Celebrity Raspberry, the SoundMachine, Articles & Moyles Usenet Postings
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By Chris
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By Sam, Mark & Neil

A IS FOR…

Aled – The young welsh tea maker who shares his name with a man who used to fly with snowmen. Aled joined the show in September 2002 following the departure of Lizzie and has made himself housewives favourite as the font of all Big Brother and Fame Academy knowledge. He comes from Aberwyswith.

American Joe - American Joe is the show's friend from New York . He came over and met them for the first time in January 2002, though not a lot has been heard of him recently.

Ana Boulter - Ana used to present CBBC and is Chris's ex-girlfriend. They went out on and off from March 1999 until late 2001. Her name rarely comes up now, usually when Chris is talking about how little sex he used to get from her and how high maintainence she is. Same as when they were going out then.

Annabel – (Former) Producer Will's girlfriend who often gets picked on by Chris for being ginger, though Aled thinks she's fit. She and Will have been going out for 3 or 4 years, and they live in different counties.



B IS FOR…

BB Aled - The artist also known as plain old Aled first made a niche for himself on the Moyles show with his trainspotter style Big Brother knowledge. Appearances on Big Brothers Little Brother and his legendary press conference antics have led to a BB Aled taking on a life of his own.

Baldie Greg – He used to work on the Saturday Show and apart from being reasonably sure he has little hair there is little else to say about him.

Boys Going Shopping – A Saturday show feature that did exactly what it said on the tin. Often excuses would be offered to avoid said shopping.

Big Blubber - The team's weekly update on their fitness regime. Big Blubber was the team's new year resolution for 2001 and amazingly they all stuck to it. Chris since has lost over 3 stone and ran the Great North Run in 2 hours, bleeding nipples and all.

Bonnie - Bonnie used to be a dancer at Stringfellows. After splitting with Ana, Chris was complaining about being single and Bonnie phoned up and asked him out. They arranged a date and went out once with a load of Chris's friends, as he was too scared to go alone. A few months later Bonnie (who had 'left' her job and coming up to Christmas, not that we are insinuating anything) sold her story to The News of the World. You can see that story in The Archive. Chris never confirmed or denied 'sleeping' with her.

Ben - Producer of the show before Rhys. A team member during “the good old days”.



C IS FOR…

Comedy Dave – Moyles's “other half” and key element in making the show what it is. Dave was born in Hong Kong and is a big fan of the greatest football team on Earth (Everton if it isn't clear). Dave is the head writer (obviously a busy job) on the show and a Comedy Genius. He's not very romantic, he once gave his wife Emma an ironing board for her birthday and was drunk when he proposed to her, but at least he tries.

Caroake - One of the countless games to be on the show. The team got people to phone up if they were stuck in traffic and take it in turns to sing along (badly) to a song.

Crapital – Moyles worked there for a period before Radio 1 but was obviously overshadowed by the wealth of talent there.



D IS FOR…

Dale Winton – A fan of the show and regular guest he is surprisingly funny and always good to have on.

David the Photographer – Mad as a bee with a boil on its bum David turns up occasionally on the phone to lighten up the darkest day. Then disappears again… for months

'Dorothy' - Aled's boyfriend (Friend of Dorothy's - get it?). His real names Scott and he's a policeman. Also referred to on the radio show as 'The wife and kid'.



E IS FOR…

Emma – Comedy Dave's wife. She's about 24 and is well known for talking in a high-pitched, girlie voice and giving Dave nick-names such as 'My Little Soldier', 'Angel Man' and 'Hotrod'. She also refuses to listen to the show at work as it's embarrassing, and has Chris's archenemy Dr Fox on instead, much to his annoyance. Dave was surprisingly the first member of the team to marry in August 2003, though he was most annoyed that the wedding clashed with an Everton game.

Everton – The greatest football team on Earth is supported by Comedy Dave and regularly feature on the show.



F IS FOR…

FA Aled – Perhaps the most interesting thing about Fame Academy ? Maybe not. The TV show was a flop and the FA Aled character was a lot less regular on the Moyles show. It did, however, lead to funnier moments as the team showed their (lack of) interest in the show.



G IS FOR…

Greyhound / Greyhead – Producer Will's nickname(s) depending on whether you are a member of Busted (the former) or a member of the Moyles team (the latter).

Girls Going to Football – Once again a self-explanatory title. Girls were asked to give predictions on football and Comedy Dave would then give his opinion.

Ghettolife - Chris and Dave's boyband who got dropped before they were even signed. They're single was 'You're My Baby' and can be found in the Sound Vault, complete with a rap from 'choc-ice', Dave's alter-ego and Warrington's number one rapper (now J from Five has retired). They found a record company that thought the idea was really good and were going to sign them... until they actually heard the song.



H IS FOR…

Hello, I'm Listening – A game so simple yet hugely entertaining it came in two forms. The original involved Moyles and team ringing their friends (and showbiz pals) to see if they were in fact listening to the show. Later on a much duller version involving the great unwashed was launched as a competition.

