Friday 30th April 2004 [Posted Friday, April 30 2004 by MC_]

Badly Drawn Boy Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy was responsible for the soundtrack to the film About A Boy, which starred Hugh Grant - Hugh Grant was once famously caught with a Hollywood hooker and had his cover blown - Blown is how you’d feel if you’d just walked along a windy promenade during a strong gale - Gayle first name Michelle used to be in EastEnders and is now married to Mark Bright - Mark Bright used to play for Sheffield Wednesday - Wednesday is the only day of the week to begin with the letter “W” - The letter W in alphabetical order is number 23 - Number 23 Albert Square is the address of The Slaters - The Slaters are currently putting up Zoe’s mate Kelly, who is played by an actress called Brooke - If you combine the words “Kelly” and “Brook” you get Kelly Brook, who goes out with that fella from the Maltesers adverts - Maltesers are round, as are melons - Melons are sold on the market in Walford - Walford is a fictional borough of London - and when you think of London in the context of great records from yesteryear, you think of London Calling by The Clash - Which links us to this morning’s special Queen Vic Tedious Link track, The Clash and London Calling

Thursday 29th April 2004 [Posted Thursday, April 29 2004 by MC_]

Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice’s real name is Robert Van Winkle - A winkle is a type of shell fish, a bit like cockles and mussels - “Muscles from Brussels” is the nickname of Jean-Claude Van Damme - The word “damme” spelt differently can also be a mild swear word, or a wooden structure built by beavers - Beavers are soft creatures with smooth hair - Hair grows out of your follicles - Follicles nearly rhymes with molecules, which are really small - Small first name Gladstone is a former test cricketer famous for having a small neck - The opposite of a small neck is a long neck, which is something you would associate with a giraffe of course - Giraffes live in Africa - Africa was a hit for Toto - Toto begins with the letter “t” - Teapots are kept warm with the aid of a teacosy - and a teacosy is also a popular form of headwear which has been sported for many years in the world of music by such dignitary people as Bob Marley and of course Badly Drawn Boy - Which links us to Badly Drawn Boy and Silent Sigh

Wednesday 28th April 2004 [Posted Wednesday, April 28 2004 by MC_]

Kylie Minogue Shocked - Shocked is how you might feel if you’d just found out that your wife had been having an affair with a Russian Ice Skater - Sk8er Boi was a big hit for Avril Lavigne - The word “lavigne” shares many of the same letters as lasagna, which is a classic Italian dish - Dish rhymes with Shish, a type of kebab - A kebab is served on a stick - If you remove the first letter of stick you get “tick”, which is a type of parasite that you might find on a dog - A dog should be kept on a lead - The word lead shares exactly the same letter formation as the word lead (pronounced led), which is an element identified on the Periodic Table with the letters Pb, which stand for Plumbum - Plumbum rhymes with humdrum - Humdrum shouldn’t be mistaken for steel drum, which is a popular instrument at the Notting Hill carnival - Carnival Girl was a hit last year for the band Texas - Texas is the largest state in America - and America is the home of legendary early 90’s rapper Vanilla Ice - Which links us to Vanilla Ice and Ice Ice Baby

Tuesday 27th April 2004 [Posted Tuesday, April 27 2004 by MC_]

Reef Place Your Hands - Your hands are crucial in the art of sign language - Sign language is a huge aid to those with impaired hearing - Hearing is the job of two sensitive organs situated on the side of the face, called the ears - If you add a “b” to the front of the word ears you get “bears”, as in grizzly bears which are indigenous to North America - North America consists of The United States and Canada - Canada is famous for geese, Avril Lavigne and Bryan Adams - Bryan Adams shares the same christian name as former Westlife star Bryan McFadden, who has recently been sporting a beard - A beard is grown on the face - Face rhymes with Mace, which is a type of gas based repellent used to deter would be muggers - Muggers operate outside the law - Law first name Denis played for both Manchester United and Manchester City, something he shares in common with Peter Schmeichel The Great Dane - A Great Dane is also a breed of large dog - Large dogs urinate by cocking one leg, or having one leg cocked - and “cocked” rhymes with shocked - Which links us to Kylie Minogue and Shocked

Monday 26th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 26 2004 by MC_]

