Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By dimtimjim
Love the new profile pic, Cat. You can be gangsta like me (and Snoop). :D
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By dimtimjim
Lad who assaulted my mate Mr-Leaky-Brain-Juice is at it again and back staying at Her Majesty's pleasure on a porridge diet.

Bad news: he's put someone else through it all since being let back out on the street (and is this time being charged with assault AND kidnapping - FFS).

Good news: his recent court visits for violent crimes WILL be put to the jury this time round as character reference. Fingers crossed he's taken off the street this time...
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By Topher
As some on here will know, I'm pretty liberal most of the time - but I think for violent crimes like that, 10 years+ should be a minimum for anyone convicted.
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By dimtimjim
Its F-f-f-Friday! And a bank Hol weekend (sorry Badger) - 'kin ace.
Chris has done the ice bucket challenge.

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By dimtimjim
Look at the background too, clearly back in Leeds with Ma n Pa... :?
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By chrysostom
It was regarding a story Coxy referenced about Chappers & a Henry Hoover that they wouldn't repeat. This happened so long ago and was only 5-10 seconds, I can't believe I remembered it.

"I was trying to Hoover cobwebs on the ceiling when the appliance snapped and landed right on my shorts as wife walked in!"
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By dimtimjim
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By dimtimjim
My main weakness is that I can never remember names. It’s my Whatshisname’s heel.

I cut my hand on a margarine tub yesterday. I can’t believe it’s not better.

It’s hard work eating this Lion Bar. It’s no Picnic.

My mate designed the machine that puts liquid centres into cough sweets. He says it’s not Locket science.

WANTED: Chefs who use herbs and spices sparingly. No thyme wasters please.

We call ourselves civilised, yet here we are in 2014, and I still have to empty the dishwasher BY HAND. - LIKE AN ANIMAL!!

I just got a free meal in Pizza Hut. They do it for everyone who jumps out of the toilet window and runs away.

I’ve had issues with mixing my metaphors in the past, but I think I can finally see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.

The dog is now completely bald but I still feel sicker than ever. I won’t be trying that hangover cure again.

ME: “I fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie.”
WIFE: “Fine. Incidentally, it’s pronounced ‘Quiche’”.

Mozart’s parents were idiots. Everybody knows it’s a pack of wolves, not a bloody Wolfgang!

POLICE OFFICERS WANTED for public enforcement duties. Interviews tomorrow. Come early and beat the crowd.

IKEA are rebranding their flatpack furniture ‘The Suppository Range’....because you put it up yourself.

I hate it when my Korean girlfriend shows me those big puppy dog eyes. In fact most of her cooking is pretty disgusting.

Scotland: “I’m leaving you.”
Britain: “You can’t!”
Scotland: “I’m leaving, it’s over.”
“Britain: “...I’m pregnant!!”
Scotland: “Aww Jeez!”

The Freudian Slip Society meeting has been cancelled due to unforeskin circumstances.
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By Yudster
Been looking at Tim Vine's material again Tim?!
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By Comedy John
Tim Vine - Pen Behind the Ear
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By Topher
Speaking of Tim Vine, he is in this, which has become my favourite Chase clip:

It even beats Fanny Chmelar:
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By dimtimjim
Yudster wrote:Been looking at Tim Vine's material again Tim?!

Nope, sorry; but he is good.

Got send a load via mail, thought i'd share...
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By dimtimjim
My good old reliable Sony earphones stopped working in one ear last week, so I got m'sen on eBay to search out some more.

Ended up getting some Sony MDR-EX700's (I use 'in ear bud type' earphones), nothing especially expensive (£13 inc postage), but the sound difference is incredible; these new ones sound so rich and full, with really good (low) frequency response. Just thought I'd share, for anyone who's in the market for new 'uns.
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By dimtimjim
Got a new job. Only handed in my notice yesterday and it seems I could be starting my new job next week! Exciting times..!
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