Transcripts of Dave's Tedious Links
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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Coldplay, Clocks

Today's Transcript:

Kasabian are from Leicester, which is also where Gary Lineker and Willie Thorne are from. Willie Thorne is what they call 'folically challenged', which means that technically he's a baldie. If Gary Lineker was bald, which he's not of course, he might be called a 'Gary-baldie', which is also the name of a biscuit. The plural of 'biscuit' is 'biscuits', which are a nice thing to eat with a cup of tea in the afternoon. The afternoon is when the Continentals go for a kip in order to recharge their batteries, and this is known as a 'siesta'. If you swap the first letter of 'siesta' for an 'F' you get 'fiesta', which is a type of festival and also the name of my great friend Carrie's car. 'Carry' is what you have to do with shopping bags when you've been to the supermarket. A supermarket is just like a regular market except that it's way bigger and more super, with lots of checkouts and lots and lots of tills, and if you remove the last three letters of the word 'tills' and replace them with 'C' and 'K' you get 'tick', which is the Irish word for 'stupid', and also the noise made by clocks, which links us to Coldplay and 'Clocks'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Christina Aguilera, Dirrty

Today's Transcript:

Clocks have been around for years and years, but before they were invented, people used to tell the time by staring at the sun. 'Staring At The Sun' was the title of a 1997 hit for U2 that was then covered in 2005 by the short-lived band who called themselves Rooster. 'Rooster' is the American word for what we would call a *. '*' rhymes with 'sock' which is a foot garment normally worn inside a shoe. A shoe is normally made up of three parts, those being the heel, the sole and the toe. Tow is what you do with a rope if your car had broken down and you needed to get it to a garage. 'Garage' is a good example of a word that is spelt the same in both English and French. English and French are two languages which are spoken by both Arsene Wenger and Davina McCall. Davina McCall is the host of 'Big Brother', while Big Brother is also the name of Oasis' record label. Oasis have recently been on tour around the world, where they visited the continent of North America, and North America, or more precisely the United States of America, which makes up a large part of North America, is where Christina Aguilera is from, which links to Christina Aguilera and 'Dirrty'.

Flaws:

There was some discussion as to whether towing a car with a rope is now illegal, but apparently it is legal as long as the towed car has tax and MOT, so all fine there. Also, "the United States of America makes up a large part of North America"? I think Dave may have meant that the other way round.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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Today's Tedious Link:

A, Nothing

Today's Transcript:

Christina Aguilera used to work with Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse has a clubhouse where Minnie, Goofy, Pluto and Donald Duck all hang out. Donald Duck shares the same first name as Donald Trump, who is an American business magnate and the original star of NBC's 'The Apprentice', which spawned the British version of the same show starring sir Alan sugar. Sugar is what some people put in their tea and coffee. Coffee comes from beans which are grown in places like Kenya. Kenya is in Africa and a good place to go if you want to see wild animals on safari. If you went on safari to the moon you might describe it as a 'moon safari', which was the title of the debut album by the French band Air. Air is what we breathe, and is made up of stuff like nitrogen, hydrogen, oxygen and some other gases. Gases are also what they put in fizzy drinks to give them bubbles. Bubbles is the name of the former chimp owned by Michael Jackson, who some people thought might have died, although I think he's actually still well and alive somewhere. 'Alive' is the title of a classic record by Pearl Jam, who I would imagine are a favourite of Radio 1's Daniel P Carter, who was also in a band called A, which links to A and 'Nothing'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report. Evidence suggests that Bubbles is still alive, although this cannot be proved.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

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Today's Tedious Link:

Mark Ronson, Ooh Wee

Today's Transcript:

A is the first letter of the alphabet, and the starting point for words such as 'anchovy', 'accountancy' and 'aardvark'. An aardvark has a really long nose which is used to suck up ants and stuff to eat. The word 'eat' rhymes with 'feet' which is what we walk on, in the same way that horses and sheep have hooves. Another animal that has hooves is a reindeer, which is why on Christmas Eve if you're really lucky you might hear the sound of hooves on rooves. Rooves can be covered with various different types of weatherproof materials, such as traditional thatch, felt, lead and slate. If you 'wipe the slate clean' metaphorically, you start afresh and forget everything that's happened. Forgetting everything that's happened is what might happen to you if you went to see a hypnotherapist to cure you of a bad habit. A habit of a different type is the uniform worn by a nun. If you swap the first letter of 'nun' for a B you get 'bun', which can be a sticky treat with a nice cup of tea. T, first name Mr, used to be in 'The A Team' and now promotes good behaviour and respect, and respect is something that Mark Ronson has in bucketloads in the world of music, which links to some early Mark Ronson and 'Ooh Wee'.

