Wednesday 30th April 2003 (sidla/sam/bob) [Posted Wednesday, April 30 2003 by Uglybob]

The team replayed the 'I look like Wayne Sleep Get Me Out Of Here' clip from yesterday's show. Chris and Dave all thought Aled's screams were both hilarious and pathetic at the same time. Aled received his Jaffa Cakes which had been very kindly sent by the Jaffa Cake people, but Chris was a bit peeved because they only sent 3 boxes.
Filming was going on around the corner from Radio 1 and Chris sent Dave out to try and see Celebrity X. Dave got there and found no sign of any celebrities or any filming. The celebrity in question turned out to be Shane Ritchie, so I can only assume they were filming Eastenders. Chris told Shane to phone if he was listening, but they didn't hear from him.
When Chris played the Madonna single, Aled was rapping along during the rap section. Chris told Aled to do it on air, and he did it surprisingly well, only tripping up a couple of times.
Yesterday Will went on a ‘recce’ to Sheffield to check everything out about the Justin Concert. Chris is really looking forward to going back up north for it. He claims the north is far better than the south and has a go at Will for being a poncy southerner. Will however is proud of his southern roots, but less proud of his grey roots in his hair presumably.
Will and Chris informed the audience that the team this year will be going to Cardiff, Leicester, Leeds and a trip to Spain, before any of them have actually been announced. The Spain trip hasn’t even been organised and budgeted for yet. I don’t think radio one management are going to be very happy.
The team had a load of Jaffa Cakes that were rapidly disappearing. The culprit was named as Aled and Will was nominated to go and wrestle them off him. Will won and the Jaffa Cakes were rescued.
The big boss at Radio 1 Mr Andy Parfitt was touring the studios with some high powered guests, causing the team to go all giggly and nervous, much like you would at school when the Head walked in, bless ‘em. Yesterday there was a big argument about the news. Chris was talking to George and Sport Monkey ‘David Gorilla’ when George sent David out to do some work mid-link. Chris got really angry about this as its his show and only he decides what goes on during it. Consequently George was off today and Lyn read the news. David was back at 4:30 but a still smarting Chris insisting on humming and playing tumbleweed sound effects every time he spoke throughout the sport news. Was very funny!

Viaduct
Emily, a truck driver, was a mardy cow, just got her divorce through today, aged 23.
Gavin won The Abduction Club on DVD, Atomic Kitten CD, Third Box of Jaffa Cakes, Goldfrapp t-shirt and more Energy drinks

1. What do you get if you put the words Bum and Face together?
2. Radio 1 potentially award winning saturday morning show is presented by Edith Bowman and Colin Who?
3. Gobby American who starred in Celebrity Fame Academy, Ruby Who?
4. Furry things that are worn on the ears to protect you from the cold are Ear What?
5. Nubile rusky double act and outstanding supporters of lady love are Who?
6. Former jungle celebrity and lesbo comic (allegedly) who is at home in the bush is somebody Cameron?
7. This two word phrase means authentic or genuine something Fide, rhymes with Rhona?
8. Common name for Andrew rhymes with Randy?
9. Which christian name links Appleton, Imbruglia and Cole?
10. Complete the title of this movie _____ Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?
11. Which member of the team took part in a jungle challenge?
12. This is how you how you spell ABBA, Something BB Something?
13. Complete this line Eh its me, somebody Byrne?
14. Complete the name of this well known character Sweet SOMEBODY Adams?
15. This is the American word for Arse, 3 letters, rhymes with Gas?
16. According to the papers , this young celeb is in rehab, Jack Who?
17. Which surname links Aled, Tom and Kelly?
18. Complete the title of this well known film about Whales, Moby What?

Chris played that awful record from The Androids called Do It With Madonna. At 5pm they put off David Garrido by playing tumbleweed again with Big Ben chiming and distorted his voice with a lot of echo. Chris said that Jonny Massey and Georgina Bowman are in detention. Chris said he was responsible for Lisa L'anson and Clive Warren getting sacked because they looked at him funny.
Chris played Im A Celebrity music for another Aled challenge, or so Aled thought. Chris asked him to put his hand in a box and pull the thing out. Aled was relieved to find an Aberystwyth Town top.
Chris decided to give the team an age test, as featured in todays Mirror. Daves natural age is 50, Chris was 39 and Will was 47.

