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Tedious Moments To Remember #3 [Posted Wednesday, September 27 2006 by MC_] Now for the third in our weekly look back at classic Tedious Link moments from the past four years. These will be posted here each weekend after the weeks Tedious Links have been updated. This week we're going way back in time to 2003, Wednesday August 20th 2003 to be exact. Dave alleges that horse is a “delicacy eaten by the French” in his link - but Chris and Producer Will take issue. Moyles even rings up himself to confirm his suspicious. Classic, much-missed afternoon radio!  Friday 22nd September 2006 [Posted Wednesday, September 27 2006 by MC_]  Doves Caught By The River - Doves tend to be white and are a symbol of peace - “Peace (In The Valley)” was a big hit years ago for Rozalla - Rozalla was from Zimbabwe I think, which used to be called “Rhodesia” and is also where Bruce Grobbelaar is from - Bruce Grobbelaar now lives in, or near, Rothwell in Leeds, which is where Longman makes his sandwiches - Sandwiches are named after the town of “Sandwich” in Kent, because it was the Earl Of Sandwich who lived in Sandwich, and first invented sandwiches, which he named after himself and the town presumably - Sandwiches are the sort of thing you might find in a picnic - Picnics normally require the use of a hamper - “Hamper” rhymes with “scamper”, which is what a small rabbit might do across a summer meadow - The plural of “meadow” is “meadows”, which need to be mown - Moan of a different type is something you’d do if you weren’t happy, which is quite the opposite of how the people were at our karaoke evening last night, when they all had a right royal hoot - It wasn’t just good, it was great, and if I’d have been one of the lucky punters lucky enough to have been there last night, I’d have probably described the evening as ‘super” and “unbelievable” - Which links us to EMF and Unbelievable. *”Peace (In The Valley)” was by Sabrina Johnston, not Rozalla. *Rabbits hop rather than scamper. *Also sandwiches weren’t invented by the Earl Of Sandwich - that was rollocks. Highest UK Chart Position - #3 (MC) Thursday 21st September 2006 [Posted Wednesday, September 27 2006 by MC_]  Leftfield Open Up - “Open up” is something you might have to do if you were visiting a psychiatrist - A psychiatrist is also sometimes known as a “shrink” - Shrink is what might happen to your clothes if you don’t wash them properly, or leave them in the dryer too long - Long is the opposite of short, and the words “long” and “short” can be applied to the length of a ladies’ skirt - “Skirt” is what Dominic Byrne calls girls - ”Girls Girls Girls” was a big hit for Mötley Crüe, who feature Tommy Lee on drums - Tommy Lee used to be married to Pamela Anderson, who’s now with Kid Rock - Rock of a different type is the area of study for a geologist - Geologists study “Geology”, which is a subject you can do if you’re at university - “At university” is quite literally where we’re gonna be tonight, in the Chris Moyles Show Karaoke extravaganza at the University Of The West Of England in the host city of Bristol - Bristol is situated on the River Seven - and if you were on the run from the police in Bristol, and had been hiding by the river, and were then “caught by the police” while you were hiding there “by the river”, I’d suppose that you’d say that you’d be quite literally “caught by the river” - Which links us cleverly to Doves and Caught By The River. There was a big debate on whether or not Bristol was situated was on the River Seven, or Avon - something I myself was pulled up on the other week. Check the top sub-forum on the boards and click on the Bristol thread. Rachel backed up Dave, although Moyles was less convinced and called a text poll. It was then I lost interest. Highest UK Chart Position - #29 (MC) Wednesday 20th September 2006 [Posted Wednesday, September 27 2006 by MC_]  The Beatles Let It Be - The Beatles are from Liverpool, as are Jimmy Tarbuck and Cilla Black - Cilla Black’s real name isn’t actually “Black”, but is in fact “White” - ”Black Or White” was a hit for Michael Jackson, who enjoys theme parks and the company of children - ”Children” was a 1996 hit for Robert Miles - “Robert Miles” shares one name in common with “Miles Davis”, who in turn shares one name in common with “Carrie Davis”, who’s from the West Country, like The Wurzels - The Wurzels’ most famous musical offering was a song themed around a combine harvester - “Harvester” is also the name of a chain of restaurants whose adverts used to feature the track ”Harvest For The World” by The Christians - The Christians were involved in the crusades in the olden days, when they used a trojan horse to break down the barriers of the non believers - ”Believe” was a number one hit in 1998 for Cher, who used to be the other half of Sonny Bono - The name “Bono” is spelt the same as “Bono”, who’s the lead singer of U2 and an Irishman from an Irish family - and another famous