Transcripts of Dave's Tedious Links
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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Placebo, Nancy Boy

Today's Transcript:

Oasis are from Burnage in Manchester, as is actor Max Beesley, who's also a percussionist and has played with various people over the years including Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams used to be in Take That and also had a solo career before getting out of the music business to look for aliens. The singular of 'aliens' is 'alien' which is also the title of a film starring Sigourney Weaver. 'Weaver' rhymes with 'beaver' which is a small toothy animal that is good at building dams. Dams are also built by humans to control water and sometimes generate electricity through hydro-electric power. 'Power' rhymes with 'Gower' as in cricket legend David Gower and the Gower Peninsula, which is an area of outstanding natural beauty in South Wales. South Wales is where Cerys Matthews is from who used to be in Catatonia and sung about Mulder and Scully from 'X-Files'. The word 'files' is an anagram of 'flies', which you wouldn't want on your picnic. Picnic is something you only really do in good weather. The weather at the moment is what they call changeable, which means there's a massive chance of rain on most days, and 'Rain' was the title of a forgettable hit by Madonna, who's from America, as is Brian Molko from Placebo, which links to Placebo and 'Nancy Boy'.

Flaws:

There was some discussion as to Brian Molko's nationality following this link. In fact Molko was born in Belgium, but has an American father and was brought up in several countries including Scotland, Lebanon and Luxembourg.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

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Today's Tedious Link:

SWV, Right Here

Today's Transcript:

A placebo is basically a medicine you take which doesn't actually do anything, you feel better when you've taken it even though it has no actual medicinal qualities. Qualities are what a potential employer would be looking for in a job interview. 'Interview With A Vampire' was the title of a film starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt used to go out with Jennifer Aniston, who recently starred in the film 'Marley & Me' with Owen Wilson, who was in the remake of 'Starsky & Hutch' alongside Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller has appeared in several comedy films in recent years, including 'Meet The Parents', 'Meet The Fockers', 'Zoolander' and 'Dodgeball'. Dodgeball is actually a real sport, where you have to try to hit members of the opposing team with the ball, I think. Ball, first name Bobby, is the comedy partner of Tommy Cannon, and they appeared together a few years ago in 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. 'Here' rhymes with 'beer' which is made from hops, while hops of a different type are what bunnies do. Bunnies can't drive cars, but if they could they'd have to take a driving test like everybody else, and if they were having their test the instructor might say 'stop at the traffic lights' or 'turn right here', which links to SWV and 'Right Here'.

Flaws:

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston didn't just date but were married. Additionally, Dave was correct in that one of the objectives of dodgeball is to hit opponents with the ball, but it isn't the only one - the others are catching a ball thrown by a member of the opposing team, or forcing them to move outside the court boundaries when a ball is thrown at them.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1993

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

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Today's Tedious Link:

Queen, A Kind Of Magic

Today's Transcript:

Right Here by SWV relies heavily on a sample of 'Human Nature' by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is sadly no longer with us, and in that respect shares something in common with Elvis Presley and Pope John Paul. The Pope, like all Popes, is based in the Vatican City, which is basically in Italy. Italy is one of the biggest consumers of pasta, which is made using flour and eggs. Flour and eggs are both primary ingredients in cakes, which are a speciality of our very own producer Rachel Jones. Jones is a popular name in Wales, and Wales, like Bulgaria, is a very good example of a country which has its own language. Language is the way that people communicate with one another all around the world. 'All Around The World' was a number one hit for Oasis in 1998. 1998 was the year that the World Cup was hosted by France. France is where some of Davina McCall's ancestors are from, and you can find out more about that by watching 'Who Do You Think You Are', tonight at nine on BBC1. Davina McCall, I would imagine, is a big fan of Harry Potter, which is a coincidence because today is Harry Potter Day on Radio 1, which means that every show is going to be a kind of magic, which links to Queen and 'A Kind Of Magic'.