Daves Tedious Link
Zoe, Sunshine On A Rainy Day - Zoe is the christian name of the former Radio 1 breakfast show host Zoe Ball - Zoe shares her surname with Bobby Ball - Bobby Ball is mates with Tommy Cannon - Cannonball Run was a top film starring Burt Reynolds - Burt Reynolds has a moustache as does Tom Selleck - Tom Selleck starred in 3 Men and a Baby alongside Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg - Steve Guttenberg, in my opinion, was instrumental in the success of Police Academy - Police Academy was situated in a fictional institution and were entirely not real and in that respect similar to Star Trek - Trek rhymes with Feck which is an Irish word meaning Crikey - Crikey rhymes with Pikey and if you take the Y off the end you get pike which is a type of freshwater fish - Fish can breathe underwater as can Patrick Duffy (5th mention of Patrick Duffy in Tedious Link) - Patrick Duffy shares his surname with Billy Duffy and Keith Duffy - Keith Duffy is an actor now like Michael Caine - Michael Caine shares the same surname as Sam Kane who used to play that gay hairdresser in Brookside although actually in real life he isnt gay at all and is married to Linda Lusardi - Linda Lusardi used to be a topless model and the world of glamour photography which involves cold studios and hot lights to create that party atmosphere - Which links us to MC Lyte and Cold Rock A Party

Tuesday 29th April [Posted Tuesday, April 29 2003 by Sam]

They had a special guest on the phone – Mr Huey Lewis. Huey said hello to Dave but Chris told him not to say anything to Aled as he’s not important. Chris seemed to be kissing his ass a fair bit, saying it’s an honour to speak to him and calling him Mr Lewis. He invited Chris to come and see him live, and said he’d try to arrange it so they would sing Chris’s favourite song. Chris is going to see him on Thursday night. He will go an see Shed Seven next week. Chris decided to play a bit of their new single, but its not playlisted.

Viaduct Pilfering
Carbo drinks they found from the Comic Relief Football challenge that noone drank
Will Young and Gareth Gates DVDs

1. Complete this title of this recent hit from Electric Six (Something, Somethin) High Voltage
2. What do you get if you put together the words Scott and Mills together?
3. This slightly eccentric celebrity has a child called blanket?
4. Who's recent hit was What I Got To School For?
5. Arsene Wenger is the manager of whom?
6. This is the film that spawned a sequel Waynes World 2?
7. Where are Man Utd going to be beaten on the last day of the season?
8. Fill in the missing word in this Belinda Carlisle record Heaven is ? place on Earth?
9. Complete this phrase Eh Its Me Somebody Byrne?

Gavin from Torquay, Sheffield Utd fan with a broken leg won.

Dave and Chris said that Wayne Sleep looked like Aled with glasses. Chris decided to a parody idea for Im A Celebrity Get Me Out Here. Chris and Dave got some things and will put them down his shirt while he is blindfolded. They called it I Look Like Wayne Sleep, Get Me Out Of Here. For each thing put down his shirt, he got one jaffa cake and if he got all 10, he got a box of jaffa cakes. Dave revealed that they put Beef and Tomato dry Pot Noodle down his back.

Daves Tedious Link
Supergrass Richard III - Richard the Third is * rhyming slang for a bird - A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush - Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale is married to No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani - Stephanie Powers was Robert Wagners onscreen wife in the show Hart To Hart - Heart Of Rock N Roll was a hit in 1986 for Huey Lewis and The News - The News at Ten is presented by Trevor McDonald - Trevor shares his surname with Ronald McDonald - Ronald McDonald has big red lips as does Jordan - Jordan has fake boobs as does Daniella Westbrook - Daniella Westbrook used to be in Eastenders and is a woman which makes her very similar to Michelle Ryan who is in Eastenders and is a woman - Michelle Ryans character in Albert Square is called Zoe - Which links us to Zoe and Sunshine on a Rainy Day

#The cockney rhyming slang for Richard the Third is actually slang for TURD, not bird.

Monday 28th April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Monday, April 28 2003 by Uglybob]

Will has arrived back from Barcelona. This would have been a cue for Chris to play a clip of 'Barcelona' by Freddie Mercury, but Aled hadn't managed to find the track in time. Will said he had a great time, but someone nearly pick-pocketed his passport. Will said that everywhere he went there was no smoking signs, but it was ironic because nearly everybody he saw had a fag in their hand. Chris said that he gets the impression that the Spanish people like smoking because cigarettes are so cheap. Will said that a pack of 20 are about €2.50.
Dave has finally met his hero Wayne Rooney. He was signing autographs after the Everton game and Dave just happened to be at the front of the queue. Dave was with the Stereophonics as they rehearsed for One Big Weekend. This will be first time that a lot of their fans will hear their new stuff. Chris got fans to phone in asking sensible and silly questions, such as “Fizzy or non-fizzy cola bottles?” (Answer was non-fizzy). They’ve got a live stadium tour coming up in November. Chris asked them if there is anything they would like him to introduce them by on Sunday, they don’t want to be called ‘3 lovely boys from Wales’.