frontman from an Irish family is John Lydon, who used to be Johnny Rotten and is now John Lydon again, who also used to front Leftfield - Which links us predictably to Leftfield and Open Up. Just the one big one today - the Trojan horse had nothing do with the Crusades at all, that was the Greeks. Some texters commented that Dave's history was as good as his Maths. i.e. sh*t. Highest UK Chart Position - #13 (MC) Tuesday 19th September 2006 [Posted Tuesday, September 26 2006 by MC_]  Dream Warriors My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style - The Dream Warriors were a bit of a two hit wonder back in the year 1990, with their other offering being their top 16 chart smash ”Wash Your Face In My Sink” - “Sink” is what you hope won’t happen to you if you’re in a boat - A boat is what you should be in if you’re out shark fishing - Sharks can grow to the size of a family hatchback, with several rows of razor sharp teeth - Sharp teeth are also what make lions and tigers scary, which is why it’s best to see them when they’re safely locked up in a zoo - “Zoo” rhymes with “moo”, which is the noise you’d associate with a cow - The plural of “cow” is “cows”, and the collective term for a group of cows is a “herd” - Heard, first name Douglas used to be a Conservative MP and member of the cabinet - A cabinet of a different type is a large piece of furniture that would probably be made out of wood - Wood also used to be used to make false legs in the olden days, for pirates and stuff, whereas nowadays they use other, more advanced materials for prosthetic limbs, like the one that Heather Mills has got - Heather Mills is currently stuck in the middle of a nasty divorce from Sir Paul McCartney - Which links us cleverly to Sir Paul McCartney’s old band The Beatles and Let It Be. Highest UK Chart Position - #1 (MC) Monday 18th September 2006 [Posted Tuesday, September 26 2006 by chris]  Scissor Sisters Take Your Mama - Scissor Sisters were performing live for Radio 1 all day on Friday at our world famous Maida Vale studios in London - London is set to host the Olympics in the year 2012, having beaten off strong competition from the French - The French are famous for their food, which often contains a lot of garlic and gives you smelly breath - If you add an “E” onto the end of “breath” you get “Breathe”, which is a one word song title that links The Prodigy, Kylie Minogue and Erasure - Erasure are made up of Andy Bell and quiet keyboard type Vince Clark, who used to be in Yazoo with Alison Moyet, and also Depeche Mode before that - “Depeche Mode” is the French phrase that means “fast fashion” - Fashion is what Kate Moss does, and she also goes out with Pete Doherty - Pete Doherty shares the same initials as Paul Danan, who’s apparently doing some show with Calum Best and Fran Cosgrove, where they go on a road trip along Route 66 in America - America shares a land border with Mexico in the south and Canada in the north - and Canada is the country that’s given us many musical acts over the years, such as Bryan Adams, Alanis Morisette, Avril Lavigne and of course the Dream Warriors - Which links us to a Tedious link classic, The Dream Warriors and My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style. Highest UK Chart Position - #13 (MC) Tedious Moments To Remember #2 [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_] The second in our weekly look back at classic Tedious Link moments from the past four years. These will be posted here each weekend after the weeks Tedious Links have been updated. This week we're taking another trip back to 2004, Thursday July 8th 2004 to be exact - and Comedy Dave is a little drunk. Which leads to a rather hilarious Tedious Link. Friday 15th September 2006 (Live from Maida Vale) [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_]  Green Day Basket Case - A “basket case” is an expression for someone who’s a bit crackers - Crackers in the world of biscuits are what you serve with cheese - Cheese is made from milk and is therefore not recommended to people who suffer from a dairy allergy - The word “dairy” is an anagram of “diary”, which is a daily journal that people keep, and in the world of sailing and shipping is known as a “log” - “Log” is a word also associated with computers, as in the instructions ”log on” or ”log off”, and is of course also synomonous with the world of lumberjacks, who chop trees into logs, which you then put in your fire - Fire can result in smoke, which gets in your eyes - ”In Your Eyes” was a 2002 hit for Kylie Minogue, and a different ”In Your Eyes” was a hit nineteen years earlier for the late George Benson - ”Benson” was the title of an early 80’s American sitcom about Benson DuBois, who was a funny butler for a wealthy family, who lived somewhere like New York, I think - New York is where the Scissor Sisters are from, and they’re our very special guests all day today on Radio 1, live at our world famous Maida Vale studios, where they’ll be performing live tracks