Urban Cookie Collective The Key: The Secret - A secret is something you can share with others, as is a pizza - Pizza can have different types of topping - Topping rhymes with lopping, which is a word used to describe the removal of a trees branches - Branches is a word associated with shops - Shops have windows - Windows were invented by zillionaire computer geek Bill Gates - Bill Gates shares the same surname as Gareth Gates, who recorded a Comic Relief number one with the Kumars - The Kumars live at number 47 - 47 is a prime number, i.e it is not divisible by any other number than itself and 1, unlike a prime suspect which is someone that the police wish to finger - A finger of fudge is just enough to give the kids a treat - If you remove the “r” from treat you get “teat”, which is another word for a nipple - Nipples are commonly found on animals that live on the land, and seldom seen on animals that live in the sea, such as fish - and fish like to live in the attractive surroundings of a “reef”, and can be wide ranging in their size and colour from cod to “plaice” - Which links us to “Reef” and “Place” Your Hands

Friday 23rd April 2004 [Posted Friday, April 23 2004 by MC_]

James Sit Down - “Sit down” is what you might be asked to do by an air stewardess during a short period of turbulence - Turbulence can be caused when one aircraft flies into the disturbed air left by another jet - Jet from Gladiators was played by a lady called Diane Youdale - Diane Youdale shares the same christian name as Diane Modahl, who recently starred in the last series of I’m A Celebrity - Celebrity Squares on the other hand was a very different programme all together and was what you would call a gameshow - If you remove the “show” part of gameshow you’re left simply with “game”, which is a term used to describe pheasants and stuff - Pheasants shouldn’t be mistaken for peasants or even presents, which are traditionally given at Christmas time or on the occasion of ones birthday - Coincidentally on the subject of birthdays, it’s actually mine tomorrow...and that’s no secret - and if you think of the word “secret” in the context of early 90’s dance tunes which also feature the word “key” and are performed by a collective of people with a penchant for biscuits, you think of The Key: The Secret by The Urban Cookie Collective - Which links us to Urban Cookie Collective and The Key: The Secret Available:- On the Back to the Old Skool Compilation

Thursday 22nd April 2004 [Posted Friday, April 23 2004 by MC_]

Moby Natural Blues - Moby is a vegetarian, as is Paul McCartney - Paul McCartney is married to Heather Mills - Heather Mills shares the same surname as Scott Mills - Scott Mills uses fake tan, as does Rachel, which if not applied properly can stain your hands - Hands that do dishes use Fairy - Fairy is used by International Velvet star Nanette Newman, who is the mother of Emma Forbes - Emma Forbes shares the same christian name as Emma Thompson, who starred in Love Actually - Love Actually was directed by Richard Curtis - Richard Curtis shares one name in common with Curtis Stigers, who scored a 1992 hit with I Wonder Why - Two months later and with two less words in the title, Why was a hit for miss Annie Lennox - Annie Lennox has short hair, as does Tim Booth from James - and James have recorded some superb records over the years, with one of the best known and most commercially successful being Sit Down - Which links us to James and Sit Down

Wednesday 21st April 2004 [Posted Wednesday, April 21 2004 by MC_]

Take That Pray - If you remove the first letter of pray you get “ray”, as in Ray Stubbs the host of Football Focus - Focus is what the eye fails to do properly if you are a wearer of correctional lenses - Lenses need frames, as do snooker players - Snooker players are often found at The Crucible - A crucible is a round sort of bowl thing that you have to use in chemistry - If you combine the word “chemistry” with the word “heathen” you get Heathen Chemistry, which was the title of a recent album by Oasis - Oasis contain two brothers, as do The Black Crowes - Crows are scared of scarecrows - Scarecrow was mates with Mrs. King - Mrs King is the mother of Ledley King, who plays for Spurs - Spurs are found on the boots of cowboys - Cowboys ride horses - Horses have tails and tails rhymes with whales - One of the most famous celebrity whales from the world of literature is Moby Dick - and if you remove Moby’s Dick you’re left simply with Moby - Which links us to Moby and Natural Blues

Tuesday 20th April 2004 [Posted Tuesday, April 20 2004 by MC_]

The Wonderstuff Size Of A Cow - Cows and all things cow like are referred to as being bovine - The word “bovine” shares the same word beginning as Bovril, which is a hot drink and something that you put on toast - Toast rhymes with Ghost, which was a 1990 film starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, which did much to make pottery sexy - Sexy MF was a 1992 hit for Prince and The New Power Generation - The New Power Generation featured the vocal talents of Rosie Gaines, who scored a big hit in 1997 with Closer Than Close - Close is another word for humid or muggy - Muggy shares many of the same letters as the word “moggy”, which is colloquial slang for a cat - Cat Stevens shares the same surname as Rachel Stevens, who used to be in S Club - Club is a word associated with feet, chocolate biscuits and golf - Golf involves tees - The Tees is a famous river, as is the River Ganges - and the River Ganges is a special place where thousands of people go every year to wash themselves, cleanse themselves and pray - Which links us to Take That and Pray

