebrity as Monday. However, the prize has since grown to the top 3 albums - The Strokes - First Impressions of Earth, James Blunt - Back to Bedlam and Kaiser Chiefs - Employment. Anna Davis from Norwich was the lucky copntestant this morning hoping to win the UK's only Tarzan themed Radio feature. She's on a hard shoulder on the M25 which is making her nervous - nevermind the fact that she's live on international radio. Anna guesses Jordan, and it's a thumbs down from Rachel. The prize rolls over to tomorrows show...

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Any guesses for what Rob Brydon is staring at? [url=mailto:tom.tomholt@gmail.com]click and suggest[/url]

So, time for the first guests on The Chris Moyles Show of 2006. It's Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. Chris started the interview by saying he was surprised they decided to take up the interview. Steve said 'The Early bird catches the worm' to which Rob added 'and we've got worms' of which Chris wasn't aware of. They spent a while discussing whether it should be a movie or film they talked about for the purposes of the interview. Steve shared his knowledge of the business by saying they called it a 'Picture' when you got all posh and in the know. Rob called it 'flick' which is good enough for me. They'd obviously been listening to the show earlier on when Chris and the team had been talking about their local radio mishaps as Rob picked up on the BBC Radio Sheffield rivalry early on. It didn't really help the fact that Chris had spent 5 minutes before trying to defend the situation and Rob bringing it back up didn't really help. However, it wasn't long for Steve to butt in and tell Rob to shut up about Chris and let them plug their movie/film/picture/whatever. Before that, they digressed into a short talk about why Chris stood up to do the show. Rob and Steve thought it must be painful to stand up for 3 hours - they'd get pins and needles. Chris explained that it makes his voice clearer when he stands and it doesn't really hurt his feet - he's stood for 3 hours - not all day like the people in Tesco's. Rob made a quick plug for Philadelphia - his chosen brand of cream cheese spread, and then they moved on.

Anyway, the film from Steve and Rob is called 'A * and Bull Story' and is basically for those that want to think. It also features David Walliams from Little Britain and makes you think - but not enough to hurt your head. It's a funny film where Steve and Rob play themeselves. Chris thinks it's better than Steve's last movie outing with the 'Around the World in 80 Days'. It's out on January 20th and Chris has given it his seal of approval, beating the Woody Allen movie as discussed on Monday's show.

Steve: It's a * and Bull Story, there's a lot of Bull in it and there's a....

Chris was dissapointed at the fact that Rob hadn't managed to grasp the Chris Moyles Show target audience, unlike Steve had. This prompted Rob to go into a bit of an embarrasing rap: 'Hey you, the Rock Steady Crew, B Bop breakers gettin wiv you.' The whole team laughed at his 'old skool' rapping. Chris told Rob that with that sort of attitude, he'd be offered a weekend show anytime soon, and let's face it - with the ever-vanishing vernon - he may as well have one!

Next came the mandatory questions from the listeners. As ever, the pair have the option to skip any listeners they think maybe potential stalkers, or just plain crazy. First up was Paul, a finance manager from Marble Arch. Unfortunately Steve didn't like him and turned him down. Next it's Colin from Liverpool who asked if Steve would be doing another series of Alan Partridge. Steve says there isn't a series planned but possibly a one off TV special or maybe even a film. Steve would like to do a round Britain tour where he interviews old Blacksmiths, Fred Dibnah style. Maybe not though... Next up was Bryan from Great Yarmouth who asked where Steve and Rob would most like to live - Kiddeminster or Aberystwyth. Rob and Steve both decided on the home town of Aled rather than Rachel claiming it was a beautiful place and was very peaceful. Beth, a beautician from Leicester was the third to get through to the boys and although it was Steve who said yes, her question was directly aimed at Rob asking if he'd do a Ronnie Corbett impression. Chris mentioned that Dom did a rather dire Ronnie Corbett impression and to be honest, they really did blow Dom out of the water with their superb impersonations. Dominic treated them to his version of 'ah no no, ah no'. Steve and Rob were speechless. Hopefully, that'll teach Dom to stop his poor impressions. More questions followed, from Tim, the lorry driver (delivering Steel), who asked Rob if he could do an impression of Ken Bruce (this time, to beat Dave). Another quality impression from Rob, and then the poor attempt from Dave, who, in comparison sounded absolutely terrible. Rob urged Chris to join in as Terry with a very nervous Dave although Steve and Rob had it cracked which sounded as if Terry and Ken really were in the studio. Final question, from 'Tim' in Yarmouth who asked Steve who his favourite actor was. Of course everyone had rung in with questions for Rob so Chris had to make this one up for Steve to which he replied, saying that his favourite actor was Jack Lemon. 'Tim' also wanted Rob to do his impression of Roger Moore this led Steve and Rob into a small Roger Moore roleplay, which soon morphed into Loyd Grossman and Michael Caine. Finally, and this time it really was the final REAL question, which asked Rob to do his Angry man in a box impression. Sounded like Kermit the Frog to me, but then that's just my take on that sort of thing. The interview came to an end with Chris being very very sorry to Radio 1 management for being 8 minutes late for the news. Classic. A very good point from the news being delayed - it meant the Ashlee Simpson song had to be dropped from today's playist.