Flaws:

Once again seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #15

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Today's Tedious Link:

Graham Coxon, Freakin' Out

Today's Transcript:

Mark Ronson is mates with lots of cool people, and has worked with the likes of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and The Kaiser Chiefs. The Kaiser Chiefs are named after a famous football team from South Africa, which is the destination for the next World Cup, to be held in 2010. The number 20 is exactly twice as much as the number 10, while number 10 is where the PM, Gordon Brown, lives. Brown is one of the coloured ball options in a game of snooker, which is played on a table and involves lots of balls and six different pockets. 'Pockets' rhymes with 'rockets' which are what you might go up into space in if you were an astronaut or a cosmonaut or something. Astronauts and cosmonauts must eat a lot of dried food while they're up in space, and in that respect share something in common with students. Students are currently doing lots of revising because it's exam season. The plural of 'season' is 'seasons', such as summer for example, which is probably the best time to take part in the sport of rowing, where the little person who sits at the back of the boat and steers it and shouts through a megaphone and stuff is called the 'cox'. If you add the letters 'O' and 'N' to the end of 'cox' you get 'Coxon' as in Graham Coxon from Blur, who had his own solo record, which links to Graham Coxon and 'Freakin' Out'.

Flaws:

Again, watertight.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #37

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Today's Tedious Link:

Amerie, One Thing

Today's Transcript:

Graham Coxon has smoked the pipe of peace with former Blur bandmates Damon Albarn, Alex James and the other one, which is why they'll be reforming this summer for gigs. Summer is statistically the best season for gross sales of ice cream. Ice cream is made using ice and cream and flavours and other stuff, and has been around for hundreds of years, even before the invention of fridge freezers. Fridge freezers are really heavy, and the sort of thing that could cause serious injury or worse if one dropped on you while being hoisted high above the ground on a crane. A crane that you might see on a building site takes its name from a bird called a crane, which is found mostly in North America and lives on fish, rodents, insects and small berries. Buries of a different types is what a mole does in the ground to protect itself from predators. The best predators in the animal kingdom tend to be those which feature at the top of the food chain. A chain of a different type is what you might pull to flush on an old fashioned toilet. If you were looking for a toilet in an international airport, you'd be looking for the letters 'WC', which stand for 'wee-wee closet', everywhere in the world from the Congo to Canada. Canada is where the All Saints Appleton sisters were both born, which links us to Appleton and 'Fantasy'.

(Chris interrupts): Oh, really?
Dave: Where the link goes, nobody knows...
Chris: Well, where the link goes nobody knows, to the extent that nobody knew at all.
Dave: Ah.
Chris: Just to remind me again, while we find it in the system and load it up..the particular song that you have chosen is what, Dave?
Dave: Okay. Obviously I'm missing one part of the link...the Appleton sisters were born in Canada, and Canada borders America, and America is where many, many people have been born in the past, one of those being R'n'B star Amerie, which links us to her hit 'One Thing'.
Chris: Brilliant! We'll play that then, shall we?

Flaws:

A few issues today. Ice cream isn't actually made using ice (at its simplest it is made of milk, sugar, cream, and some flavouring, such as fruit puree or vanilla, plus air). Cranes are apparently not just found in North America, in fact there are representatives of the species on all the continents except Antarctica and South America. And as pointed out by listeners, 'WC' in fact stands for 'water closet'. Additionally, 'WC' is not used all over the world as Dave claimed - in fact many South American countries refer to a toilet simply as a "Water", which is now a term commonly found in Spanish dictionaries.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 2005

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

Dave insisted he had missed out the last part of this link which led to the confusion between the Appleton and Amerie tracks - a most unusual mistake.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Kings of Leon, Molly's Chambers

Today's Transcript:

Amerie was born in the United States of America, which as we know shares a land border with Canada, the birthplace of both Natalie and Nicole Appleton from All Saints. 'Saints' rhymes with 'paints' which come in lots of different colours and lots of different types, such as gloss, satin and matt. A mat of a different type is what you have outside your front door for people to wipe their feet on to protect your carpet. Carpets are popular in the Middle East, where they're sold in huge rolls in markets, making them difficult to get back in your hand luggage. Luggage of an emotional nature is what most blokes wouldn't be looking for in a potential girlfriend. 'Girlfriend' was the title of a number 2 hit for Avril Lavigne, who's married to Deryck 'Wobbly' Whibley from Sum 41. The sum of 41 is what you'd get if you were to add 27 to 14. 14 isn't divisble by any numbers other than 2 and 7. 'Seven' rhymes with 'heaven' which is where good people hope to go when it's all over, but getting in to heaven will only happen when you believ. 'When You Believe' was a number 1 chart-topper for Leon Jackson, and if Leon Jackson had a load of kings from around the world who worshipped him as their leader, they'd probably be known as the Kings of Leon, which links to the Kings of Leon and 'Molly's Chambers'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #23