Monday 19th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 19 2004 by MC_]

Wildchild Renegade Master 98’ - “Renegade” is a word often associated with jeeps while a master is somebody at the top of their profession - “Profession” shares many of the same letters as percussion, which is something you find in an orchestra - If you add an “l” to the end of orchestra you get orchestral, as in Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, who had a top 7 hit in 1991 with Pandora’s Box - In the world of literature Pandora was the name of the love interest in The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, the famous novel by Sue Townsend - Sue Townsend shares the same surname as Andy Townsend, who now makes a living as a pundit - A pundit shouldn’t be mistaken for a punnet, which is a receptacle used for the collection and transportation of strawberries - Strawberries are often served with cream - Cream of a different type can be used to alleviate the symptoms of genital discomfort - If you remove the last five letters of “discomfort” you’re left with disco, which is an abbreviation of the French word discotheque, meaning disco - As well as being an ideal environment for dancing, Discos are also a type of crisps - and if you lived on a diet made up entirely of crisps, your weight would surely increase so much so, that within a matter of months you’d be about the size of a cow - Which links us to The Wonderstuff and Size Of A Cow

Friday 16th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 19 2004 by MC_]

Robbie Williams Old Before I Die - Die is the singular of the word dice - Dice is also a verb meaning to cut food stuffs into a cube type shape - If you remove the “e” from shape you get Shap, which is a town in Cumbria - Cumbria is still a proud producer of sausages - Sausages can be fried or grilled, as can fish fingers - Fish fingers were traditionally manufactured from cod - Cods are eaten by seals and it’s because of this that the Canadians are thinking about killing them all - All rhymes with Gall, which is an old fashioned word for France (MC side note: Where I was all last week...or did I already mention that?) - France in turn rhymes with pants, as in “I Messed My Pants When We Flew Over France”, a famous line from Ivor Novello hopefuls Busted - “Busted” is also a term used by the Police, meaning to finally crack an ongoing crime investigation - Investigations are carried out to determine the cause of an accident, such as the famous near fatal yachting accident involving Duran Duran front man Simon Le Bon in 1985 - Simon Le Bon is mates with Duran Duran guitarist John Taylor - and John Taylor is married to, or was married to, or definitely was or indeed is involved with Amanda de Cadenet, the famous former “wild child” - Which links us to Wildchild and Renegade Master 98’ (Fatboy Slim Remix)

Thursday 15th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 19 2004 by MC_]

Embrace All You Good Good People - Embrace are from Brighouse in West Yorkshire, not Huddersfield as some people foolishly think - Think is often paired with the word “tank” and in that respect shares something in common with the words “Armored” and “fish” - Fish have scales, as do first year clarinet pupils - Pupils are found in the eye as well as the classroom - Classroom shares the same word ending as bedroom - Bedroom rhymes with headroom, as in Max Headroom who was a computer generated character from the 1980’s, the same decade that saw the birth of both Charlotte Church and Wayne Rooney - Wayne Rooney is teammates with Nigel Martyn, who surely deserves a place in Sven’s squad for Portugal - Portugal has a capital called Lisbon, in the same way that France has a capital called Paris (MC side note: Where I was when Dave did this link) - Paris Hilton is an actress who’s work is widely available online - Prior to the establishment of the World Wide Web, “On line” was a phrase associated with the drying of washing - The word “washing” shares four letters in common with the name Williams, as in Robbie Williams the pop singer - Which links us to Robbie Williams and Old Before I Die

Wednesday 14th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 19 2004 by MC_]

Shaggy Boombastic - Before becoming a recording artist, Shaggy was in the US Marines - Marines wear uniforms, as do milkmen - Milkmen don’t just deliver milk these days, in fact they deliver such a diverse supply of products as yoghurts and fruit juice - Fruit juice comes in cartons, as do duty free fags - If you add an “l” to the word fags you get flags, which are often flown on top of Buckingham Palace - Buckingham Palace is somewhere you’d expect to find members of the Royal Family, such as Prince Charles - Prince Charles has reportedly invited Beyonce and Jay-Z to dinner when they are next in the country - “The Country” can be a term that is opposite to “The City” - The City Ground is the home of Nottingham Forest - Nottingham Forest are managed by Joe Kinnear - Joe Kinnear has been a very successful manager over the years, with Wimbledon, Luton and now Forest of course - and during his managerial career he’s probably been to most of this country’s away grounds, such as Plymouth, West Brom and Huddersfield - and when you think of Huddersfield in the context of seldom today heard bands with a small but impressive back catalogue, you think of Embrace - Which links us to Embrace and All You Good Good People