Flaws:

Fresh pasta is indeed made from flour and eggs - but dried pasta, which is the more commonly consumed variety even in Italy, is just flour and water.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1986

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

Dave's oldest Tedious choice in some time today, beating his 1987 Def Leppard track from a few weeks back.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Jamiroquai, Space Cowboy

Today's Transcript:

Queen's frontman Freddie Mercury died in November 1991, and his sad death came as a great shock to the world, a bit like the recent passing of Michael Jackson. One of Michael Jackson's earliest hits was a 1972 smash entitled 'Ben'. 'Ben' rhymes with 'ten' which is the amount of years in a decade. The current decade we're in is nearly over, and amazingly it started with the year 2000, which was the millenium. 'Millenium' was a big hit for Robbie Williams and featured a James Bond musical sample and a James Bond-inspired video. 'Video', I think, is the Latin word for 'I see', or something. 'C' of a different type is a letter of the alphabet, and if you were to give it a number according to its order from the beginning, it would be number three. Three multiplied by six is 18, which is the age you have to be to vote in the United Kingdom. If you remove the 'United King' from 'United Kingdom' you're left with Dom, who reads the news and likes to wear dog blanket shirts and dress like a lumberjack. 'Lumber' is an area of the back. Back is where you'd want to make sure you went if you'd been sent into space, and if you worked in space as a cowboy you'd probably be called a space cowboy, which links to Jamiroquai and 'Space Cowboy'.

Flaws:

2000 was not technically the millenium, that was 2001 (we've been through this one before!) Also, the word 'video' comes from 'videre', which is Latin for "I see", so Dave almost had this one right. In addition, Freddie Mercury's passing didn't generate quite the same sort of shock as MJ's, considering that Mercury had announced to the public that he was suffering from AIDS the previous day.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #17

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Today's Tedious Link:

Scissor Sisters, Take Your Mama

Today's Transcript:

Space Cowboy was released in 1994, the same year that the World Cup was hosted by the United States of America. 'America' was the title of a big hit for Razorlight. Razorlight are fronted by Johnny Borrell who likes to wear really skinny jeans. 'Jeans' rhymes with 'beans' which are nice on toast with a bit of hot melted butter. Butter is a dairy product which means that it has a connection to cows. Cowes is also the name of a town on the Isle of Wight and a place that is popular with sailing types. Sailing people tend to wear blue and white striped clothing like Aled, along with deck shoes. Shoes were a big part of the economy of Northampton traditionally, which is why its football team, Northampton Town, is nicknamed The Cobblers. Cobblers must get a bad back, I reckon, because they spend a lot of time bent over. 'Over' is normally the last thing you say in a conversation on a walkie-talkie. Walkie-talkies are like CB radios, which are used by the police and truckers in places like New York, and New York is where Seema Kotecha is at the moment obviously, as we've just heard her on the street talking to The Meatles, and is also where the Scissor Sisters are from, which links to the Scissor Sisters and 'Take Your Mama'.

Flaws:

People texting in stated that the last thing said in a conversation on a walkie-talkie should actually be 'out' and not 'over'. Dave claimed that he had actually meant the last word in a sentence.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #17

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Today's Tedious Link:

Athlete, Half Light

Today's Transcript:

The Scissor Sisters aren't actually sisters, in fact the only one who could be a sister is Ana Matronic 'cos she's the only girl. The plural of 'girl' is 'girls' who differ from men in many ways, such as length of hair, the capacity for childbirth and the fact that they tend to sit down when they wee. 'Ooh Wee' was the title of a big hit for Mark Ronson, who shares the same first name as Manchester City manager Mark Hughes. 'Hughes' rhymes with 'fuse' which is the bit that you light on a stick of dynamite. Dynamite, first name Ms, isn't doing much musically these days, but did recently appear on the last series of 'Hell's Kitchen' with Marco Pierre White. White is the colour that you'd associate with surrender, doves and peace. Peace is something that should be given a chance, while chance, or rather the laws of chance, are an integral part of most games you play in a casino. 'Casino Royale' is the title of a James Bond remake starring current 007 Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig shares one name in common with Craig Cash, who wrote and starred in 'The Royle Family' and 'Early Doors', which also starred that fella from the Post Office adverts. The Post Office is where postmen and postwomen collect their letters dead early in the morning, when there's a kind of half-light, and all that walking must make them into a bit of an athlete, which links to Athlete and 'Half-Light'.

Flaws:

Seamless today, although Dave couldn't manage to name the star of Early Doors (and the Post Office ads!), actor John Henshaw.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 2005

Highest UK Chart Position - #16

This is Dave's second Link in a week to mention James Bond.