Helen Legh - Chris's girlfriend before Ana. She works for GTW radio, which is where she and Chris met. As far as we know she was his first serious girlfriend.

I IS FOR…

Introductory Service – Usually a member of the team or listener is pitted against Comedy Dave and his anorak knowledge of song intros.

Ibiza - There is a story about the radio one trip to Ibiza a couple of years ago that Chris teases Dave about but will never fully tell. Also in 2003 the team went out to do some dj-ing in the party isle and met DJ Sammy… wow.



J IS FOR…

Jon Culshaw – The impersonator now known as part of the Dead Ringers TV show used to be a regular on the Moyles show. Jon is originally from Ormskirk (where legends are born) and his influence can be found on some of the place names in jingles.

Jingle Justin – The Irish madman provides various features for the show often interviewing stars. They may not make any sense they are almost always funny.



K IS FOR…

Kavana – Legendary music artiste and friend of the show still one of the most fondly remembered pop stars.



L IS FOR…

Lizzie – The Southport beauty brought a female touch and a cheeky laugh to the show when she joined. Loud-mouthed and outspoken she even found time to fit in an FHM photo shoot before moving on to bigger and better things.

Live With… - The Channel 5 show produced by Chris Evans was a waste of talent and viewers lives in equal measure. Despite not doing terrible with ratings (compared to other Channel 5 shows) it was a vacuous excuse of a programme.



M IS FOR…

Melinda – Known as Melinda due to his messenger status on the show his real name was Simon. A bit of a favourite with the ladies he left the show to go to Australia .

Messageboard Mentions - This site has a thriving and very busy message board full of regulars, a lot which have received mentions or managed to get on the show. Along with plugs for chrismoyles.net, these can be found in the Sound Vault.

N IS FOR…

Newsbeat – The paid Monkeys who patronise listeners in a very unique way yet seem quite nice when Moyles talks to them. Particular favourites are Caroline Atkinson and David Garrido.



O IS FOR…

Ormskirk - Home of Jon Culshaw and mentioned a few times in jingles in reality it's a boring little town populated by morons. Nice women at the train station though.

Office Olympics – As big as any sporting event this involved various events including a spectacular run around the building. One of the funniest features for a long time.



P IS FOR…

Penk – Yup that plastic fella off TV Garbage 7 or whatever used to have Culshaw on his show. Suffice to say Moyles isn't a big fan.

Parodies – Ever popular and a great source of material for local DJs everyone has their favourites but most memorable seems to be Stanta (the team's take on Stan by Eminem).



Q IS FOR…

Queen – I want to Break Free is a popular Moyles song that he sings on the show. Not sung as regularly now as it makes his blood pressure too high. You can hear this in the Sound Vault.



R IS FOR…

Richard – Or Count Drunkula as he was also known. A Saturday show producer who never speaks on air as he used to be a crap dj (as opposed to a crap producer).



S IS FOR…

Saturday – The Saturday version of the Moyles show used to be a great way to start the weekend proper. Often performed under a haze of booze it regularly had star guests and new games including the start of the legendary “Hello, I'm Listening”.

Stringfellows - Dave claims Chris has his own table at Stringfellows, and while I doubt this is true, it's certainly been a favourite place of Chris's over the years.

Sophie Waite - Sophie has been 'seeing' Chris since the end of April 2002, and officially going out with him since September of the same year. All we know about her is she's a researcher for Top of the Pops, supports Arsenal and we think she's 26.



T IS FOR…

Tedious Links – Popular feature involving entirely random (and often rubbish) links between records… “where the link goes… nobody knows”. Presided over by Comedy Dave it is NOT just an excuse to play his favourite records.



U IS FOR…

Undercrackers – Surely the next word to enter the English language.



V IS FOR…

Viaduct – The legendary game involving answering the question you are given with the answer to the previous one is a love-hate thing. Many welcomed its return under the guise of Viaduct – The Revenge while others despaired at the return of the old war-horse.



W IS FOR…

Will – The producer of the show following on from Rhys he worked with Zoe Ball and then Sara Cox. Will played an active role in the show and was immortalised in the game “Bang Will's head against the studio window”.

Who's in the Doghouse? – Sung to the tune of Who let the dogs out? By the Baha Men this was a Saturday show feature where blokes rung in and were offered help with their problems.



X IS FOR…

X-rated - Charlotte Church - Possibly Chris's most famous complaint, on Charlotte 's 16th birthday Chris did a link offering to take her virginity. Despite the complaints being upheld and Chris having to apologise, a nervous Miss Church agreed to be interviewed on the show a year later. A full transcript of this can be found in the Show Reviews archive for January 17th 2003.



Y IS FOR…

You Know – The most regular phrase heard of the show, you know?



Z IS FOR…

Zero – The number of people who watched Live with… Chris Moyles or the number who liked it? One of the two.
Name the game!

That's it, thanks and sorry for the dumb question!

'Trump' is now in the vault: http://chrismoyles.n[…]