The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#242107
1. Christina Augilara - Dirrrty 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Razorlight - Somewhere Else 3. Michael Gray - The Weekend 4. Rachel Stevens - Negotiate With Love 5. Embrace - Gravity 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. U2 - Beautiful Day 7. Chemical Brothers - Galvanise 8. Destiny's Child - Girl 9. Freeloaders ft.The Real Thing - So Much Love To Give 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Kasabien - Club Foot 11. Armen VanHelden - My, My, My 12. Mariah Carey - Its Like That 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. The Killers - Mr.Brightside 14. Mario - Let Me Love You 15. Scissor Sisters - Take Your Mamma 16. Oasis - Rock'n'Roll Star (Tedious Link) 17. Kylie Minogue - Giving You Up 18. Caesars -Jerk It Out 19. Basement Jaxx - Oh My Gosh 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Black Eyed Peas - Lets Get It Started 21. Phantom Planet - California 22. Deepdish - Flashdance

Illness sweeps 'The Chris Moyles Show' yet again, particularly with Chris, who claims he has similar symptoms to whooping cough. He thought he was coughing up blood at one point, but that was infact just his naan bread that he'd had for his tea. To add to the problems, Chris got a text from Rachel last night claiming that neither she, nor Aled, were feeling to great and wouldn't be coming in today. She asked how Chris was feeling and he replied quite simply that he "feels like crap, but [he'll] still be in - Lazy Cow". Will and Joce are in to replace Rachel and Aled respectively in what Dave christened a "Jones-less show".

More Illness, Get Shorty and King of Tickets

Chris must be really sick at the moment, as he revealed today that he's so under the weather that he doesn't even fancy going down to the pub for a pint - an excuse to call Dr.Mark if ever there was one. The team reckon it's due to a number of reasons, probably due to the "un-natural" hour that they all get up to do the show, unlike Pete Tong who only does his show once a week. Even if Tongy did get sick, Dom suggests that he just plays a 2 hour-long mix and has a nice lie down. Unfortunately Chris doesn't have that pleasure…

Chris: Coming up next 10 Songs in a row
Dom: We do it every day!
Dave: We could do the 7 at 7, the 8 at 8 and the 9 at 9 though


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There were a few text messages complaining that Chris was talking about himself too much - especially when regarding his illness. He replied to these moaners by saying that you know what you get by tuning in i.e. Chris talks about himself, and he's build his own career out of it. Those listeners would feel alienated if the team started talking about their own personal friends. To be honest I agree with the team, they really have no basis to complain. Like they say "Chris Moyles on Radio 1 - If you don't like it, go back to bed".

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Chris watched 'Get Shorty' on TV last night - starring show favourite John Travolta. Chris said it was annoying as they kept editing out lines, and when you know a film as well as he knows 'Get Shorty' it can get frustrating. Not as frustrating as when films with a lot of "effing and jeffing" (as Dom calls them) are edited during the daytime. Such as in Beverly Hills Cop when the chief tells someone to "get their behind into his office, or he'll give you a p45 and fire you" - when clearly the real dialogue is more risqué.

Chris: You know what? I hate it when they change the dialogue in films. It really gets on my [clear change of pace] threepennies

In preparation for the last ever whattitty what (report below folks), Chris, Dave and Will talked about how this particular feature was ahead of it's time and the listeners weren't ready (although if you ask me, and I know none of you did, then I would say that the listeners were ready 20/30 years ago and it's bad luck the team came along in a period where Blankety Blank has been off the air for a few years and people don't want a substandard parody in a usually groundbreaking national breakfast show), much like the listeners weren't ready for the King of Tickets. Although in fairness most people did like that feature - it was just Chris who didn't and sadly killed it off in it's prime.

This prompted Dave to get back into his king-like role, although he couldn't quite do it as he started each sentence with "Ho, Ho, Ho". Of course that's more like Santa Clause than a king, which Chris implied was the main downfall of the feature - since Dave couldn't sound like a King, the whole feature lost substance.

Chris: Doug has text in "It was crap and you know it"
Dave: "Bring Back King Of Tickets"
Chris: [Shocked] Who says that?
Dave: They haven't left their name
[Chris and Will Laugh]


If you want to listen to the original King of Tickets feature, then you can download it from the sound vault in 2 parts here and here. It's hilarious, and if you haven't heard it before, it's defiantly worth a listen.

The Last Ever Whattitty What

This is it folks, the one you've been waiting for - the end of Radio's "greatest" (?) quiz. This week with special guests Will - who didn't even know how to play - and King of Tickets. Alan took on Andy (who was privileged to be there on this special occasion) and Alan got through to the 'Super What Final' and chose the King himself to win him the prizes. Luckily the King pulled through and won. In all fairness it was a good edition this week - unfortunately it was only because it was the last one and Will was there. So luckily it was right to end it now. Whattitty What down, Rob DJ's Pub Quiz left to go…

24 Quiz

More quiz action - never really got into 24 so this didn't really interest me. For the record Simone took on James, where Chris read some facts and the contestants had to answer some hard questions about them. James got through to the final - find out who wins on tomorrow's show.