Tuesday 13th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 19 2004 by MC_]

Adamski Killer - If you combine the word “killer” with the word “whale” you get killer whale, which is a type of large sea mammal, the most famous of which being Shamoo - If you insert a “p” into the word “Shamoo” you get shampoo, which is something you might put in your hair - Other things that are put in the hair include clips, gel and ribbons - Ribbons rhymes with Gibbons which are a type of ape or monkey or something - Apes and monkeys are quite closely related to humans - Humans are the most intelligent animals on the planet, with the only real competition coming from dolphins - Dolphins like to be tickled on their tummies, something they share in common with both dogs and cats - Dogs and cats have tails, except Manx Cats, which don’t - Don’t You Want Me Baby was a number one in 1981 for The Human League - The Human League are from Sheffield, as are Jarvis Cocker, Joe Cocker (no relation) and Joe Elliott from Def Leppard - and Joe Elliott from Def Leppard is famous for his trademark locks of cascading rock hair, which during their soft metal hey day of the late 80’s was long and shaggy - Which links us to Shaggy and Boombastic

Tedious Links Updated Next Weekend [Posted Sunday, April 11 2004 by MC_]

I will upload all the weeks Tedious Links when I return from holiday, either next Sunday (18th April) or on next Monday (19th April).

Friday 9th April 2004 [Posted Friday, April 9 2004 by MC_]

Macy Gray I Try - The phrase “I Try” when written down could be interpreted as being 1 try, which could conceivably be the winning margin in a game of rugby - Rugby is named after Rugby, where the game was first conceived - The town Rugby is also famous for being the most southerly point of the M6, before it travels northwards all the way to Carlisle - Carlisle first name Belinda was the lead singer of The Go-Go's, who having battled against weight problems and drug abuse, went on to enjoy a brief but relatively successful solo career, which spawned the singles Heaven Is A Place On Earth and Circle In The Sand - Sand is an enemy to electrical appliances and wearers of contact lenses - Contact lenses need to be rinsed after use, as do dishes - Dishes rhymes with fishes, which are the catch of choice for anglers - Anglers use rods - Rods rhymes with Pods, which is where you would find natural vanilla - Vanilla rhymes with Manila, the capital of the Philippines - The Philippines is heavily influenced by the Spanish - The Spanish are famous for their omelettes - Omelettes are made from eggs - and eggs can be infected with salmonella, which can turn this natural food substance into a killer - Which links us to Adamski and Killer

Thursday 8th April 2004 [Posted Thursday, April 8 2004 by MC_]

House Of Pain Jump Around - a house of pain shouldn’t be mistaken for a house in Spain, which is what a mate of ours has near Alicante - Alicante has it’s own airport and in that respect shares something in common with Chicago - Chicago were a band, fronted by the late Peter Cetera - If you add the letters “e” and “t” to the front of Cetera you get etcetera, which is normally abbreviated using the letters “etc” - Etc rhymes with BCG, which is a type of inoculation against tuberculosis - Tuberculosis, if not treated properly, can be a killer - Killer was a 1990 hit for Adamski, but featured the vocal talents of Seal - Seals have a large percentage of body fat to insulate them against the cold - The Cold War had nothing to do with seals and was actually a conflict of suspicion between the West and the East, who are separated by The Iron Curtain - Curtains run on rails, as do trains - Trains employ conductors, as do orchestras - Orchestra stalls is a slang term for testicles - Testicles are traditionally unique to men - and men tend to be physically bigger than women in most instances, with the only notable exception being Macy Gray - Which links us to Macy Gray and I Try

Wednesday 7th April 2004 [Posted Wednesday, April 7 2004 by MC_]

Stereophonics A Thousand Trees - A thousand trees is probably the amount it would take to make up a small forest or medium sized wood - Wood first name Ronnie is a member of The Rolling Stones - Rolling Stones tend not to gather any moss - Moss first name Kate is a British supermodel who is apparently now dating that fella who starred in Our Friends in the North, alongside Christopher Eccleston who is now the new Doctor Who - Doctor Who was the programme that first introduced the phenomenon of The Darlek - Darlek rhymes with garlic - Garlic comes in the form of cloves - If you remove the “l” from cloves you’re left simply with coves, which is the plural of the word cove, a small round sheltered bay or inlet often occupied by pirates as it traditionally provided good protection - Protection was the title of a 1995 track by Massive Attack, which charted at number 14 - Number 14 is the shirt number worn by Mr Thierry Henry - Thierry Henry plays for Arsenal, who were knocked out of The Champions League last night by Chelsea - and I would imagine Chelsea were so pleased with this result that they went back to the dressing room and were having such a good time that they had a big “jump around” to celebrate - Which links us to House Of Pain and Jump Around