The prizes for todays Viaduct was
Tom Jones DVD (Target Audience)
Misteeq Eye Candy CD
Gareth Gates and Will Young DVD (Another target audience)
Book Group first series on DVD
Chicken Curry in a Can
Transformers toys

Catherine from Newcastle beat Alex who worked in Credit Card firm (evil!). Alex got an extra Tom Jones DVD. A bit of a shambles at the start as they couldnt find the right music and they nearly lost the first caller. Dave got back from The Stereophonics at 10 past 5. He said that the recording studio was not like he imagined, it was huge. One Big Weekend tickets will be given away later in the week. Chris will be there introducing the bands. Chris wanted to sing Avenues and Alleyways with the Stereophonics on Sunday.

BIG NEWS : Justin Timberlake ON THE SHOW on May 7th 2003.
and you can be there and watch him in concert with the team.
The competition will run next Monday, the 5th May 2003

Daves Tedious Link
Stretch N Vern Im Alive - Alive is a film about a South American football team who ended up having to eat each other after their plane crashed in the Andes - Your andies are at the end of your armies - Armies cant walk on an empty stomach - Stomach almost rhymes with hammock which is a device for sitting between trees - Trees have branches as do Argos - Argos is responsible for resurrecting the career of Richard E Grant - Richard E Grant should not be mistaken for Hugh Grant who while trying to be discreet with a Hollywood hooker ending up having his cover blown... - Blown rhymes with bone - Bones are popular with dogs and with archeologists - One of the most famous archeologists in popular culture was Indiana Jones - Indiana Jones shares his surname with Kelly Jones - Kelly Jones is frontman with the Stereophonics - Stereophonics were originally made up of 3 members (i thought they still are) as were Supergrass - Which links us to Supergrass and Richard III

Im A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2 [Posted Saturday, April 26 2003 by Uglybob]

The runners and riders

Phil Tufnell - Cricketer, famous for being a cricketer and acting like one, ie shagging around and taking copious amounts of hash. Probably the favourite, a craig big brother character as he doesnt sleep at night.

Sian Lloyd - Weatherwoman, cant call her girl as shes 44. The only Welsh person but i wouldnt know if Aled would want to support her. We could do without her donning a swimsuit. She gets peeved off if you call her a weather girl apparantly, she insists you call her a meterologist.

Linda Barker - Ahm... Interior Designer think, The words bottom, scraping and barrel come to mind for this choice. Shes 41 but shes looks 31, I commend her for that but i dont commend her for that false condescending voice and laugh.

John Fashanu - Ex-Footballer, n-n-n-n Notorious as Duran Duran said in 1986. He hosted Gladiators with Ulrika Jonsson and she didnt shag him, its a miracle. He had a gay brother who died of aids i think called Justin. Also was part of the match fixing scandal in mid nineties but making sure the lawyers dont send me anything, i think he was cleared.

Daniella Westbrook - Oh where to begin. Ill admit she looks good now, well a damn sight better than that pic about 18 months ago where her septum was completely buggered up. Plastic surgery has been kind but one wonders how long it will take before she cracks up under the pressure, the pressure of the group or the pressure of her plastic breasts staying firm.

Anthony Worrall Thompson - A smug git but should be the most entertaining of the bunch of no-marks. He has a face you wouldnt tire of punching and its a pity Nigel Benn isnt there but im sure John Fashanu could elbow him well, ask Gary Mabbutt, football joke by the way, the females mightnt get that one.

Chris Bisson - Chris WHO?. If you never watched Coronation Street you wont have a clue who this fella is. Yes he was in East is East but that was 4 years ago. I think hes only in this to make him look like eye candy for the female viewers as i dont think the sight of Worrall Thompson and Sleep will have the females lips salivating.

Wayne Sleep - I know who he is and whats he famous for but I thought he was dead or hid under a rock. Jesus, hes about 5 foot, over 50, as camp as a dozen Graham Nortons and is a ballet dancer. All you need to top that off is a penchant for cross dressing and an over fondness for goats. Those last two are falsehoods but looking at him, you never know.