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Today's Tedious Link:

Lostprophets, Last Summer

Today's Transcript:

Chambers, first name Guy, is a music producer who's worked with many people over the years, most notably Robbie Williams on his best work. 'Work' was a number 4 hit last year for Kelly Rowland, while Roland without a 'W' was the name of exactly one half of Tears For Fears. Tears are what some people suffer from when chopping onions. Onions grow in the ground and are used as a basic ingredient to provide flavour in everything from casseroles to curries. Curries are a staple diet for the people of India, which is a big country with a massive population. Population is something that governments measure in the world of statistics. Statistics are something I wasn't very good at in school, and in that respect share something in common with physics and maths. Maths is a subject I did as a GCSE paper last year, as part of Radio 1's Exam Week, and this year I'll be sitting biology. 'Biology' is, in my opinion, possibly the best single that Girls Aloud have released. 'Released' is how you might describe a baby eagle born in captivity and then set free into the wild, which is something they probably do in the summer when it's a little bit warmer, and let's hope that this summer is a bit warmer than the rubbish weather we had last summer, which links us to the Lostprophets and 'Last Summer'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #13

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Today's Tedious Link:

Faith No More, From Out Of Nowhere

Today's Transcript:

'Lost prophets' is how you might describe the Three Wise Men if they'd not managed to navigate their way to Bethlehem for the birth of the baby Jesus in a manger using only the moon, the stars and their own natural sense of direction. The plural of 'direction' is 'directions', which men traditionally don't ask for. 'Fore' is a word you might hear just before you get hit on the head by a fast-moving golf ball or cricket ball. Cricket is a game that can be harmful to various parts of your anatomy, which is why male cricketers are advised to wear a box down the front of their pants to protect their googlies. If you remove the 'I' and the 'S' from 'googlies' you get 'Google', which is an internet search engine. An engine is something you'd expect to find in a car or a bus to make it go. 'Go' was the title of an early hit years ago for Moby, who shares one name in common with the famous whale Moby Dick, who was massive. Massive Attack is the name of a band from Bristol who had hits with tracks such as 'Unfinished Sympathy', 'Teardrop' and 'Protection'. Protection is what you should always be wearing helmet-wise when riding a motorcycle, as danger is never far away and can come at you from out of nowhere, which links to Faith No More, playing Download this weekend, and 'From Out Of Nowhere'.

Flaws:

Perhaps more an omission of facts than a flaw, but Moby doesn't exactly share a name in common with Moby Dick the whale, rather he named himself after it, the author Herman Melville being his great-great-granduncle.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #23

This has been Dave's oldest Tedious choice in some time, and in fact Chris claimed not to know the track and therefore that it couldn't be a 'classic hit', even though it did scrape the top 20 which in 1990 was an achievement for a metal band.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Marilyn Manson, Tainted Love

Today's Transcript:

Faith No More have reformed and are headlining Download on Friday at Donington Park. Donington Park is also the home of the British Grand Prix, which means that today's first guest Lewis Hamilton will be going there in 2010, which is also World Cup year, where the finals will be held in South Africa. South Africa is a large producer of wine, and like Australia, New Zealand and south America is known as the New World. 'New' rhymes with 'pew' which is the name of the bench-type things you sit on in church. Church, first name Charlotte, is now a mum of two with her long-term fella, Welsh rugby star Gavin Henderson, who plays for Ospreys. Ospreys are named after ospreys, which are a type of seahawk bird of prey. 'Pray' of a different type was the title of an early hit for Take That, which means it's more than likely to feature in the setlist for the current 'Circus' tour. If you swap the first letter of 'tour' for a 'P' you get 'pour', which is what you do with drinks. If drinks contain no alcohol they're referred to as being 'soft'. Soft Cell were a band whose big hit was 'Tainted Love'. And 'Tainted Love' was then covered in 2002 by Marilyn Manson, which links to Marilyn Manson and 'Tainted Love'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

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Today's Tedious Link:

Def Leppard, Animal

Today's Transcript:

Marilyn Manson wears makeup, and in that respect shares something in common with Yasmina, who won The Apprentice with Sir Alan Sugar. Sugar is what you might have in your tea if you like it sweet. 'Sweet Like Chocolate' was a big hit years ago for Shanks & Bigfoot. 'Bigfoot' is another word for a yeti. A yeti is something large that you might see on a mountain in the snow. Snow was the name of a rapper who had a big hit in 1993 with 'Informer'. An informer is someone who could be referred to as being a 'grass'. Grass is green, and one of your favourite foods if you're a cow. Cow is the animal that gives us beef. Beef can be made into mince, which is a key ingredient in dishes such as spaghetti bolognese and chili con carne. Chili is popular in Mexico, where they like to take a nap in the afternoon under their hat, which they call a sombrero. Nothing really rhymes with 'sombrero', except 'Aero', which has holes in it, like a net, and a net is something which you might use to catch fish, or a massive leopard, which should be handled with care as it's a bit of an animal, which links to Def Leppard and 'Animal'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1987

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

This beats Faith No More as Dave's oldest Tedious choice in some time, and met with more approval from Chris than the FNM track.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Dizzee Rascal, Fix Up Look Sharp

Today's Transcript:

Def Leppard headlined Download last night along with Whitesnake and ZZ Top. ZZ Top are from Texas and in that respect share something in common with Destiny's Child. 'Child' was the title of a top 3 hit in 1996 for Mark Owen. Mark Owen is now back with Take That and back on the road, their next gig destinations being Cardiff and Glasgow. Glasgow is the largest city in Scotland, even though the capital is Edinburgh. Edinburgh is a popular destination for tourists visiting the UK, along with York, Windsor and Stonehenge. Stonehenge is a popular meeting point for Druids, who like to go there for the Summer Solstice. Summer is traditionally the warmest season of the year, while the year is made up of approximately 365 days. 'Days Of Our Lives' is the title of an American soap opera, which does actually exist and is mentioned a lot in 'Friends'. 'Friends' ran for years and starred the likes of David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston's family are Greek, and it was the Greeks who invented civilisation and the Olympics, and if you were in the Olympics and doing the hammer thing where you have to spin round and round you'd have to be careful not to get dizzy, which links to Dizzee Rascal and 'Fix Up Look Sharp'.

Flaws:

Once again seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #17

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Today's Tedious Link:

Appleton, Fantasy

Today's Transcript:

Dizzee Rascal is friends with Calvin Harris, who's from Scotland, like Susan Boyle. Boil is one of the many ways you can cook an egg. An egg can be produced by all sorts of animals, from humans to chickens, and even alligators produce eggs. Eggs are normally sold in boxes to protect them from getting smashed. Getting smashed is also an occupational hazard for glassware and ceramics. Ceramics and pottery is an industry that Stoke-on-Trent is famous for, and it's Stoke-on-Trent that we're going to tomorrow for our world famous Chris Moyles Show Karaoke evening. Karaoke was invented in Japan, which is also responsible for sushi and bullet trains, which always run on time and get you from A to B very fast. Fast is the opposite of slow, while sloe of a different type is a fruit that can be made into gin. Gin is often served with tonic as a refreshing summer drink. If you remove the first letter of 'drink' you get 'rink', which is where you might go ice-skating. Ice-skating, like ice hockey, is popular in cold countries such as Russia and Canada, and Canada is where the Appleton sisters are from, which links to Appleton and 'Fantasy'.

Flaws:

Humans produce eggs? Well, not strictly an error as human females do of course produce eggs, but not in quite the same way as chickens and alligators! Also, sloe gin is not a true gin but an infusion of vodka, gin, or neutral spirits mixed with the fruit to produce a liqueur.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

This was Dave's second attempt this week to link to this track - successfully this time!

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Today's Tedious Link:

The Charlatans, How High

Today's Transcript:

A fantasy is something that happens in your head and isn't actually real. 'Real' rhymes with 'Neil', which is the name of Greg James' producer, who we'll see along with Greg tonight in Stoke-on-Trent. 'Trent' rhymes with 'Bent', as in Marcus Bent, who's on the transfer list at Spurs. Spurs are what cowboys wear on their boots to make their horse go faster. If you swap the first letter of 'faster' for an 'E' you get 'Easter', which is one of the three main holidays of the year along with Christmas and summer. 'Summer' rhymes with 'Hummer', which is a type of large American vehicle first used by the US military in the Gulf War. 'Gulf' is only one letter away from 'golf', which is how Nick Faldo and Vernon Kay like to spend their days. Daze of a different type is what you might be in if you've just woken up from a deep sleep. Sleep is what the body needs for rest and recuperation in order to function properly. Properly is always the best way to do things, I find, whether it's fixing your car or mending a broken window. If you were mending a broken window upstairs in your house, you might need to use a set of ladders, but first you have to choose the right ladders depending on how high the window was, which links to The Charlatans and 'How High'.