Monoxide Chat & Tedious Link
The Team discussed Rachel's Carbon Monoxide poisoning with the rest of the nation this morning. This of course is the reason why she wasn't on the show yesterday. Rachel now has a big Red Warning Triangle in her kitchen but Chris claims thats just for her cooking. Hundreds of texts came into the show saying that if Rachel did have Carbon Monoxide poisoning, she wouldn't be on the show today and would be dead instead. Baring in mind she was told she had Carbon Monoxide poisoning by the guy from British Gas, it's not hard to see why she's still here. Chris and Dave advised Rachel to see a properly trained medial advisor. Dave also thought Dr Mark would be a good idea as they could make it a feature on the show - maybe to fill the 8 O'clock hour when they don't have any guests. Chris had other ideas as to what Rachel was up to on Tuesday, it involved Oddbins, 25% off, and Rachel's demand for a fine bottle of wine at a reasonable price.

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We recommend that Rachel invests in a Carbon Monoxide detector to prevent unrequired absences in the future

Tedious Link:
Pulp - Do You Remember the First Time. Pulp are fronted by Sheffield singer, Jarvis * who shares a surname with another Sheffield singer, Mr Joe * Joe * got to number 1 in 1968 with his version of 'With a Little Help from My Friends' which was later used on the credits for the late 80's / early 90's series 'The Wonder Years' which was set in the 60's and charted the formative years of Kevin Arnold who was played by actor, Fred Savage. Savage Garden were the Australian duo that consisted of Darren Hayes and some other bloke (Daniel Jones, Dave) who had several mediocre hits, including 'Truly Madly Deeply' and 'To the Moon and Back'. To the moon and back is how you might describe the pioneering journey made in 1969 by American astronaut, Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong shares the same surname as the cyclist Lance Armstrong who's the other half of singer Sheryl Crow. Sheryl Crow's lowest musical point was probably her ill advised cover version in 1999 of Sweet Child of Mine by Gun's and Roses. Gun's and Roses guitarist Slash is now in Velvet Revolver but before he properly fell out with Axel Rose, he did a couple of musical projects with other people including the guitar solo on Black or White by Michael Jackson which links us predictably to Michael Jackson and Man in the Mirror.


Tedious Problems

Almost, there were problems with the text system due to it being clogged up full of Gassy Texts. Although Joe * is from nearer to Worksop than Sheffield (although widely known as been coming from Sheffield - a bit like me coming from Bradford - I'm not really, I'm about 10 miles away), there were also some smart arses saying that Neil Armstrong never went to the moon, saying the photos were faked and some other people doubted Slash's prescence on Black or White. Of course he's on the track, he's in the video! (don't mention Amarillo and Peter Kay to Dave). Other than that, more or less fine!

Aled wanted to know who was in Dirty Diana. Chris said everyone. What a nice family show this is. Seriously, it was Steve Stevenson.

Half Time
It's Half Time on The Chris Moyles Show, and today it's all a bit random:

> Chris discovered that there's been a few downloads of the podcast in America and there's 3 reviews on the American iTunes.