Toyah Wilcox - She was famous in the eighties as a singer and she has done her fair share of presenting on the tv stations and she likes to share baths with her husband, well well. I think shes strong enough to last to the final 3 but will she win, doubt it. Mustnt forget Its A Mystery, I expect the pun makers of the Sun and Star are already using that already for future headlines.

Catalina Guirado - famous for not exactly sure. Remember the heady days of 1996, England getting to the Euro Championship semi final and lad culture on the increase as we all watched Men Behaving Badly. The other thing we never missed was a ginger fella called Chris Evan friday night show TFI Friday. It was hugely successful, at the time with some features called Freak Or Unique but were more interested in Ugly Bloke. A somewhat lacking feature yes but funny I thought nonetheless. An ugly bloke got the chance to turn down an offer from a beautiful girl. That girl was Catalina or as they called her Cat. Since then, all that has been seen of her is in Heat at Showbiz parties and being linked to Jack Osbourne (slightly ironic that, i thought). I predict her to be the first casualty as shes the most desperate for the attention.

BOBS PREDICTION
Phil Tufnell
OUTSIDE BET
Toyah Wilcox
NO CHANCE
Catalina Guirado

Friday 25th April 2003 [Posted Friday, April 25 2003 by Uglybob]

Boy Hair Ellie joined the team as the phones and tea maker. Chris said he bought the Everton shirt that Dave got yesterday but it was a genuine signature by Wayne Rooney. Chris tried to piss Dave off by saying it might be someone elses signature. The team congratulated Celtic on their fine win last night against Boavista, which means they are in the UEFA Cup Final against Porto. Aled went out last night to Corkeys leaving do. Dave had some strong export lager downed with a bottle of wine. Producer Aled didnt have a woo woo last night and had a spring champagne cocktail, he has never drank a pint, though he has held one for a photo. Chris said that Aled drinks girly drinks but said that he compensates it by drinking vodka. Aled has more decorating to do at the weekend, lilac blue or terracotta (browny, reddy one). Aled said he wanted all his mates to help him. Aled said that he is very slow at painting though hes never painted (yes you find out the logic there).
NEW IDEA - Aleds Ballads - Aled chose Phil Collins and Against All Odds but Chris cut that track off in the nick of time. Chris said that Liam Gallagher owes him an interview after meeting him for the first time last year at a TOTP special. Chris said he would ask him questions noone has dared ask him before like what his favourite colour was.
Chris was suspicious as to why Matt Barbet was still hanging around the studios bearing in mind he is the Breakfast Show newsreader. Chris asked him if he had a row with his wife. Matt was still about at 5pm complaining that Chris has Thierry Henry and Ronaldo in his Leeds team on the football on the XBox.
There was a leaving do tonight for Roachie, cameraman and producer in Newsbeat, and it was someone from Radio 1's birthday party. Chris and Dave couldnt make up which one to go to so they found the perfect answer: just go home and not go to any of them.

Misteeq joined the team for the new Viaduct : The Revenge. For just this once, you can play along as I write out the questions
1. What is the plural of hooter?
2. Busty Brighton Model Katie Price is better known by what name?
3. What do you get if you put the words wide and mouth together?
4. What is the first name of Tony Blairs wife?
5. What word do you get if you put the word Air and Port together?
6. What does the K stand for in the initials JFK?
7. The Radio 1 Breakfast Show is hosted by Sara who?
8. Lee, Duncan, Simon and Anthony are collectively known as what?
9. Who had a big hit in 1988 with Joe Le Taxi?
10. Name a small French dog with curly hair?
11. This is what students live on Something Noodle?
12. This is what you get in the hole in the wall, rhymes with hash?
13. Whats the plural for the word Johnnie?
14. On Valentines Day its traditonal to send you loved one a dozen what?
15. Name a famous type of assorted chocolate that come in different coloured wrappers Something Street?
16. What do you get when you put together the words Ian and Harte?
17. According to the papers, this footballer is on his way to Spain for 38 million?
18. What is the name of our producer who is on the way to Spain?
19. What is the plural for the word tight?
20. Boys wear underwear and girls wear?
21. What do policemen wear on their heads?
22. What boy band are reportedly signed a lucrative deal to be the faces of Pepsi?

