Radio One Online Chat Transcript, 21st February 2001
Who would you want to appear on the show?
Moyles: Probably anybody better than they've actually organised. I met a lap dancer at Stringers who was from Russia. She was quite nice. I think her name was Strudle. It would be nice to have Robbie Williams on singing. Or Will Smith. Or anybody I've maybe even slightly heard of
What are you getting or have you got anything already (for his Birthday)?
Moyles: I haven't got anything yet. The surprise is they've got me nothing. Here comes the boring stuff...
How did you start in the radio business?
Moyles: I pestered the local radio station until they let me come in and make the coffee and answer the phones ... and eventually the boss was worn down
Do u enjoy your job and was it your life time ambition?
What do you honestly think you would be doing if you weren't the Saviour of Radio 1? A contender for the world's strongest man? A jockey?
Moyles: I'd be a nuclear physicist
Dave: I'd be a philanthropist
Will: I'd be into antidisestablishmentarianism
Lizzie: I'd be an exisitentialist
What are your plans for the future?
Moyles: Go home and watch the Leeds game
Would you like to do more television work in the near future?
Moyles: Maybe. I don't know. Tv takes too long, however the money's great, so never say never.
How long do you think you're going to stay @ Radio1?
Moyles: Well, Mayo's just done 15 years, so I'd be happy if I got another 15 months in before I'm fired.
What's the thing that you got told off the most for?
Moyles: T & B's, but you have to guess what T & B's stands for
What things have you wanted to do that you've never been able to?
Dave: There's been nothing major. Sometimes there's stuff we can't do for legal reasons
When r we gonna hear more getolife?
Dave: We've been dropped
Moyles: To be fair, they never actually signed us. The record company chief listened to the record and then dropped us
Are you going to bring out an album of your parodies
Moyles: When we've actually managed to record 12 decent song parodies. we haven't got enough for an album yet. We'd do 12 brand new songs, and 14 for the DVD
What's happened to Lizzie's Celebrity Shopathon?
Moyles: It was dropped because it was shit. It was cheap, tacky bilge.
Moyles: It will come back under a completely different name.
Do you allow people to visit you and watch you at work? I am a podium dancer in various clubs...I'm sure you wouldn't turn down the opportunity to see a girl in her G-string, would you?
Moyles: Can we get a picture of her? We'll ring her, but if she's a minger, then she can't come in. That's not sexist because we don't let ugly blokes in either
Chris, we all love u. Have you ever been threatened with physical violence after slagging people off on air?
Are you not sick of working 6 days a week? What do you do on your day off?
Moyles: No, 6 days a week isn't that bad, becuase the sat show finishes at 1, so if we weren't working, we'd be just getting out of bed. The money's great. We now get paid £30 a show
Dave, what's the nastiest thing Chris has ever said to you, and does it hurt?
Dave: It doesn't hurt. It's part of the job. He pisses me off on a weekly basis.
Do you make up most of what you say on-air or is it planned?
Moyles: It's made up as we go along
Why do you never shut up and let us listen to the songs?
Moyles: We don't want her listening to the show any more. Go and listen to Dr. Fox
Comedy Dave - Are you the narator off Shipwrecked?
Dave: No, but I wish I was, because that'd be cashmungous. I am available for voice overs
Who, except you of course, do you think is the best DJ on Radio 1?
Moyles: It was Simon Mayo
Lizzie: I like Scott Mills
Moyles: I like Dixie Peach and Gary Davies.
Lizzie: And Adrian Just
If you hate your ringtone, why don't you just buy a new phone instead of scabbing one off a phone company by plugging their brandname?
Moyles: Because if I can get it for free, what's the point in paying for it?
Who would you rather Have Kylie or Rachel from S Club?
Moyles: That's a hard one. I'd say Kylie
Dave: I'd go for Rachel
Lizzie: Neither. Actually, Kylie, I love Kylie.
Hi chris and dave! do you like will or rhys better and lizzie or simon/mel?
Moyles: Will better than Rhys. Lizzie better than Melinda
Moyles: It's good having Lizzie on the show, because finally we have a BA who doesn't owe us any money
I'm being serious....if i streaked at wimbledon (the tennis) at the womens final would you sponsor me?
Moyles: Yes, but he has to write Moyles on his front and back in big letters
Lizzie: With a 'W' on each asscheek - WOW
How many pints can u drink without falling over??
Dave: If it's Will, then 3
Will: 1 pub!
Moyles: I can drink 25 pints a night without falling over.
Moyles: We're acutally tee-totalers and just lie on the air
What does Lizzy look for in a man
Lizzie: He has to be clean. Good sense of humour, lots of money, good snowboarder ... or alternatively, Chris, Dave or Will
How is the fitness going?
Moyles: Great. Lizzie's a bit lazy
Lizzie: I'm going to get some roller-blades and be out there doing it
Moyles: Well, I'm going to go around in a golf-cart, in a Fruit Of The Loom jumper.
How did you come up with the great receptionist stopwatch challenge? It is pure genius, it really is.
Dave: That must have been me then
Moyles: It was an idea inspired by some silly competition that Lizzie came up with.
What do you think of your fans that sit outside every Saturday?
Dave: They're great and we love them all!
Moyles: We're glad that they're so into the show that they'd like to come and meet us, but we wish they'd wash more
Moyles: Can we have some better looking ones?
What is your prefered colour of toilet roll?
Moyles: White, like the Leeds home kit
Is it easy to handle chris or do you tell him nothing because it'll be on air tomorrow
Will: It's easy to handle, and I don't tell him anything that I don't want to end up on the air. He's very well-behaved.