> Throughout half time, Dave carried on his research from the Tedious Link saying how Joe * happened to be a gas fitter - maybe he should come round and fix Rachel's boiler?

> It's the final episode of the current series of Lost on Channel 4 in the UK tonight (in fact, as I write this review). Chris offered to bring in his American DVD so that the rest of the team could watch the first few minutes of the first episode of the second series but Aled urged him not to and for everybody to wait till June when it returns to Channel 4. Poor Rachel only managed to watch last week's episode, none before, just last week. Chris wrote down what happens on tonight's episode but with 3 people in the studio now knowing what was going to happen, Dave became increasingly worried that someone's tongue may slip and give the plot away. Rachel asked if the polar bears were still in the show - unfortunately they were cut from tonight's episode. Aled has been downloading the Lost Producer's Podcast which has revealed that they've written for 7 series so theres enough time for Rachel's favourite characters to reappear. Chris thinks it will ruin it if it lasts for so long.

> Oh No! Horror! Someone's texted in the final ending to Lost, Aled asks Chris to not read it out on air but he does so anyway: Pam wakes up, Bobby's in the Shower - it's all been a dream. - now how many times has that joke been done before?

Terry and Ken are back and Ticket Giveaway
The really poor versions, anyway. Terry told the listeners that Will Young would be in the Live Lounge today with Jo Whiley, and Ken said a lot of stuff, but half of it wasn't understandable so I won't write it here. However, a new addition to the Radio 2 crew this morning, Jeremy Vine was in the studio (he obviously couldn't sleep last night so came in early). Of course it wasn't the real Jeremy Vine, and was just Aled adding his voice to the repetoire.

Following the interview with Steve and Rob earlier, the team had tickets to give away to a showing of the new Movie/Film/Picture/Flick/Whatever. All the listeners had to do was text Bull to 81199, not the word * - that's setup for a JK and Joel Competition.

Beep Beep Busters - Day 3

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It's Wednesday which means it's Day 3 of the latest Chris Moyles Show Quiz, Beep Beep Busters.

Still on since Monday, it's Bryan with his new mascot, blow up doll 'Sonia' (although innocent Joce had written down that it was a blow up Dog), who's playing against a new contestant, Rebecca Lane from Essex who's mascot is a cow with a heart (but no name). Chris also mentions that he has a cow with a heart, but she's got carbon monoxide poisoning. Onto the questions:

M) According to the periodic table, what M is the chemical element represented by the symbol 'Mg'? [Magnesium] - Brian scores 1.
F) What F is the common term for the condition that effects those that are in areas of extreme cold and can result..? [Frostbite] - Rebecca scores 1.
C) What C is the title of a long running hospital drama series..? [Casualty] - Rebecca scores 2.
B) What B is the surname that links Blackburn Rover's Welsh striker Craig with bearded TV nature expert David? [Bellamy] - Rebecca scores 3 and wins the game, knocking reigning champ Bryan off of his 'High Chair'.

Chris cuts Bryan off in the usual fashion and it's on to the Golden Round for Rebecca as she steps up to the G Spot. Rebecca said that if she won the competition today, she'd name her baby on the way, Chris. If she loses, Chris suggests she names him Dave. Would be even better if the baby turned out to be a girl.

CC) Which CC is the singing sweetheart of hair-gelled Welsh Rugby hero Gavin Henson? [Charlotte Church]
PH) Which PH is the Hollywood Hotel millionairess who likes to make her own movies? [Paris Hilton]
DOH) What DOH was a recent big screen Hollywood remake starring Jessica Simpson, Johnny Knoxville and Sean William-Scott? [Dukes of Hazzard]
SS) What SS is the ITV show that sees Soapstars try to be Popstars? [Soapstar Superstar]
CABS) What CABS is the new comedy film that Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon were in promoting on the show just over an hour ago? [* and Bull Story]

With a little help from Chris on the last question, Rebecca becomes the new queen of Beep Beep Busters and will be back tomorrow on the show to defend her title.

And that's the end of another show review from myself. Don't forget you can make a comment about today's show or review by hopping over to the Message Board! - you don't have to be a member of the board either. I'll see you next time!

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