Flaws:

Dave actually meant Darren Bent and not Marcus Bent. Also unsure about summer being a "main holiday" in the same way that Christmas and Easter are - surely more of a season? Additionally, Hummers were originally built for the US armed forces in the late 1980s and so predate the Gulf War by a good few years.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

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Today's Tedious Link:

Robbie Williams, Old Before I Die

Today's Transcript:

'How' and 'hi' are two informal ways of addressing a Native American Chief on a reservation. A reservation of a different type is what you might need in a posh restaurant. Posh restaurants are the sort of places that Aled and Andi Peters like to eat. If you add a 'B' to 'eat' you get 'Beat', as in 'Beat It' by Michael Jackson or 'Beat Again' which is the title of the current single by JLS. JLS did very well on 'X Factor' but narrowly missed out to Alexandra Burke in the final. 'Final' is nearly an anagram of 'Nihal', who does the Radio 1 Bollywood show with long-term Bhangra buddy Bobby Friction. Friction is something that can be painful, especially if you have friction burns on your knees from falling off your bicycle. The bicycle was invented by Walter Raleigh, who also discovered tobacco and potatoes. Potatoes are a primary ingredient in potato salad, which normally contains mayonnaise, which is made from eggs. 'Eggs' rhymes with 'legs', which are what you'd find on a table. A table is where you might put a porcelain tea-set, which is the sort of thing you'd expect to be made in Stoke-on-Trent, and something else that was made in Stoke-on-Trent is Robbie Williams, which links to Robbie Williams and 'Old Before I Die'.

Flaws:

A number of history-based issues today. Sir Walter Raleigh didn't invent the bicycle at all - it can be credited to several different people who all contributed to the various elements that make a modern bike what it is (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle#History for more). And although Raleigh has also been credited with bringing potatoes and tobacco back to Britain, both of these were in fact already known via the Spanish. However, it is true that Raleigh helped to make smoking popular at court. Also, Native Americans don't actually say 'how' - it is an Americanized version of the Lakota/Dakota Sioux word "Hau," which means "hello." This greeting is still used by Sioux people today, but of course Indians from other tribes (Blackfoot, Cherokee, etc) don't use this word at all - it's like suggesting that German, Polish and Russian people all say "Bonjour".

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

This is Dave's second Robbie Williams choice in recent times - only six weeks ago he linked to 'South Of The Border'.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Feeder, Seven Days In The Sun

Today's Transcript:

Robbie Williams is from Stoke-on-Trent, where we were last Thursday, sending Aled on a wild goose chase around the Potteries. Pottery is something that can be brittle and therefore very easy to break. 'Breakout' was the title of a classic Foo Fighters hit, and something you wouldn't want to hear if you were a prison officer. A prison officer is someone who probably has a very large keyring. The plural of 'keyring' is 'keyrings', which are something you can buy in every tourist shop in every place in the world. 'The World Is Not Enough' is the title of a James Bond film from ten years ago starring Pierce Brosnan, who many people think is English even though he's actually Irish, like Terry Wogan and Graham Norton and The Corrs. 'Corrs' rhymes with 'bores', which is what a massive drill would do to rock if you were searching for oil. Oil is sold in barrels, and the price of oil has a knock-on effect on the price of all sorts of things, from petrol to chocolate biscuits. Chocolate biscuits are what you should never leave in your trouser pockets on a hot day. A hot day is what you'd hope to wake up to every day if you were on holiday somewhere like, say, Ibiza or Greece. If you were in Greece for a week, you could describe your holiday as being 'seven days in the sun', which links to Feeder and 'Seven Days In The Sun'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 2001

Highest UK Chart Position - #14

Another repeat choice for Dave - only eight weeks ago he linked to Feeder's track 'High'.