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Today's Tedious Link:

KLF, 3AM Eternal

Today's Transcript:

Athlete is a word you could use to describe someone like Chris Hoy or Bradley Wiggins, who's currently doing very well in the tough mountain stages of the Tour de France. 'Tour de France' is the title of a track by electro-pop pioneers Kraftwerk, who inspired loads of people and are from Germany. Germany is also where Michael Ballack is from, who plays for Chelsea. Chelsea is the name of the daughter of Bill Clinton, who used to be US President before George W Bush. Bush is what the Australians call their massive areas of natural habitat, which are home to stuff like dingos, possums and kangaroos. Kangaroos are marsupials, which means that they raise their newborn babies in a pouch. 'Pouch' rhymes with Crouch, who now won't be going to Sunderland. Sunderland is where Denise Robertson is from, who's the agony aunt on This Morning. This morning we've been playing a fun game which involves electricity. Electricity can be dangerous, which is why you often see signs outside electricity substations saying 'Danger: High Voltage'. 'Danger: High Voltage' was a big hit for a band called Electric Six. Six divided by two is three, which links to KLF and '3AM Eternal'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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Today's Tedious Link:

Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

Today's Transcript:

3am is about the time that Greg James has to get up, except this week when he's in for Scott and gets woken up by us at about half seven with his daily task. If you swap the 'A' in 'task' for a 'U' you get 'tusk', which is what an elephant has two of and what poachers often hunt them for. Four is the amount of wheels that a car has, and if a car has four wheels it obviously needs four tyres. Tyres are made from rubber which comes from rubber trees, which grow in places like Malaysia. Malaysia is a great place to eat chicken satays, which are served on skewers with peanut sauce. Peanut sauce isn't a good idea for people who have nut allergies, as it could cause bad times. 'Times Like These' was a big hit for the Foo Fighters, who have a drummer called Tyler Hawkins. Tyler Hawkins shares the same surname as Jim Hawkins, who was a fictional character from the classic book 'Treasure Island', written by Robert Louis Stevenson, who in turn shares the same surname as Pamela Stephenson, who is the wife of Billy Connolly. Billy Connolly has travelled all over the world, through Great Britain, across Australia and New zealand, and all over the United States of America, where they have buffaloes, buffalo mozzarella and even a place called Buffalo in upstate New York, and that very state is where the Goo Goo Dolls are from, which links to the Goo Goo Dolls and 'Iris'.

Flaws:

The Foo Fighters' drummer is Taylor Hawkins, not Tyler. Additionally, buffaloes are not native to the US.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 1999 (re-released in August 2006)

Highest UK Chart Position - #26 (#15 on re-release)

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Today's Tedious Link:

A Tribe Called Quest, Can I Kick It

Today's Transcript:

Iris is the name of a flower, and it's also part of the eye. 'Aye' is what Lorraine Kelly might say if you asked her a question and the answer was yes. 'Yes' rhymes with 'mess', which is what you get if you put a dog in the bath. Bath is what you'd have to have most days if you didn't have a shower. Shower is a term also applied to heavy bouts of rain, so in the current climate it's very likely you might get caught in a shower and end up soaking wet. The word 'wet' said in a German accent would be pronounced 'vet', which is the animal equivalent of a doctor. The plural of 'doctor' is 'doctors', who tend to have very clean hands because they give them lots of scrubs. The opposite of lots of scrubs is no scrubs, which was a hit years ago for the band TLC. 'TLC' stands for 'tender loving care', which is what you should always give pot plants and hanging baskets. A basket is what you should serve scampi in, along with chips, tartare sauce and a wedge of lemon. Lemon has a zest. 'Zest' rhymes with 'quest', which links to some A Tribe Called Quest and 'Can I Kick It'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #15

Time to check the archives - Dave last linked to this track back in February 2003.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Hole, Celebrity Skin

Today's Transcript:

The first voice you hear on 'Can I Kick It' is our very own Pete Tong. The plural of 'tong' is 'tongs', which are an implement for grabbing and moving salad. 'Salad' rhymes with 'Aled' who's currently in Hull, ahead of our exciting arrival on Humberside tomorrow evening. 'Evening' is what you might say to a stranger if you caught eye contact with them while walking your dog at night. 'At Night' was a top 6 hit in 2002 for Shakedown. Shake down is how you might dislodge a coconut from a tree, and more people die from being hit on the head by coconuts than get eaten by tigers. Tigers have stripes, and in that respect are like a more dangerous and more orangey version of zebras. Zebras give their name to zebra crossings, which are a safe place to cross the road. Other animals who give their name to pedestrian crossings are pelicans. Pelicans don't wear briefs, but 'The Pelican Brief' was the title of a movie starring Julia Roberts and acting legend Mr Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts are both celebrities, and if they got exfoliated and sold some of their skin flakes on the internet, it might be advertised as being 'celebrity skin', which links to Hole and 'Celebrity Skin'.

Flaws:

We'll take Dave's assertion re deaths from tigers and falling coconuts as truth, and say once again watertight.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #19

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Today's Tedious Link:

Nomad, (I Wanna Give You) Devotion

Today's Transcript:

Your skin is something you should be very careful with, especially in the sun where it can be damaged by UV rays. The singular form of 'rays' is 'ray', as in Ray Meager who plays Alf in Home & Away, and 'Ray of Light' which was a big hit for Madonna. Madonna's got really veiny arms cos she's probably been spending too much time in the gym, like Andi Peters. 'Gym' is one of the few words in the English language that contains no vowels, and in that respect shares something in common with 'rhythym'. Rhythym is what you need if you're going to become a drummer. A drummer uses drumsticks, but not the sort that belong to a chicken. Chicken is eaten across the world, even though it's called 'poule' in France. France shares a land border with Switzerland, Spain and Italy to name just three of its neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours, because good neighbours become good friends. 'Friends' is the series that launched the acting career of Jennifer Aniston, who used to go out with Brad Pitt, who was in 'Seven'. Seven minus two is five, and five is the amount of letters in the word 'nomad', which links to Nomad and 'I Wanna Give You Devotion'.

Flaws:

This is the second link in a fortnight in which Dave has mentioned Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt - and he still hasn't remembered that they were actually married rather than just dating!

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Time again to check the archives - Dave last linked to this track back in November 2002.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Blur, The Universal

Today's Transcript:

A nomad is someone of no fixed abode who travels across the desert with just a camel for company. Company is what lots of people need to prevent them from getting lonely. Lonely is how Akon feels a lot of the time, and I bet he felt particularly lonely when he got locked up and they wouldn't let him out. 'Out' is what Duncan Bannatyne would say if he didn't like something on Dragons' Den and was feeling particularly grumpy. Grumpy is the name of one of the Seven Dwarves, who were all big little people mates with Snow White. Snow White shares the same surname as snooker legend Jimmy White, who changed his name to Jimmy Brown at one point to promote a well-known type of sauce. 'Sauce' rhymes with 'horse', which is what a cowboy would use instead of a car. Carr, first name Jimmy, is a stand-up comedian and a big fan of Twitter, which is also the sort of noise a bird would make when it sings in a tree. The plural of 'tree' is 'trees', which collectively make up a forest or indeed a wood. Wood is traditionally a good material for making boats out of, and also things like spectacle frames, and if you didn't wear spectacles when you needed them you'd see everything in a blur, which links to Blur and 'The Universal'.

Flaws:

Not quite sure where Dave gets his assertion that wood has been used to make spectacle frames; a brief investigation seems to show early spectacle frames made of brass or other metals before plastic was invented.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

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Today's Tedious Link:

Primal Scream, Loaded

Today's Transcript:

Blur are fronted by Damon Albarn, who's from Colchester in Essex, which has a rich history as an Army garrison town. 'Town' rhymes with 'gown', which is an odd word meaning a dress or frock or something that girls wear to posh dos like weddings and balls. Weddings and balls are two examples of dos that might require the services of a DJ. There are many top DJs in the world, such as DJ Sammy, DJ Talent, DJ Otzi and DJ Pete Tong, who officially starts the weekend on a Friday, except last Friday when it was done by Mr Kay. 'K' is one of the twenty-six letters of the alphabet, and i think the alphabet was invented by the Greeks years ago, along with tzatziki and pitta bread. Bread is made using flour and water and yeast, which is alo integral to the production of beer. 'Beer' rhymes with 'steer', which is what you do to a plane or car or helicopter or a massive ship. The plural of 'ship' is 'ships', which were used a lot by the Spanish and Portugese in descovering and colonizing much of the world, and bringing back things like spices and rice and stuff. Rice is grown in paddy fields, which are very moist, or indeed wet. Wet weather is not ideal for clay pigeon shooting, and if you were clay pigeon shooting on a stag do or something, you'd have to make sure that your rifle was fully loaded, which links to Primal Scream and 'Loaded'.

