The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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Playlist

1: Kanye West – Diamonds From Sierra Leone, 2: Audio Bullys – Shot You Down, 3: Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out, 4: Joss Stone – Don’tcha Wanna Ride, 5: Martin Solveig – Everybody, 6: Good Charlotte – Girls And Boys, 7: Justin Timberlake – Rock Your Body, 8: The Game – Higher, 9: Kaiser Chiefs – I Predict A Riot, 10: Ms Dynamite – Dy-na-mi-tee, 11: Daniel Powter – Bad Day, 12: Studio B – I See Girls, 13: Akon – Bananza (Belly Dancer), 14: Evanescence – Bring Me To Life, 15: Roll Deep - The Avenue, 16: The Cure - Love Cats (tedious), 17: The Magic Numbers – Love Me Like You, 18: Uniting Nations – You And Me, 19: Blackeyed Peas – Don’t Lie, 20: Natalie Imbruglia – Counting Down The Days, 21: Jamiroquai – Seven Days In Sunny June

Last Night’s Big Brother

Who knew that Kinga the minger (“a lovely, warm, kind-hearted… slut”) planted a wine bottle in the lady garden last night on national TV?! What an absolute beast. Rachel evidently found it quite disturbing. Chris has it on Sky Plus, which may provide him with, ooh, minutes of excitement, when he gets round to watching it.

Continuing with the Big Brother theme, Chris does a really rather good impression of Eugene reeling out on of his boring anecdotes, and Dominic does a good Anthony, so to speak.

Boobs

Chris mentioned an article in some form of celebrity magazine thing, which featured a selection of famous birds with their boobs out (to which the magazine remarked “put them away love” and a selection of other famous birds with their boobs covered up (to which the magazine remarked “show us your tits” or something similar). The discussion then moved on to fake boobs and how long they last, culminating in a debate on whether Rachel and Chris should have bronzes of their bosoms made, to give out to male and female prizewinners respectively.

The theme of nudity continued throughout the show, with Chris suggesting to Rachel that she ought to just let him and Dave do their dream feature “Hot women that we fancy, with nothing on”, mainly involving nudey ladies standing in the corner of the studio for no real reason.

Being in the “24” computer game

Another day of choosing people, on the basis of a 24-word personal statement, to have themselves made into little pixillated things to go in the “24” computer game.

Today the team chose a girl who professed to have a “grabbable bum” and a man who admitted to being “ugly”, but made a point of saying that he owned all the requisite parts of the face, and isn’t fat.

More amusing were the team’s comments about the people they were turning down, including the woman who said that she was “extremely funny” (according to Dave, a woman making such a claim means that she’s either ugly, or irritating, or both) and had been “mistaken for Donna Air twice” (to which Chris said “that’s nothing to be proud of is it, being mistaken for that ditsy cow… hiya Donna”).

It’s always good for the team to have a chance to display their incredulity at the sheer geekiness and lameness of their listeners. Ha ha, aren’t Chris Moyles Show listeners an absolute bunch of social inadequates! Oh, er…

Car Park Catchphrase

Michael the criminal lawyer from Moseley vs. Alan the sales rep from Glasgow. Today’s CPC was notable mainly for Chris’s amusing impression of Cameron from Big Brother and Alan’s gay little horn. Alan got “thick as thieves” and “spring chicken” and it was fairly boring. But Chris was nice to Alan, which was sweet.

Otherwise

Chris on lesbians: “They’re called mmphrmm-mm (general mumbling), that’s what they call it in the business. They’re like gays, but women”.

Chris on “You are What You Eat” – “I refuse to watch other people’s insides”.

As part of Chris’s comedy pretend celebrity news report thingy: “The Jury’s out on new Big Brother housemate Judy Finnegan – Kemal says ‘she’ll do very well, she seems like a lovely girl’”. Well, I thought it was funny. Judy Finnegan! In the Big Brother house! Oh go on, it’s a bit funny. Oh, alright then, it’s not.

Chris on that new Akon drivel: “Before I play this next song I’d like to point out I don’t go to the playlist meeting”. Bit rich that, given that he went on to play bloody Evanescence after that, like it’s 2003 all over again and we’re all trotting around looking like a poor man’s Kate Bush and being unnecessarily emotional about stuff. But to their credit, he and Dave did go on to be amusingly derisive about the record (Dave: “Wicked.”), so that’s OK then. And then they played The Cure for tedious link! So that cancels out the impact of most musical badness for, ooh, the next year or something.

Tuesday show is up