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Today's Tedious Link:

Chemical Brothers, Star Guitar

Today's Transcript:

A feeder is something you might put in a cage for a budgie or a hamster, so they can help themselves to their own food. Food is what you should have, along with water, if you were going on a trek into the desert or the rainforest. The rainforest is somewhere you'd expect to find lots of trees and maybe also some monkeys. Monkeys can be a pest if you go to a drive-thru safari park, as they're likely to poo on your car or rip your windscreen wipers off. Windscreen wipers help you to see when you're driving through heavy rain. 'Rain' was the title of a big hit for Madonna in the year 1993, which weirdly was also the year that the opposite-sounding record 'No Rain' was a hit for Blind Melon. Melon is sometimes served as a starter, as an alternative to another rubbish starter, fruit juice. Fruit juice can be made from most fruits, except bananas, which aren't very good for juice. 'Juice' rhymes with 'loose' which is the opposite of Russell Brand's trousers. Trousers are described as being a pair, a bit like a pair of gloves or a pair of brothers, and two people who sound like they might be brothers but aren't are the Chemical Brothers, which links to the Chemical Brothers and 'Star Guitar'.

Flaws:

There is of course such a thing as fruit juice partly made from bananas...but it's more of a puree than a juice, so a technicality really.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #8

Yet another repeat choice for Dave - he linked to 'Setting Sun' just ten weeks ago. Maybe he's running out of favourite bands to play..?

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Today's Tedious Link:

Arrested Development, Mr Wendal

Today's Transcript:

The Chemical Brothers are known to their respective parents by their birth names, Tom and Ed. Ed from the Chemical Brothers shares the same first name as Philip Schofield's former co-presenter Edd The Duck. Duck is what you might have to do if you were on the roof of a fast-moving train fighting with the baddies, like in the movies, while the train had to go under a bridge. 'Under The Bridge' is the title of a classic record by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Red hot chilli peppers are what you put into Indian and Thai food to make it spicy. 'Spicy' rhymes with 'icy' which in the world of cold weather can be dangerous, as it's slippy. 'Born Slippy' was the title of a massive hit in 1996 for Underworld, and features on the soundtrack to the film 'Trainspotting'. Train spotting is what people like to do in anoraks while they stand on station platforms for hours on end writing down the numbers of trains. Trains of a different type is how Paula Radcliffe might prepare for a run. Run is what a robber might do if he or she had just nicked something from a shop, and hopefully the robber would get apprehended by the local police and arrested. If you combine the word 'arrested' with the word 'development' you get Arrested Development, which links to Arrested Development and 'Mr Wendal'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1993

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

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Today's Tedious Link:

Supergrass, Richard III

Today's Transcript:

Arrested Development also had a big hit in 1993 with 'Tennessee', which is the name of an American state. If you swap the second letter of 'state' for an 'L' you get 'slate', which is often made into tiles and put onto rooves or on floors. Flaws of a different type are a series of mistakes or faults, while faults in a geological sense can cause earthquakes due to the tectonic movement of plates along faults such as the San Andreas fault in California, which is the cause of much earthquake activity around the San Fransisco area. San Fransisco is a city known for its trams, and in that respect shares something in common with Manchester. Manchester is the city that's home to Coronation Street, which is a soap that's given us Les Battersby, Vera Duckworth, Tyrone and of course the Rover's Return. A return of a different type is something that Andy Murray must practise a lot of, and Andy Murray is playing today on Centre Court at Wimbledon. Wimbledon is an area of South London which has the postcode SW19. 19 was the average age of a combat soldier during the Vietnam War. The plural of 'war' is 'wars', which have been happening since ancient times over all sorts of things from religion to politics, and date back even further than the days of Henry VII, Mary Queen of Scots and Richard III, which links to Supergrass and 'Richard III'.

Flaws:

Earthquakes are in fact caused by energy release during rapid slippage along a fault - but Dave had his geology more or less right.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

It's another check the archives moment - Dave last linked to this very track back in August 2006.

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435875
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Today's Tedious Link:

Beverley Knight, Made It Back '99

Today's Transcript:

In * rhyming slang, 'Richard III' could be another way of saying 'bird', 'word', 'lemon curd' or 'nerd'. The word 'nerd' is spelled 'NERD' who are a band fronted by Pharrell Williams who I saw perform at Glastonbury courtesy of the BBC's excellent red button facility. The word 'button' rhymes with 'mutton' which is the meat of a sheep, as opposed to lamb which is the meat of a lamb. Lamb is what Rachel is serving up this weekend, at the incredible price of £6.30 for a lamb burger. Berger, first name Gerhard, is a retired Formula 1 racing driver who was a teammate and rival of the great Ayrton Senna. Berger is from Austria like the composer Franz Schubert. 'Schubert Dip' was the title of an album years ago by EMF which contained their two biggest hits 'I Believe' and 'Unbelievable'. 'Unbelievable' is how you might describe a cow driving a double-decker bus. The word 'bus' is an anagram of 'sub', as in a submarine which goes underwater. Underwater is where fish are generally at their happiest. If you remove the first letter of 'happy' and replace it with a 'Y' you get 'yappy', which is how you might describe a small irritating dog that would probably bark for hours and keep you awake all night. If you add the letters 'B', 'E', 'V', 'E', 'R', 'L', 'E', 'Y' and 'K' to the word 'night' you get Beverley Knight, which links to Beverley Knight and 'Made It Back ('99)'.