Flaws:

As many texters pointed out, clay pigeon shooting in fact requires a shotgun, not a rifle.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #16

Another choice from the archives for Dave today - he last linked to this track back in September 2002.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Madonna, Like A Prayer

Today's Transcript:

Primal Scream bassist Mani used to be one quarter of The Stone Roses, who are celebrating their 20th anniversary with the re-release of their eponymous debut album in a new box set. Set is what you have to do to your generic hard disk satellite recording system if you want to record 'Top Gear' when you're away. 'Away In A Manger' is a classic Christmas carol which tells the story of the birth of baby Jesus. Jesus had special powers where he was able to turn fishes into bread and wine. Wine is traditionally made using grapes, which in the olden days were crushed under people's feet. Feet need to be washed regularly to prevent them smelling of cheese. Cheese is considered to be something of a delicacy and is often served after a meal with port. Port in the world of nautical navigation and boat-craft is left, while right is represented by the term 'starboard'. Bored is what you might be in some dull meeting on a Tuesday morning right now with your boring boss. 'Boss' rhymes with 'moss', as in Kate Moss, who's a supermodel and on hols with Lily Allen on a boat currently. Lily Allen has got dark hair, as has Madonna in the video for 'Like A Prayer', which links to some Madonna and 'Like A Prayer'.

Flaws:

In a flaw once again pointed out by many texters, Jesus did not turn fish into bread and wine. It seems that Dave had two of Jesus' miracles mixed up - the 'turning water into wine' and the 'feeding the 5000' by turning five loaves and two fishes into enough to feed 5000 people.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1989

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Yet another track repeated from a Link of late 2002 - maybe Dave's going through the list..?

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Today's Tedious Link:

Embrace, Ashes

Today's Transcript:

A prayer is what you might say in church or before you go to bed. Bed is where most people sleep, unless you're a horse, in which case you don't need a bed cos you can sleep standing up. Standing up is seen as a mark of respect when someone important enters a room. A room is what you'd be after if you were enquiring about availability or vacancies at a hotel. A hotel de ville in France can confuse an amateur traveller, as it's not really a hotel and is actually the town hall. Hall, first name Jerry, is a former Texan supermodel who was married to, or has certainly had kids by, Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones. Stones are what you wouldn't want in your boots if you were climbing up a big mountain like Mount Snowdon. 'Mount' is also a word associated with pictures, where you might have one mounted on your wall. The plural of 'wall' is 'walls', which need to be plastered with plaster of Paris. Paris Hilton is a celebrity dimwit who carries a small dog around with her in a handbag. If Paris Hilton was to meet someone like Nicole Richie at a celebrity barbecue, they'd probably scream, say "oh my God" and kiss twice on both cheeks, which would be their customary embrace, which links to Embrace and 'Ashes'.

Flaws:

Once again a flaw pointed out by many on the text, plaster of Paris is not used for walls at all, it's a different kind of plaster altogether. On the subject of Jerry Hall, she was not legally married to Mick Jagger, but they underwent a Hindu marriage ceremony and were considered 'common-law' husband and wife, which explains Dave's confusion.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

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Today's Tedious Link:

NWA, Express Yourself

Today's Transcript:

Ashes are what you find in the bottom of your barbecue once you've finished cooking. 'Cooking' rhymes with 'looking' which is what people do in shop windows. Windows of a different type is what Bill Gates invented for the world of computing, and it's this that has made him one of the richest men in the world today. Today is Thursday, which means that tomorrow is Friday and officially the start of the weekend. 'The Weekend' was a big hit for Michael Gray, and a track you will find on most Ibiza compilations. Ibiza the island is part of the Balearics, along with Majorca and Menorca, which all lie in the Mediterranean sea. 'C' is a letter, and number 3 in the alphabet, and the numerical next-door-neighbour of 'B' and 'D'. 'B' is probably what Jay-Z calls Beyonce, who used to be in Destiny's Child and is from Houston in Texas. Texas is the Lone Star State and somewhere that's famous for its oil. Oil is crucial in a motor-car, and the centre of America's motor-car industry is Detroit, which is where Eminem is from. Eminem is big mates with Dr Dre, and Dr Dre used to be a big part of NWA, which links to NWA and 'Express Yourself'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #26

Another track repeated from a Link of late 2002. I'm convinced Dave is consulting the list now!