Will wasnt at work today because he was going on a romantic weekend with his girlfriend to Barcelona. This made perfect material for Chris as he rang him at ten past five and kept him on the phone for about 10 minutes or more in a feature he called Wheres Willy. Will was still at the house doing last minute packing. He did eventually get into his airport taxi which was a flash silver Mercedes and Chris asked anyone who saw a silver Mercedes to honk their horn, Two people did eventually though it might have just been Wills car.
Chris claimed to have another exclusive play before Pete Tong got his hands on it. It was by the Big Beat Sabateurs with their take on seaside classics such as Ive Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts and Summer Holiday. Pete was impressed by the Coconuts and wanted to play it as an ironic tune.

Daves Tedious Link
Stereophonics Just Looking - Just looking is what blokes are allowed to do to other women when the girlfriends arent watching - Watching was a 1980's comedy set in Liverpool which starred Emma Rae - Ray Reardon was a famous snooker player much like Willie Thorne - Thorn In My Side was a big hit for Eurythymics - The Eurythmics were comprised of a duo including a small Scottish lady much like the Krankies - Krankies rhymes with hanky - Hanky is what you use to blow your nose - Noses have holes in them as do donuts - Donuts are round like a steering wheel - W(heel)ill Young likes hats as does Dave Pearce - Dave Pearce isnt on after us tonight, instead its the usual Friday night man Pete Tong - Pete Tong has snogged Vanessa Feltz - and when Vanessa Feltz puts on weight it must make the clothes that she bought when she was thinner stretch - Which links us to Stretch N Vern with Im Alive

Thursday 24th April 2003 (Daves Birthday) [Posted Thursday, April 24 2003 by Uglybob]

A montage of Dave's quips was played at the start of the show. Dave got his presents last night from his girlfriend. People such as Nick Videtta from Pledge Office Chairs in Leighton Buzzaard, Morrison Smith, Aiden Green in Dublin emailed in to say its their birthday too. Karen and Helen have a car named after Dave which was slightly puzzling. Daves Birthday and all the stars were out in force. Chuck Norris, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Chevy Chase, Erik Estrada and Ted Danson all said Happy Birthday albeit it was Will and Chris. Chris got a Fax from Everton FC with a few of the players signatures on it including a picture of David Moyes.
Will read out the celebrities that shared Daves birthday from the Sun which included Jean Paul Gaultier (51), Barbra Streisand (61) and Stuart Pearce (41). Dave was kitted out in new clothes bought for his birthday by his bird Emma. He said he had other cards from the in-laws too and some emails and cards from listeners which included all the people from Chrismoyles.net. A shout out goes to Steph (Ickle Penguin from Messageboard) who organised the e-card and the messages.
Chris asked Dave if he had a birthday boffing yet, not that he was asking for him to do it with him, that would be morally wrong on both counts. Chris had a telephone Guess Who for Dave which was former Hollyoaks, former Casualty, former pop star, former Night Fever (lest we forget) former famous person Will Mellor.
Chris complained about his mobile messaging service. On Saturday, Chris was out with his girlfriend whilst Leeds were playing Southampton. The text read that Terry Venables is forced into a reshuffle of the side and will put in Wilcox in midfield. Venables hasnt been at Leeds for 2 months. Chris has kept Leeds 6 Charlton 1 in his archived messages. It is Daves Auntie Edna 70th Birthday at the weekend.
Chris kept prompting Dave that there was a Page 3 stunner but nothing occurred. They tried to get Nikki but were unsuccessful. Chris said they got 3 tickets for XxX, a different type of play. Look at the Sun today for more info***.
Chris was flicking through the Sky the other night to see what kind of muck he could find. He found a programme called Shaving Rooms. He tuned into Men and Motors and saw Pick A Stripper, where dogs dance to an R N B version of a Xmas record in the background. He was also into Interactive Scrabble and Play Your Cards Right on Challenge TV. Chris will be choosing one lucky group to sing a duet with in Manchester. The choices are between Feeder, Stereophonics or Badly Drawn Boy.
Chris left all the bigger surprises to the end. Stuart Cable from the Stereophonics, Pat Sharp (Woo Woo) and funnily Fern Britton and Phillip Schofield from This Morning all gave Dave a birthday greeting. And yes it was the real people. Chris also got him a signed Wayne Rooney shirt, a big cake with the candles unlit as it was against the safety regulations to have candles lit in the studio.

Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams South Of The Border - Robbie is from Stoke On Trent as is Bruno Brookes - Bruno Brookes shares 1 name with boxer Frank Bruno - Frank Bruno is now supposedly a DJ, a bit like Dave Pearce - Dave Pearce shares the same surname as Stuart Pearce - Stuart Pearce used to play for Forest as did Roy Keane - Roy Keane is Irish as is Daniel O Donnell - Daniel O Donnell is a musician much like Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi should not be confused with Bonjella which is a gel to cure mouth ulcers - Ulcer sounds a bit like Ursula as in Ursula Andress - Ursula Andress was a big Hollywood star around the same time as Elizabeth Taylor - Liz Taylor is mates with Michael Jackson - Michael Jackson had a Xmas number 1 in 1995 with Earthsong - Earth rhymes with birth - It is Daves birthday so he choose any damn record he blooming likes - Which means todays link is the Stereophonics and Just Looking

Dave - Thank you Wayne, thank you to all the players and staff at Everton football club, thanks to Chris, Will and Aled for the presents and cards and to all the emailers
Chris - Are you feeling emotional, do you want to cry?
Dave - No, actually I was just about to burp.
Chris - Lovely
NEWS STING
BACK TOMORROW

***
FURY erupted yesterday over a perverted play featuring shock hardcore sex scenes. During the show — called XXX — an actress dragged a man from the audience and performed a lurid act on him. Spectators watched stunned as close-ups were projected on to a huge screen. They were even urged to phone-text filthy messages which were also shown. Naked gay and group sex scenes and portrayals of torture and mutilation were among some of the most explicit ever performed on a British stage.

Wednesday 23rd April 2003 [Posted Wednesday, April 23 2003 by Uglybob]

It was St Georges Day today, not like you would notice as noone celebrated it. Chris said that when it is St Patricks Day in England, people go out and down a Guinness whereas on St Georges Day, people go about without actually realising what day it is. Dave pointed out that St George was Turkish. Chris was happier after Leeds won 2-0 last night but then again it was Fulham they were against.
Will whined at them last night that he wanted them out early at half 9 for training because he had some work to do later on. Will turned up 15 minutes late blaming the slow trains. Dave and Chris were already at the park having already ran for 20 minutes. Chris also was unhappy that Will asked Scott to call off the football practice. Dave said that Will set a best time shaving off 39 seconds. Chris said that doesnt really count as he always runs really slow so that any time he does will always be better than the last one. Dave found frisbee funny today as Chris and Will refused to throw the frisbee at each other so Dave had double the action. Chris then proceeded to ask Will to apologize and prompted him the right words to say which basically meant calling Chris handsome and muscular and Will one of them sort.

Aled wanted to bring to the attention of Chris a GCSE Bytesize revision trailer and asked him to play it. The trailer is of Scott Mills and Nemone in a computer game. Chris said that theyre acting was of Bafta award winning standard.
A lot of emails and texts came in saying that Chris shouldnt be playing God Save The Queen for St Georges Day as it is the anthem for the whole of the British Isles and that he should be playing Land Of Hope & Glory instead.
A monumentous day tomorrow as the team celebrate the 29th birthday of Mr Dave Vitty. Chris and Will asked Dave what he wanted but Dave wanted it to be a surprise. Chris said that for the basis of padding out a link, he requested some names from showbiz, sport, the arts and music so Will and Chris have a good idea of what to get. Here is what we call DAVES DEMANDS

1. A message from David Moyes and Wayne Rooney
2. Stereophonics to perform in the Live Lounge along with David Coverdale from Whitesnake.
3. Tv Celebs such as Mark Curry and Fern Britton but without Philip Schofield, Ray Stubbs.
4. DJ's such as Dave Pearce, Gary Davies, Pat Sharp, Lisa L'anson, Simon Mayo.
5. Ted Danson, Erik Estrada from C.H.I.P.S and Chevy Chase.
6. Zoe. 22 from London and Carina, the girl who named herself after a Toyota and Bubble from Big Brother 2 and Malachi from Fame Academy.