Flaws:

'Richard III' isn't normally * rhyming slang for any of the words Dave mentioned, in fact it's usually used for another word altogether, one that can't be repeated on breakfast radio!

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #19

Yet another repeat choice for Dave - we heard Beverley Knight's 'Come As You Are' about ten weeks ago.

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435876
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Today's Tedious Link:

Nizlopi, The JCB Song

Today's Transcript:

The plural of 'knight' is 'knights', who used to have round table meetings for having their dinner and meetings and stuff like that. 'Dinner' rhymes with 'winner' which is the position you'd like to finishn in if you were a Formula 1 racing driver like Lewis Hamilton or Jensen Button. The plural of 'button' is 'buttons', which are a traditional way of fastening a shirt or coat. The word 'coat' rhymes with 'goat', which is an animal used for food in places like Africa. Africa is where Chris went in February to climb a big mountain. Big Mountain was the name of a short lived mid 90s soft reggae outfit who had a massive number 2 hit with 'Baby I Love Your Way'. Weigh of a different type is what some people do every week if they're trying to lose weight, while wait of a different kind is what you should always do at a 'halt' sign if you're a motorist. As a motorist, you contribute a lot every year in terms of cash money, in things like road tax and fuel tax. If you swap the first letter of 'tax' for its alphabetical next door neighbour you get 'sax', which is a commonly used international abbreviation for saxophone, which is a wind instrument. The front bottom bendy bell horn bit on a saxophone looks a bit like the scoop of a JCB digger, and when you think of this kind of digger in the context of pop music you think of 'The JCB Song', which links to Nizlopi and 'The JCB Song'.

Flaws:

Not quite sure that 'sax' is an "international abbreviation" for saxophone, what with the word being entirely different in other languages...

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 2005

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435877
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Today's Tedious Link:

Adamski, Killer

Today's Transcript:

A JCB is something that you might use to dig a big hole, and so I suppose basically you could say that it's like a mssive spade. If you swap the second letter of 'spade' for an 'H' you get 'shade', which is what you'd be grateful for on a hot, steamy day. Steamy is what you bathroom would be like if you'd just had a shower and not opened the window or door. A window or door are the main escape options from a room in the case of an emergency. 'Emergency on Planet Earth' was the title of the debut album by Jamiroquai, released in 1993. 1993 was also the year that saw the sad death of the actor River Phoenix, who starred in films such as 'Stand By Me' and 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade' with Sean Connery. Sean Connery is from Scotland, like Andy Murray, who yesterday booked his place in the semi-finals at Wimbeldon. Wimbledon is a world-famous tournament that has played host to the best players in the world over the years, such as Bjorn Borg, Andre Agassi, Steffi Graf and Boris Becker. Steffi Graf and Boris Becker are both German, as is Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum goes out with, or is married to, Seal, and Seal provides the vocal on the classic Adamski track 'Killer', which links to Adamski and 'Killer'.

Flaws:

Heidi Klum and Seal are indeed married, but Dave did cover this option so all was well.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435878
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Today's Tedious Link:

Black Eyed Peas, Where Is The Love

Today's Transcript:

Adamski sounds like he might be Russian, even though he's really called Adam Tinley and is from the New Forest. A new forest is the opposite of an old forest like Sherwood Forest where Robin Hood used to play. Robin Hood is being played in a new movie by actor Russell Crowe, who used to be in 'Neighbours'. Everybody needs good neighbours, because next door is only a footstep away. 'Away In A Manger' is a classic carol and tells the story of the birth of baby Jesus. The baby Jesus was born in Bethlehem and his mum and dad were called Mary and Joseph. Joseph was a carpenter by trade, which means he was good at making stuff out of wood. Wood is what trees are made from, and the process of cutting down trees is called logging, and is done in places like Canada by lumberjacks, who tend to wear jeans and chequered shirts. Chequered shirts are a similar pattern to a chequered flag, which is used in motor racing to signal the end of a race. 'The Race' was a big hit years ago for Austrian electronica geeks Yello. Yellow is the colour of sweetcorn, which you might get served in the United States of America, along with stuff like grits, meatloaf and black eyed peas, which links to Black Eyed Peas and 'Where Is The Love'.