Tuesday 6th April 2004 [Posted Tuesday, April 6 2004 by MC_]

Madonna Holiday - A holiday is what the Americans call a vacation - If you swap the “a” in vacation for an “o” you get vocation, which is a word meaning career or job - Job plays for Middlesbrough, as does Maccarone - Macaroni cheese is a firm favourite with enthusiasts of pasta - Pass The Dutchie was a 1982 hit for Musical Youth - Youth shares many of the same letters as Louth, which is a town in Lincolnshire - Lincolnshire is famous for it’s sausages - Sausages are a crucial ingredient in the dish Toad In The Hole - Hole In My Shoe was a 1984 hit for Neil - Neil in The Young Ones was played by actor Nigel Planer, who starred alongside Rik Mayall - Mail is delivered in a sack, as are potatoes - Potatoes live in the ground, as do worms - Worms or more precisely wood worms can cause untold damage to wood - Wood comes from trees - and it only takes one tree to make a thousand matches - and it only takes one match to burn a thousand trees - Which links us to the Stereophonics and A Thousand Trees

Monday 5th April 2004 [Posted Monday, April 5 2004 by MC_]

EMF Unbelievable - “Unbelievable” is what you might say if you’d just seen a ten foot tall yellow pig selling candy floss to a small family of ducks who had just emerged from a pond full of custard - Custard rhymes with mustard, which can be English or French - Other things that can be English or French include salad dressing, subtitles and cars - Cars are made nowadays with the help of robots - Robot Wars is hosted by Craig Charles, who is well known for being an actor from Red Dwarf - Red Dwarf has the initials RD, which interestingly are also the initials of Reginald Dwight, better known as Elton John - Elton John likes nice things and is a big fan of The Royal Mail - The Royal Mail are best known for delivering letters - Letters are a crucial ingredient in the TV shows Countdown and Reverse-a-word - Reverse-a-word is hosted by Scott Mills and is destined to be as popular a show as Craig Doyle’s Holiday - and when you think of the word “holiday” in the context of early Madonna hit singles, you think of Holiday by Madonna - Which links us (geniusly) to Madonna and Holiday

Friday 2nd April 2004 [Posted Friday, April 2 2004 by MC_]

Eminem My Name Is - Eminem is the stage name of Marshall Mathers, in the same way that Sting is the stage name of Gordon Sumner - Gordon Sumner is from Newcastle, as is Donna Air - Air is made up of oxygen, hydrogen and a whole assortment of other gases - The word gases begins with the letter “g”, much like the word “goggles”, which are often worn for swimming - Swimming is a word that is often included in the same sentence as the word “trunks”, which in turn is often associated with the word “elephants” - Elephants never forget - Never Forget was the penultimate single from Take That - Take That were managed by Nigel Martin Smith - Nigel Martin Smith shares two names in common with Everton goalkeeper Nigel Martyn, who surely should be included in Sven’s squad for Portugal - Portugal borders only one country and that is Spain - Spain is a major European producer of fruit - Fruit grows on trees - Trees are commonly found in forests - and one of the most famous forests in Gloucestershire is The Forest Of Dean, which curiously is home to the band EMF - Which links us to EMF and Unbelievable

Thursday 1st April 2004 [Posted Thursday, April 1 2004 by MC_]

Van Halen Jump - “Jump!!” is the worst thing you could say to a person standing precariously a top a tall building high above the city - City Slickers was a film starring Billy Crystal - Crystal is famously produced in Waterfoot in Ireland - Ireland is the birthplace of Graham Norton - Norton are famous for making motorbikes - Motorbikes don’t often have radios - Radios need an aerial - Aerial is the name both of an in house BBC internal publication and a type of washing powder - Washing powder is traditionally sold in box form, as are cornflakes - Cornflake packets have traditionally featured a picture of a cock - Another famous thing to feature a cock is the French rugby shirt - French rugby shirts are predominantly blue - Blue are a band consisting of four members and in that respect share something in common with The Four Tops - and The Four Tops were I think from Detroit in America, the same city as Eminem - Which links us to Eminem and My Name Is