Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By Johnny 1989
#452662
Oh no indeed, my brother just told me, absolute shock that one, he was on Football Focus yesterday as well, RIP Gary Speed.
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By Yudster
#452663
Jeesh, what on earth happened to him? Poor man, poor family - I can't find any detail, this seems to have been a total shock. How awful. Oh no.
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By dreamer1978
#452665
Its such a shock that Gary Speed has passed away. So young and with a lot of life a head of him. My thoughts are with his family and friends.
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By Yudster
#452666
That is just dreadful if its true. Like someone said, he was live on telly yesterday afternoon, apparently fine and if he then went home and hanged himself, what the hell must he have been going through to do that? It just doesn't bear thinking about. And my first thoughts on hearing that were that I hope he didn't do it at home - if there can ever be anything "good" about my first husband's suicide, it was that at least he made damn sure it wasn't me or the kids who found him.

Oh this is horrible.
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By G-Sizzle
#452670
It's terribly sad news, but the fact hes taken his own life makes feel angry toward him too.
He has a family and young kids, No matter how low you are, you have a responsibility to your family.

Don't get me wrong, i know depression is an illness (if he was suffering from it, i assume he was) but its his family who will now suffer, and that's horrible for them.
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By Bonanzoid
#452671
G-Sizzle wrote:It's terribly sad news, but the fact hes taken his own life makes feel angry toward him too.
He has a family and young kids, No matter how low you are, you have a responsibility to your family.

Don't get me wrong, i know depression is an illness (if he was suffering from it, i assume he was) but its his family who will now suffer, and that's horrible for them.


This is horrific and quite numbing news, but I can't help but agree to a degree with your point. I can't imagine how hard the next while will be on his young family. Still, an absolutely tragic loss - couldn't help but think he was going places with Wales. RIP.
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By G-Sizzle
#452674
Bonanzoid wrote:
G-Sizzle wrote:It's terribly sad news, but the fact hes taken his own life makes feel angry toward him too.
He has a family and young kids, No matter how low you are, you have a responsibility to your family.

Don't get me wrong, i know depression is an illness (if he was suffering from it, i assume he was) but its his family who will now suffer, and that's horrible for them.


This is horrific and quite numbing news, but I can't help but agree to a degree with your point. I can't imagine how hard the next while will be on his young family. Still, an absolutely tragic loss - couldn't help but think he was going places with Wales. RIP.

he was doing an amazing job with Wales. He got a bunch of very average players playing very good football. He also got them up to 51st from 157th in the FIFA world rankings.
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By MK Chris
#452685
G-Sizzle wrote:It's terribly sad news, but the fact hes taken his own life makes feel angry toward him too.
He has a family and young kids, No matter how low you are, you have a responsibility to your family.

Don't get me wrong, i know depression is an illness (if he was suffering from it, i assume he was) but its his family who will now suffer, and that's horrible for them.

I am very lucky that I have absolutely no direct experience of this, but my impression of people who commit suicide has always been that firstly that they tend to be so good at hiding how they feel, even those closest to them often do not know that anything is wrong, even those closest to them couldn't imagine what they are about to do... and secondly that if they believe themselves to be a hindrance to their families and friends, then they're blinkered - they can't see that their passing will cause grief and suffering to their loved ones because they don't believe they are of any use to anyone. As I said I have no direct experience and could be totally wrong, but that is nearly always my impression.

It's incredibly sad, oh no.
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By Yudster
#452690
Topher, I reckon that's about as close as someone with no direct experience could get to how it often is. Every situation is different of course, but I would say you have found a lot of truth with that post.

People always said to me that I "must be so angry", and often expressed how angry they were at the apparent selfishness of suicide. I was never angry, still not. The only thing I could ever feel was overwhelming sorrow at the realisation of how utterly useless and worthless he must have felt he was in order to do it. I wish all the people who thought they were helping me by saying they were furious with him had realised that, because it would have been a lot more helpful.

I'm going to stop posting in here now, its actually getting a bit too much for me. Sorry people.
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By SAV1OUR
#452691
In my experience these devious, dark moods make you cover for them in public, and his appearence on telly would suggest that. Didn't pay enough attention to the game to really know who he was, I just can't comprehend how devastating this must be for his family. So very sad. RIP
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By Ilovematt
#452694
G-Sizzle wrote:It's terribly sad news, but the fact hes taken his own life makes feel angry toward him too.
He has a family and young kids, No matter how low you are, you have a responsibility to your family.

Don't get me wrong, i know depression is an illness (if he was suffering from it, i assume he was) but its his family who will now suffer, and that's horrible for them.


Do not be angry towards him, When you suffer from depression and are very low, nothing enters your head about family or anything. You just want to get away. It's not that you do not think about your loved ones, the poor man's frame of mind was in the wrong place and he felt he was doing what was right.

He is at peace now and it is very sad for his wife, who I read found him, and his 2 boy's.

Such sad sad news :(
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By Bas
#452695
Ken Russell, film director dead at the age of.....oh i don't know...80, 90 something like that..
I thought he died years ago, to be honest.
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By reviloslater
#452697
RIP Gary Speed. Really sad news, just watched the clip of Robbie Savage on BBC News yesterday and he was in tears by the end of it.

As someone who experiences bad depression I can understand the darkness of bad feelings.
It is absolutely true that while an act like this can be considered selfish, no-one who does commit suicide is in a right frame of mind. You don't have the right view of things and perhaps are so low that there is no other logical option but to end it. While Gary Speed leaves behind his family, which is very sad, he obviously could not manage with his life anymore.

Very sad, the loss of a fantastic footballer and great man. RIP.
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By Munki Bhoy
#452700
I can't even begin to understand the death of Gary Speed. And I'm married to a mental health nurse who tried to explain it to me.
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By Wykey
#452701
Ilovematt wrote:Do not be angry towards him, When you suffer from depression and are very low, nothing enters your head about family or anything. You just want to get away. It's not that you do not think about your loved ones, the poor man's frame of mind was in the wrong place and he felt he was doing what was right.


You're right about not feeling angry, there's nothing good can come of it.

I'm not sure it's a case of thinking it's right though, but of being absolutely sure there's no other choice.

It sounds like he had a tight family group, the only thing worth saying is that hopefully they're left to take care of each other.
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By Ilovematt
#452702
Wykey wrote:
Ilovematt wrote:Do not be angry towards him, When you suffer from depression and are very low, nothing enters your head about family or anything. You just want to get away. It's not that you do not think about your loved ones, the poor man's frame of mind was in the wrong place and he felt he was doing what was right.


You're right about not feeling angry, there's nothing good can come of it.

I'm not sure it's a case of thinking it's right though, but of being absolutely sure there's no other choice.

It sounds like he had a tight family group, the only thing worth saying is that hopefully they're left to take care of each other.



I do not mean what he did was right or he thought that. When you are in that 'very dark' place, in yourself, you feel it is right at that moment.

Mental illness is so hard to understand and explain to others who have not, or are going through it :(
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By Ilovematt
#452703
Bas wrote:Ken Russell, film director dead at the age of.....oh i don't know...80, 90 something like that..
I thought he died years ago, to be honest.



Oh no .. :( I also thought he had already gone. R I P
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By chrysostom
#452711
The news of Gary Speed's death has been horrible. I didn't find out until very late yesterday, it's a strange feeling to feel so sad towards a life of an individual who has been present on the periphery of your life for 10-15 years, but never engaged with it. There's not much known about what's gone on, but I can't help but feel awful about it.

Oh no.
By bmstinton93
#452724
This is so sad:

User avatar
By MK Chris
#454370
Christopher Hitchens, oh no.
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