Flaws:

A couple of problems today: Yello are Swiss, not Austrian, and Joseph was not Jesus' dad - God was. (This issue prompted some discussion regarding the immaculate conception and how it would transfer into modern times.) Additionally, I think Dave may have 'checked' shirts and 'chequered' flags confused, as the patterns are not really the same at all.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

This record was billed as featuring Justin Timberlake, and a lengthy conversation about whether he does appear on the track followed Dave's link. It was decided that he does sing on the chorus, but his vocals are barely distinguishable.

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435879
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Today's Tedious Link:

The Coral, In The Morning

Today's Transcript:

"Where is the love" is what you might say to airport security staff if you were a celebrity chaperone and had been looking after Courtney Love but somehow lost her in Stansted Airport. Stansted Airport is in Essex which is where Denise Van Outen is from. Denise Van Outen is married to Lee Mead who played Joseph in the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. Musical is how you might describe Sir Elton John, who's very good at playing the piano. A piano has keys that you play, but did you also know it has strings as well. Strings are also an integral part of a guitar or violin, which like a cello is played with a bow. 'Bo Selecta' is the programme that gave us Avid Merrion, who's played by actor and comedian Leigh Francis. Leigh Francis shares one name in common with Sir Francis Drake, who was a keen sailor. The plural of 'sailor' is 'sailors', who make up a large part of the Navy. Navy is also a colour, as in navy blue, and blue is the colour of the ocean around the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, where you will find an abundance of beautiful marine life swimming in and out of the coral, which links to The Coral and 'In The Morning'.

(pause) You look confused.
Chris: Yeah..no it doesn't. Aled, search, now.
Aled: Yeah, I'm on it.
Dave: Not The Coral?
Chris: It will be.
Dave: Okay...ah. Now. This is interesting.
Chris: Here we go. Time is up. I did my job.
Aled: I'm on it! Here we go!
Chris: Okay. Alright. Erm, so...leads you to The Coral and what, Dave?
Dave: Well, there's two ways of doing this. Either we could play The Coral, or I could just continue the link...
Chris: Well no...the song that has appeared on my screen, shouldn't that be played tomorrow?
Rachel (in background): No.
Chris: Why?
Rachel: Because...we should play it today.
Chris: Well wouldn't it make more sense tomorrow? Really, when you think about it?
Dave: I'm easy. I'm flexible. Let's play what we were supposed to play today...
Chris: Why have I got The Masterplan by Oasis down then? Let's not beat about the bush, that's what it says on my screen.
Dave: Because...it would be good to promote the fact that Noel Gallagher is in tomorrow, and ahead of our trip to Wembley Stadium to see the Oasis...
Chris: Yeah...so then we could play it tomorrow, when he's on the show. tomorrow.
Dave: Well that makes everybody happy.
Chris: Right. So what do we play now, then? I'm confused.
Dave: Well why don't we play The Coral, and 'In The Morning'?
Chris: Would you like to hear 'In The Morning'? Right, done. Double click Aled, double click.
Aled: Done.
Chris: Ah, seamless! Look at it! Whose mistake is that, then?
Dave: Technically mine....

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 2005

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

Following this link mix-up Chris interrogated the team, and Dave pleaded guilty to "stuffing up the Tedious".

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#435880
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Today's Tedious Link:

Oasis, The Masterplan

Today's Transcript:

Coral can be hazardous for scuba divers because if you stand on it there's a danger of cutting your foot. A foot fault is something you wouldn't want to do if you were playing tennis like Andy Roddick or Roger Federer. Roger Federer has now won more Grand Slam titles than any other player, and is Swiss, like the cheese. Cheese is made from milk and in that respect is classed as being a dairy product. The word 'dairy' is an anagram of 'diary', which can also be known as a log. A log is what you wouldn't want to trip over if you were taking part in a cross-country race through a forest. 'Forrest Gump' is the title of a classic film starring actor Tom Hanks. 'Hanks' rhymes with 'yanks', which is what you'd have to do to an old toilet if you couldn't make the chain work. 'Work' is a song title that links Kelly Rowland and The Saturdays. Saturday is when sport is traditionally played in this country. 'Played' rhymes with 'laid' which was a big hit for the band James, and James were formed in Manchester years ago, and in that respect share something in common with Take That and Oasis, which links to some Oasis and 'The Masterplan'.

Flaws:

Seamless once again.

Tedious Facts:

This song has never been released as a single in the UK, and is Dave's first non-chart choice in some time. A successful link following yesterday's chaos.

(N_Red)
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