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Tedious Link

Air 'Kelly Watch The Stars' - Air are musical in French and in that respect share something in common with Daft Punk - the dad of one of the guys in Daft Punk was in the band autoem (?) who's most famous hit was the song "D.I.S.C.O." which reached number 2 in 1980, the same year in which Estelle was born - "Born in the USA" was a big hit for Bruce Springsteen who was nicknamed "The Boss" - Boss Hogg was a baddie in 'The Dukes of Hazard' - 'Hazard' was the title of a track by Richard Marx - Richard Marx shares the same surname as both Groucho Marx and Karl Marx, who was a driving force in the rise of communism - communism is still popular in South Korea - South Korea eat dog - dog rhymes with nog which when paired with egg makes the name of a popular yuletide drink - drink lots of water is good advice if you're planning to spend the day out in the sunshine - "You can wait for a lifetime to live your life in the sunshine" is a lyric from Cigarettes and Alcohol taken from the album 'Defiantly Maybe' and like most good albums starts with track one and in this case it's 'Rock'n'Roll Star' - which links us to Oasis 'Rock'n'Roll Star'

I have ballsed that up a bit in places, so take a look at MC's Tedious Link Page for regularly update accurate Tedious Link Info

Carpark Catchprase

Jason from Rochester (2) beat
AJ from North Wales (1)

Moyles Extra

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The plan to beat 'The Archers' on Listen Again returned for another 20 minutes of un-scripted hilarity. It started off by the team not knowing if they'd started taping or not - but Wills said it was too expensive to start again - a great start. Who gives you Extra? Moyles Does - as well as Howard from the Halifax adverts, who Dave thought he'd seen the other day, but hadn't in the end up. That would have made a storming Guess Who. Naturally this lead to comparisons with Trevor McDonald and how tall he is. Dom said he always thought he was small, but saw him on Ant and Dec (renowned for being the tallest pairing in showbiz) last week and was about the same size as them, therefore he couldn't be small.

After the successful return of King of Tickets, there was discussion of also bringing back another popular feature, for Listen Again only - 'Fire At Will'. Will wasn't up for it, because of obvious health and safety reasons. However Chris said that shouldn't be an issue as Will was wearing a helmet during the original feature. When this fell down there was another phone game, called ring the sick celeb - pretty self explanatory where they just ring up a celeb who, like Chris, is sick and the team have to guess who it is. Quite a hard one today - that's right it's Chris Moyles own Aled. Will was having none of this sick business though; claiming that Aled had a rubbish "Sick Voice" and he had nothing at all wrong with him. In fairness he did sound quite ill (even if his cough wasn't too raspy), but he says he'll be ok for tomorrow's final show before the two-week break. Dave says he isn't too keen on the idea, as then Aled will infect them all before they go off on holiday.

Following this there was a bit of a boring chat about rollercoasters - however it did get slightly entertaining when Will commented that a group of Drag Queens all went on a coaster recently to attempt some kind of world record. Dave was concerned that this would cause many of the hairpieces to fall off, which I must say is a genuine concern when considering themepark safety. Like the house of ideas that they are, there was another great feature to come out of this portion of the link, called "Guess which member of Radio 1 staff is obsessed with Lady-boys".

The now traditional daily Longman ringing, and today he was asked if he knew someone called Rita (No) and had he ever been with a Drag Queen (He's been for dinner with three, all at the same - Pork Insider for pudding!).

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To finish off, Dr. Mark was the last guest on today's extra for a quick look at Chris's illness. The initial diagnosis is that he just has a cold, and it's not a chest infection at all - which Dave seems pleased with in an "I told you so" sort of way. Always prepared, the good Doctor had some treatments for Chris,

Dr.Mark: I Stopped in the chemists on the way in, here are some medicines.
Chris: Viagra? Are you having a laugh?
[Everyone Laughs]
Chris: Tampon? What's that?
Dr.Mark: She didn't know what I was asking for, she couldn't understand my accent.


The team wondered if Chris needed the special kind of coughing test, where the Doctor holds your nether regions while you cough. Dave remembers when he had this test at school, although it was a bit confusing at it was the nit nurse who did it for him, when he was getting his tonsils out. Mark also had time to play Celebrity Guess Who - once again it was Mr. Will Young who answered the phone with "This better not be Chris Moyles". Hopefully he'll learn his lesson and change his number before tomorrow's extra.

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Since this is my last review until the team return from the two week break, I'd just like to say a couple of things. Firstly well done to Chris and all the team for doing some great shows this year so far, hopefully they'll keep it up right through to the end of the year and beyond. Also I'd just like to say farewell to Steve, who's done the Friday reviews for the past few months. He's done a great job, and at one time was the only person regularly doing his review. Well done to him, I know it's no mean feat to write these every week, so thanks very much for putting in so much work and you will be missed here on the reviews page!

<a href="http://chris.polymathic.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=9257">>Thursday 31st March - What did you think of this show/review. Post your comments here<</a>
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