Dave rehashed an idea by Will yesterday and called his feature 6 Degrees of Seperation. Chris and Will were ultimately bored as Dave asked what linked him to Pierce Brosnan. The link was that Dave had met Pierce Brosnan. It didnt get any better. Linking Calista Flockhart and Madonna, he said they both had been to the Oscars. Chris asked when Calista Flockhart was at the Oscars and Dave replied that she probably went with Harrison Ford. Chris asked what film was Harrison Ford up for and Dave said Patriot Games, released 11 years ago. Huey Lewis and The News News at 4pm with Dominic Byrne and Huey Lewis was played.
Its back again to a Will idea from a fortnight ago. The voice recognition internal phones game whereby you ask for a famous person and see if you get through to them. Today they tried Nelson Mandela (Malcolm Loughborough), Alex Ferguson, Moira Stuart (it worked) but they chickened out. They then tried Michael Buerk but that turned out as Michael Flood.
Tim Westwood was walking around the building with a bunch of school children (no R Kelly wasnt with him, dont be worried). He was asking all the workers to tell the children what they were doing. Tim came up to Will who had to explain to the kids the feature Huey Lewis and the News with News, bearing in mind the last hit from Huey was about 1987 and these children were not even born. Will made the mistake of asking them if any of them had heard of him to which there was complete silence, apart from the tittering from Chris and Dave laughing at Wills expense.
Viaduct is coming back, to be launched this Friday at around 4:45pm. This time it will be for prizes rather than just cutting the callers off. Chris tried to demonstrate for any listeners the rules by testing out Will and Aled. At this point, I havent made up my mind whether to write all the questions out or not.
Chris predicted a Man Utd win tonight with David Beckham and Roy Keane on the scoresheet. Chris said we should all support the English teams in the European Cups, even if it is Man Utd. Dave sat on the fence. Chris said he would have bruises in his buttcheeks he was sitting on the fence so much. Chris let slip that the show will be going on the road again, probably every Wednesday for four weeks. Feeder will be on the show on May 2nd.

Daves Tedious Link
Hole Celebrity Skin - Holes are found in donuts - Donuts are deep fried in oil - Oil was the surname of the Popeyes girlfriend, Olive - Olive had a number 1 in 1997 with Your not Alone - Embrace also had a hit called Your Not Alone - Embrace are from Huddersfield - If you take the H and Field away you get udders which is basically nipples for cows - Nipples come in pairs as do shoes - Shoes have soles - Soul Man was a 1967 hit for Sam and Dave - Dave Pearce shares one name with Pierce Brosnan - Pierce Brosnan is of course from Ireland - Irish had to flee to Glasgow when there was a potato famine - Glasgow is in Scotland - Scotland borders the English county of Northumberland and one of Northumberlands tourist attractions is Hadrians Wall which was built by the Romans in 122 AD to prevent the Scots from going south of the border - Which links us to Robbie Williams and South Of The Border.

Monday 22nd April - Sam [Posted Tuesday, April 22 2003 by Sam]

Completly wrecking what Bob said underneath (sorry Bob), I've done a review from memory, which is why it's so short, but I think all main events are down here. May I apoligise for the general shortness and crappyness of my reviews over the past few weeks, especially to Bob whos had to sort it all, but very very limited internet access is my excuse. However all should return to normal next week.

Chris started the show talking about the fact that today is one of many of his and his girlfriends anniversaries. This is the anniversary of them 'seeing each other' the second time around. Apperently they were seeing each other, then had a big row and fell out, and this time last year was when
they sat down and talked through their problems and decided they were going to start 'seeing each other' again. The anniversary of them actually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend isn't until September, before them it was a part time basis, until Chris got fed up of his mates saying 'Is this your girlfriend', and Sophie got fed up with him quite happily saying 'no, we're just seeing each other'. Now, I know it's my problem and nobody else's, I know it's nothing to do with me, I know she's sweet and nice (she'd have to be to put up with Moyles), and I know I need counselling or more likely, locking up. But I hate her. I'm sorry, it's not fair, but I can't help it.

Dave talked about the fact that his girlfriends narked at him (again!) for not buying her an Easter Egg. He says he didn't realise he should have done, he thought they were for kids.
Dave: What's Easter for anyway?
Chris: eh?
Dave: What's it all about? It's just a commercial thing isn't it?
Hysterics from Chris and Will
Will: Dave, its a very important religous festival!

Chris and Will procieded to explain to Dave all about Jesus and what happened at Easter. He didn't know the story about the fish and bread either (you know, the feeding 5000 one, I forget it's 'official' name) despite 'thinking' he did GCSE Religous Education. The whole thing may have offended some people as Will worried about, but I for one thought it was hilarious.

Another 'Dave's Dictionary Defination's' today. Dave: Cricket bat, verb, a type of stocky, burrying
australian animal resembeling a small bear
Chris: Dave, thats a Wombat