all day - Which links us to a Tedious Link special, live from Maida Vale, Scissor Sisters and Take Your Mama How does he do it eh? The MAJOR flaw in today’s link was the fact that George Benson isn’t dead, and is very much alive and kicking. So much so that he played in Jersey on Saturday. Vitty said he had him confused with Luther Vandross, and apologised to Mr Benson and his family for this gross inaccuracy. Chris rightly pointed out that it’s not the first time he’s made such an error - scroll down to last weeks “Tedious Moment To Remember” for more. Also, ”Benson” technically began in 1979 (not the early 80’s), but that’s just me being an arse. Highest UK Chart Position - #17 (MC) Thursday 14th September 2006 [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_]  David Bowie Heroes - “Heroes” is how you might describe the Everton players after last Saturday’s 3-0 derby demolition of hapless Liverpool - Liverpool are managed by Rafael Beneath-us, who like much of their under performing foreign stars, is from Spain - Spain is the only country that borders Portugal - and Portugal, or “Madeira” I think to be precise, is where Nelly Furtado’s parents are from - Nelly Furtado’s current album is called ”Loose” - “Loose” is the opposite of “tight”, like ”Tight Fit”, who scored a number one hit in 1982 with ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” - “Sleeping Lions” is the name of a good game to play with children - ”Children” was a 1996 hit for Robert Miles, who’s from Italy - Italy is where the Romans were from - and it was the Romans who had a lot to do with civilization and the invention of stuff like straight roads, months, calendars, central heating, education, aqueducts, swimming baths and concrete - Concrete starts of soft, and then goes hard, and in that respect has something in common with ice magic and bread - and bread in restaurants is often served in a “basket” - Which links us to Green Day and Basket Case. Lots of abuse from Liverpool fans for Blue-nose Dave, and his stupidly biased link. Nobody picked up on his grammatical error though - ”much of their under performing foreign stars” should really be ”many of their under performing foreign stars”. Highest UK Chart Position - #7 (MC) Wednesday 13th September 2006 [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_]  Coldplay Shiver – "Shiver" is what you do either if you are really cold or if you're ill with a fever – "Fever" was the title of a 1993 hit for Madonna – Madonna is married to Guy Richie, who directed "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", as well as "Snatch", both of which starred Vinnie Jones – Vinnie Jones used to play football for Wimbledon FC – Wimbledon is also somewhere which is well known for dog racing and tennis – Tennis is associated with strawberries, which are sold in a punnet – "Punnet" almost rhymes with "bonnet", which can be found on a car and in America is known as a "hood" – "Hood" rhymes with "wood", which is where you would find lots of trees, birds and squirrels – Squirrels have big bushy tails and like to eat nuts – Nuts can be a major life threatening hazard if you have a nut allergy, and this is why they don't serve them as snacks on aeroplanes anymore – Other things that aren't allowed on planes anymore include fireworks and knives - and famous knives include the "bowie knife" - Which links us to David Bowie and Heroes. Some people didn't believe Vinnie Jones was in Snatch - he was "Bullet-tooth Tony" of course (although the team did have to look it up). Joel off of JK and Joel, as well as loads of other texters, said he had been served nuts recently on a plane, but Dave and Chris seemingly hadn't. Must just be a change implemented in first class then eh? Highest UK Chart Position - #24 (Fish heads/MC) Tuesday 12th September 2006 [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_]  The Soup Dragons I'm Free – "I'm Free" was probably the first thing Nelson Mandela said when he was released in 1990 - Other things to be released in1990 included the single "Opposites Attract" by Paula Abdul, also "Days Of Thunder" with Tom Cruise – Tom Cruise also starred in the film "Risky Business", where Tom played a character that had to get his parents house back in one piece after they came back from their holiday, which had a similar plot to that Yellow Pages ad where the bloke needs a French polisher and right at the end finds out one of the paintings has still got a moustache on it – A moustache is something that both Tom Selleck and Brandon from The Killers have in common – The Killers played an exclusive gig for Radio 1 last Friday in Blackpool – Blackpool is somewhere famous for its tower, as is Piza in Italy and of course Paris in France – As well as being the capital of France, "Paris" is also the imaginative title of the debut album from Paris Hilton – Paris Hilton's dad owns chains of hotels worldwide - and hotels are what you might stay in if you are not at home and on the road like an international