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Today's Tedious Link:

Van Halen, Jump

Today's Transcript:

'Express Yourself' was the title of another, completely different, song by Madonna. Madonna is not married to Guy Richie anymore, and is rumoured to be one of the mentors who will appear on the new series of 'The X Factor', along with Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams likes aliens, and aliens are back in the news today as loads of old files from the 1990s have been released about sightings in this country and the USA. The USA is a massive country where you can go ski-ing in one state and surfing in another. Another Level was the name of the band from years ago which launched the career of Dane Bowers. 'Bowers' rhymes with 'showers' which are something that weathermen like to predict to ruin our summer. Summer is traditionally the warmest of the four seasons, while 'Four Seasons' is a name associated with hotels and pizza. Pizzas can come in lots of different varieties such as thin crust and deep pan, margherita and Hawaiian. Hawaiian pizza captures the flavour and culture of Hawaii by having pineapple on it. On it is what you need to be to be fully enjoying the benefits of a trampoline, and if you were on a trampoline in your friend's garden you might as well jump, which links to Van Halen and 'Jump'.

Flaws:

Once again watertight.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1984

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

This is Dave's oldest Link track this year, beating his 1987 Queen choice from last month.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Kylie Minogue, Shocked

Today's Transcript:

Jump is what a deer or wild antelope would do if it needed to get over a massive log. Log in the world of sailing is what a captain keeps and is a kind of diary. 'Diary' is an anagram of 'dairy', which is a place where milk and cream are pasteurised and put into bottles, tubs or cartons. If you add an extra 'O' to 'cartons' you get 'cartoons', which is how you might describe Tom and Jerry and Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse likes to play in his clubhouse with Minnie Mouse, Goofy and Pluto. As well as being the name of a famous dog, Pluto is also a planet in space. Space is the name of a famous club in Ibiza, and Ibiza is where Vernon was the other week, on the decks with DJ legend Pete Tong. The plural of 'Tong' is 'tongs', which are handy if you're doing a barbecue. A barbecue is a nice opportunity to cook outdoors and enjoy a sunny day with friends. 'Friends' rhymes with 'lens', which is what you have on your camera in order to make it zoom. If you were looking through the zoom on your camera, or maybe your telescope or something, and accidentally saw your next-door-neighbour completely naked in the shower, you might be embarrassed or maybe even a little bit shocked, which links to Kylie Minogue and 'Shocked'.

Flaws:

Pluto is no longer classified as a planet, it's now a star.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #6
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Today's Tedious Link:

Take That, Back For Good

Today's Transcript:

Shocked is what you might be if you were stupid enough to change a plug with wet hands. Wet hands are what you suffer from on a regular basis if you're a scuba diver or a vet. Yvette Fielding likes ghosts and her husband Karl is like a black belt or something in kung fu. Kung fu is a good skill to have as it can protect you against baddies and muggers. Muggers try to steal your wallet or your phone and get rightly locked up if they're caught. Caught is probably the worst case scenario if you're a salmon. Salmon is a pink fish that can be sold fresh or in tins, a bit like baked beans and spaghetti hoops. Hoops are what basketball players like to shoot, but it's easy for them cos they're eight foot tall. 'Tall' rhymes with 'mall' which is where American teenagers like to hang out and is basically just the American version of, say, the Metro Centre or the Trafford Centre. The centre of the Earth is also known as the core, and 'cor blimey' is what you might have said if you'd been lucky enough to see Take That at one of their recent stadium gigs around the UK, which links to Take That and 'Back For Good'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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Today's Tedious Link:

Massive Attack, Protection

Today's Transcript:

Good is the opposite of bad, which is the title of a classic album by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is sadly no longer with us as he died a couple of months ago in June, the same weekend as Glastonbury. Glastonbury is organised by Michael Eavis and Emily Eavis. If you add a 'B' to the front of 'Eavis' you get 'Beavis', who was the cartoon partner of Butthead. Head room is something that's important for tall people, and the reason you rarely see basketball players, Peter Jones or Jeremy Clarkson on a submarine. A submarine is a good way of sneaking up on people underwater. Underwater is also the best place to see fish, like in Australia's Great Barrier Reef. Reef are a West Country band who had a big hit in the mid-90s with 'Place Your Hands'. Hans is a popular name in Germany, which is somewhere known for its sausages, moustaches and cars. 'Cars' was a big hit for Gary Numan years ago that was famously sampled more recently by the Sugababes. The Sugababes have travelled all around the world, doing gigs everywhere from Barnsley to Bristol. Bristol is where we're going today for the Chris Moyles Show A-Level Karaoke Party, and Bristol is also where Massive Attack are from, which links to Massive Attack and 'Protection'.

Flaws:

The Sugababes didn't sample 'Cars', it was 'Are Friends Electric'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #14

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435901
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Today's Tedious Link:

Prince, Let's Go Crazy

Today's Transcript:

Protection is the only reason that people wear a crash helmet. The only word that rhymes with 'helmet' is 'pelmet', which is something that you get above a window to disguise a curtain rail. Rail travel is another word to describe the train. The plural of 'train' is 'trains', which is something that people have to do very hard if they want to be a top athlete. Athlete are a South London band whose hits include 'You Got The Style', 'El Salvador' and 'Wires'. Wires are what you find a lot of tangled up behind the back of the telly. If you swap the first letter of 'telly' for a 'J' you get 'jelly', which is what you might serve with ice-cream at a kids' party. 'Party' is a word that can be used to describe a happy gathering at a special occasion, or it can also be a group of politicians. Politicians wear suits and get to fill in expenses forms. Forms are also what you sometimes have to do on a plane when you go on holiday, especially when you go to America. America is somewhere that the Queen has been to on official visits, probably with Prince Philip. If you remove the 'Philip' bit of Prince Philip you're left with just Prince, which links to Prince and 'Let's Go Crazy'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1985

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Texas, Say What You Want

Today's Transcript:

Prince is very short and normally wears built-up shoes, like Ronnie Corbett, Tom Cruise and Simon Cowell. If you remove the last three letters of Simon Cowell's surname you're left with 'cow', as in the large cattle-type animal which have been responsible for a spate of attacks on ramblers recently. Ramblers like to go walking in the great outdoors, and are normally well-equipped with proper boots and waterproof clothing. Waterproof clothing is good for protecting you from the wind and rain. Wind and rain are what you wouldn't want to see when you were on holiday. A holiday is what the French call a 'vacances' and the Americans call a 'vacation'. The word 'vacation' is only a few letters away from the word 'vaccination', which is what you might need to protect you from nasty diseases. Diseases can spread and make you end up in hospital. A hospital is where you find a lot of doctors, nurses and ambulances. The word 'ambulance' on the front of an ambulance is normally written backwards, so you can read the word and realise it is an ambulance behind you when you see one in your rear view mirror. A mirror is something that I bet Beyonce has in her dressing room, and Beyonce is from Texas, which links to Texas and 'Say What You Want'.

Flaws:

Not sure if Dave has solid evidence that his short celebs do indeed wear built-up shoes, but we'll trust him and say seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

N-Trance, Set You Free

Today's Transcript:

Texas is a big state that's famous for producing cowboy hats and oil. Oil is really important to the state of the world economy, and sometimes important decisions are made just because of oil. If you add a 'B' to the front of 'oil' you get 'boil', which is either a good way of cooking an egg or a massive spot-type growth that needs to be lanced. 'Lanced' rhymes with 'danced', which is the past tense of 'dance', which is what they do on 'Strictly'. The new line up for this year's 'Strictly Come Dancing' has been announced, and the shock news is that it includes boxing legend Joe Calzaghe. Joe Calzaghe is from Wales, as are Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson. Gavin Henson shares the same surname as Jim Henson, who's the man who created The Muppet Show. The Muppet Show is the first programme that introduced us all to Kermit The Frog. Frogs like to live on lily ponds, except for tree frogs who presumably prefer to live in a tree. The word 'tree' rhymes with 'free', as in 'Set Me Free', which links to N-Trance and 'Set Me Free'.