Chris - If you only have the futon bed thingy, where does ya mum sleep?
Moyles: Who said my mum is staying at my place. How do you know she's not staying in a top-notch hotel? She's not, as it turns out...
Are small ones more juicy? (question from 48DD)
Moyles: No, and can you send a picture?
Do you really loathe Geri Halliwell?
Moyles: We've talked about this to death on the air when there was Geri overkill... she's got an opinion on everything.
Will, would you say working with Chris is the pinnacle of your career?
Will: No, not in the slightest
Will: Jono Coleman of Heart was
Is one big belly coming back this summer???
Moyles: It doesn't look like it.
Dave: It seems to have been omitted from the summer schedule
Moyles: It is a tragedy to the 100,000 people who came to see the show last summer
Have any of your guests ever walked out of the show? who?
Dave: Kenickie were a pain
Moyles: Atomic Kitten were slightly annoying. They all spoke at exactly the same time. They weren't difficult, they were just too giddy.
Will Dave the photographer ever make a come back, we are missing him?
Dave: Possibly, maybe
Moyles: We miss Dave a little bit
Moyles: We might get him back, but he does get over-excited
What is your favourite song around at the moment?
Moyles: Gorillaz - 'Clint Eastwood'. I like that
Lizzie why are you single? Are you really that ugly???
Lizzie: Yes. You can find me on mingers.com
Dave: Skate mingers
Moyles: You're too picky
Why is Will so against having Page 3 girls on the show..?
Moyles: Can we just say that Lizzie is beautiful, she's very charming, funny and sexy, but she's not page 3 material
What does Frank Skinner talk about when he's out, does he crack jokes?
Moyles: He's a nice guy. He did tell a couple of witty anecdotes which were funny
Chris, if you were any member of any boyband, who would it be and why?
Dave: I'd be Lionel Richie from The Commodores
Moyles: I'd be MC Neat from DJ Luck and MC Neat, and Will would be Neutrino
Lizzie - was your mother really drunk at your christening, I actually like the name Suzette!!!
Lizzie: Suzette's a French name. My grandma's French-Canadian
What do you guys talk about inbetween the records?
Dave: We paint watercolours
Moyles: We like to smear rabbit's blood over our eyes. But the rabbit's never harmed during this, by the way
Dave - your "Girls going to football" predictions are amazingly accurate - how do you do it?
Dave: It's just intelligent guess-work. I think I'm fairly knowledgeable on football
Do you realise you have a big following in the pimp community?
Dave: Are they a recognised community?
Moyles: Where is the pimp community? Is it near the ****** community, or in a nicer part of town?
Moyles: Huggy Bear used to play football with Dave
So, what do you really think of Polly 3am?
Moyles: Because she has a face like a dog that's been chasing parked cars. And I bought her a sex toy and she still hasn't answered whether she's used it yet
What would you do if you were boss of radio 1 for the week?
Moyles: I would bring back Bruno Brookes and Simon Bates
Idea for TV - Would you go on "Blind Date" ?
Dave: No, cause Cilla's a pain in the ass
Moyles: But we'd have a lorra lorra fun
Lizzie: A lorra lorra laughs!
Why don't you try Secret Squirrel on someone famous?.... Think of the scandal!!!
Dave: Well, funny you should say that, but that's perhaps part 2...
Why can't i pick up girls?
Dave: You're not strong enough
What do you think of the Eminem and Elton duo?
Moyles: I think it's great. Dave and I are planning for next year's Brit Awards that Ghetto Life, Steps, Cleopatra and B*witched are going to team up and do a Carpenters medley
What's your preference, a g-string or briefs?
Moyles: G string
Dave: ... then it looks like a ball of cheese. One of those baby-bels
How did you meet Jon Culshaw? What's his best impression? Is he coming back?
Moyles: He was working for another radio station in London and we nicked him.
Moyles: He came to the warm bosom of our family. His best impression is...
Dave: Dale Winton, technically it's the best one.
Dave, where did you learn to rap so well.
Dave: On the mean streets of Warrington.
Dave: You had to rap otherwise you wouldn't survive. You wouldn't last five minutes
How does it feel to be the most popular DJ in Skelmersdale?
Dave: It's the highest accolade one can have
Moyles: After Poulton-Le-Fylde, being the best DJ in Skem is the highest honour
Do you ever get sick of listening to music?
Moyles: No because the music on radio 1 is oh-so-great
Dave, why in your TV show did you always wear stupid outfits?
Moyles: Becuase Chris refused!
Dave: It seemed like a good idea
Dave: I like the fact that I was wearing an outfit on every episode. It was a bit bizarre
Have you ever been really late for a live show?
Moyles: Yes, because of the effects of alcohol and excess
Dave: We've acutally heard the start of the show in your flat before
Chris you always chat with the newsbeat people. Do you think they hate you?
Moyles: There are a few individuals who don't appreciate the gag
Moyles: Can I just say to all the die-hard fans that the legendary Geordie Kid is reading out the questions today
What is your favourite Website?
Moyles: Well, the Stringfellows site is quite impressive, I must admit
Lizzie: Expedia.co.uk, that offer really cheap holidays!
Moyles: Dean & Nigel is a good site.
Moyles: ChrisTarrant.com is a good one
Moyles: It's very funny
Moyles: And also www.dickcheese.co.uk
Moyles: Thank you very much to all the lonely sad internet geeks, who've sat in front of their computers for the past hour, but I actually have to go to the pub now ...and Lizzie and I are going to make red-hot passionate love
Lizzie: No we're not. You're going home to your girlfriend to cook her dinner!
Moyles: No I'm not, I'm going home to watch the Leeds game.