rock band like Coldplay - Which links us to Coldplay and Shiver. The team didn't bother as they were a bit far behind, and it seems to be flawless today anyway. I would like to thank Chris and Will Ferrell for speaking all over the link though (even if it was to advertise "Talladega Nights", out at all good cinemas now), making it rather hard to transcribe. Highest UK Chart Position - #35 (Fish heads/MC) Monday 11th September 2006 [Posted Friday, September 15 2006 by MC_]  The Shamen Move Any Mountain – A "mountain" is how you would describe Ben Nevis, Mount Fiji or K2 – If you add 7 to K2 then you get K9, which is a robotic dog in Doctor Who – The new series of Doctor Who will star Radio 1's own Reggie Yates – Reggie Yates is the radio husband of Fearne Cotton, who has just come back from Love Island where she was working with Patrick Kielty – Patrick Kielty shares the same initials as Peter Kay, who is from Bolton, as are Vernon Kay and Sara Cox – "Cox" is a word associated with apples – Apples are what Sir Isaac Newton used to test his Theory Of Relativity and Gravity – "Gravity" was the name of the comeback single by Embrace a couple of years ago, and was penned by Chris Martin from Coldplay – "Cold" is how Rafael Benitez, Steven Gerrard and the rest of the Liverpool flops must have felt after they were comprehensively beaten 3-0 at Goodison Park on Saturday with top Premiership striker Andy Johnson netting twice to send Everton to the top - and if you remove the first letter of top and replace it with an "S" and an additional "U" you get "soup", as in The Soup Dragons - Which links us to The Soup Dragons and I'm Free. The first and most obvious quibble today was regarding the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and Einstein. Newton discovered gravity, and was nothing to do with the Theory Of Relativity, which Einstein went and made up. Also someone pointed out that Bobby Zamora at West Ham is now joint top scorer in the Premiership after yesterday, although Dave was right that at the time Johnson was technically top. The soup link was also wrong, as although Dave had all the right letters in "Suop", he didn't have them in the right order. Highest UK Chart Position - #5 (Fish heads/MC) Tedious Moments To Remember #1 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_] The first in our weekly look back at classic Tedious Link moments from the past four years. These will be posted here each weekend after the weeks Tedious Links have been updated. We start with arguably the greatest ever flaw in a Tedious Link, while Dave and the team are in Portugal broadcasting from Euro 2004. The following link is from Monday June 21st 2004 - is Don McLean really dead? Friday 8th September 2006 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_]  Ash Girl From Mars - Ash are from Northern Ireland, as are Colin Murray and Snow Patrol - Snow Patrol are fronted by singer/songwriter Gary Lightbody - A "light body" is what Victoria Beckham has got at the moment - Victoria Beckham likes to wear sunglasses a lot, as does Bono from U2 - Bono from U2 is not very tall, in fact he's quite short - Shortbread is a nice, sweet biscuity thing and shouldn't be mistaken for "sweetbreads", which I think are like horrible offal and gonads and stuff - If you lose one of the F's from "offal" and then re arrange the remaining letters in a Countdown sort of way, you get the four letter word "foal", which is a baby horse - Baby horses fall over a lot when they're first born, as they try and get used to their long, thin, gangly legs - "Legs" was a big hit for ZZ Top, who are famous for their long beards - Beards were also popular in biblical times, with Jesus and I think Samson and probably Moses as well, all sporting big bushy beards - Jesus was able to turn loaves into fish and water into wine, Moses parted the sea, and Samson's long hair gave him extraordinary strength, which enabled him to wrestle lions with his bare hands, tear down buildings and probably even "move any mountain" - Which links us to The Shamen and Move Any Mountain. Yep - Dave couldn't clarify (upon questioning) that Samson and Moses definitely had beards, but he said they were "definitely hairy". Also, Jesus didn't turn loaves into fish apparently. At the risk of offending the religious ones amongst you, who actually cares. Highest UK Chart Position - #4 (MC) Thursday 7th September 2006 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_]  Zoe Sunshine On A Rainy Day - If you know anybody called ”Zoe”, the chances are she’ll be the last name in your phonebook - Your phonebook is where you store numbers - Numbers are central to the business of arithmetic, which comes under the general heading of “Maths” - Maths is a compulsory subject at GCSE level, along with English and I think maybe even French - French is spoken throughout France and even in parts of Canada and across much of North Africa - North Africa is where you’d find Morocco, which was the setting for the