Flaws:

A pretty big flaw in that Dave got the name of his choice wrong. He very deliberately introduced the record as 'Set Me Free' when it should clearly be 'You'. Additionally, Kermit did not debut on The Muppet Show - an early version of Kermit appeared in 1955 in a five-minute puppet show for WRC-TV's 'Sam and Friends', and Kermit as we recognise him today was one of the original Muppet characters on 'Sesame Street' which began in 1969, whilst The Muppet Show didn't air until 1976.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 1994 (remixes released in January 1995 and September 2001)

Highest UK Chart Position - #39 (remixes #2 and #4 respectively)

Dave last linked to this track back in November 2002.

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435904
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Today's Tedious Link:

The New Radicals, You Get What You Give

Today's Transcript:

Being set free is what you might dream of happening if you were a leopard in a safari park. 'Parklife' was a big hit for the band Blur, and a blur is what you might be suffering from in your eyesight if you were in need of corrective laser eye surgery. Surgery of a different type is what Aled offers the world every Sunday night from 10, only on BBC Radio 1. 'One' was the title of a big hit for U2, and U2 are from Dublin, just like those twins on 'X-Factor' last week, Jon and Edward. Edward The Confessor was the name of a King from years ago, I think around the same sort of time as the Battle of Hastings and the Norman Conquest. The Norman Conquest is represented by the Bayeux Tapestry, which I once visited in person on a school coach trip to Normandy in Northern France. France is a massive country where you don't often see chicken on the menu. The word 'menu' is a good example of a word which is the same in both English and French, like 'baguette', 'champagne' and 'rendezvous'. 'Rendezvous' was the title of a big hit for Basement Jaxx, whose alphabetical musical neighbours are Boyz II Men, Basshunter and Boyzone, and Boyzone's Ronan Keating is mates and musical partners with Gregg Alexander of the New Radicals, which links The New Radicals and 'You Get What You Give'.

Flaws:

Dave had his history almost right today - Edward The Confessor actually died in 1066, the year of the Battle of Hastings and the beginning of the Norman Conquest. Additionally, today's Link is the second one in a few weeks in which Dave has cited 'baguette' and 'rendezvous' as words that are the same in French and English, but of course they are French words that have been adopted wholesale into English, which is not the same at all.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435905
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Today's Tedious Link:

Feeder, Seven Days In The Sun

Today's Transcript:

The New Rdicals are from Los Angeles, California, and 'Los Angeles', literally translated from Spanish, means 'city of the angels'. 'Angels' was a big hit for Robbie Williams, who will be live on this show this coming Friday. 'Friday I'm In Love' was a big hit in the early 90s for The Cure. A cure is what you need if you're sick, however cure of a different type is something you might do to cooked meat. 'Meat' is an anagram of 'team', and as we all know there is no 'I' in 'team'. 'Team America' is a puppet-based comedy film from the same people who created 'South Park'. Park Ji-Sung is a Manchester United player who comes from South Korea. The capital of South Korea is Seoul, which is a city that hosted the Olympics in 1988. 1988 was the year that the Berlin Wall came down, thanks in part to freedom and David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff starred in the classic shows 'Knight Rider' and 'Baywatch', alongside, of course, Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson used to be married to Tommy Lee until they were granted a divorce, and if you remove the last two letters from the word 'granted' you're left simply with 'Grant', as in Grant Nicholas, the lead singer of Feeder, which links Feeder and 'Seven Days In The Sun'.

Flaws:

After this Link Dave insisted that he had actually said that 1988 had been "the year before the Berlin Wall came down", but I had heard and transcribed it as 1988, and so did many listeners on the text (it did actually fall in 1989, on November 9th), so difficult to say whether there was an error here or not. Additionally, Gregg Alexander, the man behind the New Radicals, is not from LA at all but Michigan. Also, it seems doubtful that David Hasselhoff actually contributed to the fall of the Wall, but we'll let that one slide...

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 2001

Highest UK Chart Position - #14

Dave last linked to this very track only ten weeks ago (June 22) - obviously a favourite of his.

(N_Red)
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