classic film ”Casablanca” - ”Casablanca” literally translated means “White House” - The White House is where George W Bush hangs out - George Bush shares the same surname as Kate Bush, who had hits years ago with ”Running Up That Hill” and of course ”Wuthering Heights” - ”Wuthering Heights” is also the title of a book by Emily Brontë, who was from Bradford, or round there somewhere, a bit like Tasmin Archer and Terrorvision - Terrorvision had a top 22 hit in 1995 with ”Some People Say” - and 1995 was also the year that Ash first burst onto the scene with their debut single ”Girl From Mars” - Which links us to Ash and Girl From Mars. A few - French isn't compulsory at GCSE anymore, ”Girl From Mars” wasn’t Ash’s first single - that was ”Kung Fu” and Emily Brontë was born in Thornton, Yorkshire - not Bradford, nor Haworth (which Dave corrected himself by saying). Highest UK Chart Position - #11 (MC) Wednesday 6th September 2006 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_]  Beck Loser - Beck, first name Mikkel is a striker who used to play for Middlesbrough - Middlesbrough is situated on the River Tees - T's are what you have to cross when you dot your I's - "Eyes Without A Face" was a big hit for Billy Idol - Billy Idol shares the same surname (albeit phonetically) as Eric Idle, who was in Monty Python - A python is a type of large snake - The plural of "snake" is "snakes", as in "Snakes On A Plane", a current movie starring Samuel L. Jackson - Samuel L. Jackson is famous for wearing a flat cap backwards, as is Ben Volpeliere-Pierrot from Curiosity Killed The Cat - The plural of "cat" is "cats", which like to catch mice - Mice like to eat cheese - "Cheese!" is what a photographer might say to you when you are posing for a picture at a wedding - and if you were working as a photographer on a rainy day perhaps, you would be hoping for a spot of sunshine - Which links us to Zoe and Sunshine On A Rainy Day. Highest UK Chart Position - #4 (Fish heads/MC) Tuesday 5th September 2006 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_]  S-Express Theme from S Express - If you remove the "press" from "S-Express" you get "Essex", the county which gave us Denise Van Outen - Denise Van Outen is doing the rounds at the moment having been a guest on both the new shows of Charlotte Church and Sharon Osbourne - Sharon Osbourne is married to Ozzy Sharon Osbourne, who once famously bit the head off a bat - "Bat Out Of Hell" was a big hit for Meatloaf, who recently took part in "Celebrity All Star Golf", which was hosted by Ant and Dec - Ant and Dec support Newcastle United, who are nicknamed the Magpies - Magpies tend to be seen in pairs and in that respect share something in common with swans - All the swans in the UK belong to the Queen and that's why it's illegal to eat any of them - The Queen also owns all of the parks and prisons as well - Prisons are somewhere where it is illegal to show home videos, as are schools and oil rigs - If you work on an oil rig I would imagine you would enjoy returning home once in a while and coming back - If you swap the A in "back" for an E then you get Beck - Which links us to Beck and Loser. There were lots of flaws on the text, but Dave couldn't understand most of them and deemed them "inadmissible". Chris pointed out that the press/Essex link doesn't work at all in actual spelling. It turns out Dave was working phonetically and even then it doesn't work fully. Also I personally take issue that home videos aren't illegal in schools and oil rigs, Dave is thinking of the warning appearing on commercially available DVDs. Highest UK Chart Position - #15 (Fish heads/MC) Monday 4th September 2006 [Posted Saturday, September 9 2006 by MC_]  Daft Punk Digital Love - Daft Punk are from France which is famous for its revolution - "Revolution" is a title of a track by The Beatles - The only two surviving members of The Beatles are Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr - Ringo Starr's son Zak Starkey is also a drummer and has played with Oasis, who are from Manchester, as is Max Beesley who stars in the BBC One series "Hotel Babylon" - Babylon Zoo was a short lived Asian Black Country outfit who scored a number one hit in January 1996 with "Spaceman" - A spaceman is how you might describe Neil Armstrong - Neil Armstrong shares the same last name as Chris Armstrong, who has played for Crystal Palace and Spurs - Spurs will no doubt still be licking their wounds after playing Everton last week - Week is apparently a long time in politics - Politics is what Tony Blair is into - Tony Blair took over from John Major who was in power with the Conservatives, when he in turn took over from Margaret Thatcher in the year 1990 - and you only have to go back two years from 1990 to reach the year 1988, when lots of good music was released, such as the number one from S-Express titled "Theme from S Express" - Which links us to S-Express and Theme from S Express. 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