As I mentioned on the message board, it seems Will might be nicking features from other radio stations. He played a game today called '2 degrees of seperation', very similar to a twist on '6 degrees of seperation' that Richard Bacon revealed as a new feature on his XFM show on Sunday. Now they weren't exactly the same and it could just be a coincidence, but one does wonder, Guilty or Not Guilty? Ooooh, it's more exciting than the Millionaire trial. Maybe. The idea of the game was for Chris and Dave to guess the two 'degrees of seperation' between Will, and snogging Tamsin Outwaite. It turns out that Will's girlfriend snogged Simon Pegg while she was at college, who snogs Tamsin in 'Final Demand'. This lead to alot of teasing directed at Will (but then what doesn't), mainly Chris asking if his girlfriend and Simon Pegg had slept
together.
Will: No!
Chris: Are you sure? I mean no offence but your girlfriends not gonna win the nun of the year award is she?
Will: [laughing] Stop it! No, it was just a fling
Chris: Was he a good kisser
Will: I didn't ask
Dave: Its funny this, because this feature could lead to one degree of seperation between you and your girlfriend Will

Throughout the show Chris played little trails saying 'The revenge - Viaduct is back - and this time it's serious' For those reletively new to the genius that is Mr Moyles and crew, Viaduct is an old feature of theirs they used to play everyday. I'm not even gonna attempt to explain it, you'll know soon enough.

Review Update [Posted Tuesday, April 22 2003 by Uglybob]

Slightly comical but here goes. In the last 4 days I was trying to be a normal person and have a life which is why there was no review today. I have been informed that todays Tedious Link was Hole and Celebrity Skin. This is what the next few days will be like

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday - Full review by Uglybob
Monday 28th April - Back to normal with
Sidla - 3 to 4pm
Sam - 4 to 4:30pm
Uglybob - 4:30 to 5:45pm

May I stress to the other reviewers that whilst it is quicker doing review as it happens, remember to word it in the past tense. It is much easier for people to read what happened rather that what happens.

Friday 18th April 2003 [Posted Friday, April 18 2003 by Uglybob]

(havent received review from Sidla, I have it taped but to be honest, I dont think they'd be many highlights bearing in mind the rest of the show. If you do want the first hour review then email me)

Chris does not want to be working at all, he wants to be out in the sun, so this is the reason he gives for having no material. Dave decided it was time to revert to ‘phone call fun’ as they normally do when they have nothing to say. They play the game where Chris phones a celebrity and Dave and Will guess who it is. First was Richard Bacon, who didn’t have his phone on and had a really weird sounding answer machine message so Dave and Will couldn’t figure out who it was. Next was also a an answering machine, this time belonging to Ralf Little, though not much of a guessing game as it started ‘Hello, this is Ralf’. They finally managed to get through to someone, Gail Porter who was in the car with husband Dan and baby Honey, on the way to see the in-laws.
Dave is going to the liverpool derby and taking his girlfriend somewhere romantic on sunday. Chris wanted to ring her but Dave said no. Chris ignored him and phoned her but she had it on answerphone. Chris recalled the story again about the time where Dave pointed out a hotel in Birmingham where he first saw his fiancees boobs. Shes in a bad mood because she had to clean up after Daves mess.
Chris received a call from some Brummies during a track and found them very funny for all the wrong reasons. They were so excited to hear Chris and then Will tried to be Chris in the worst accent ever. Chris called them numpties. Chris opened the calls and they all seemed to be rag students.
Chris was on till 6 but he played non stop summer hits. This included MC Mikey G and DJ Sven with Holiday Rap.

Daves Tedious Link
Yesterdays track was Travis and Driftwood - Driftwood is used to make rafts by people who are shipwrecked like Robinson Crusoe - Robinson Crusoe had long messy hair like Bob Geldof - Bob Geldof shares the same christian name as Bob Holness - Holness sounds a bit like harness which is a safety device worn by abseilers - Despite the name, abseiling has nothing to do with sailing which involves wind and yachts - Yacht rhymes with pot which is a home for house plants - House plants have nothing to do with transplants which is when a doctor gives you a new organ - Organ rhymes with morgan as in Morgan Freeman, the award winning actor - Morgan Freeman starred in Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves alongside Kevin Costner and Kevin Costner is a big player in Hollywood and has probably (?) met Michael Jackson - Which links us to Michael Jackson and Dont Stop Till You Get Enough.

Wednesday 16th April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Wednesday, April 16 2003 by Uglybob]

Dave spent the night in Woking with Will and he came across the mighty ‘Hogsback’ transmitter, generating 4000 Watts of music p-p-p-power! Apparently Dave was in Woking seeing a man about a dog, in other words, discussing wedding arrangements. Chris said he’d never been to Woking, but he didn’t feel he was missing out on anything. Will said that there wasnt really much to see in Woking apart from a silver statue of an alien, in recognition of H. G. Wells. Chris asked if anybody recognised him and Dave while they were there and Will said they hadn’t. Will said that people never really recognise him unless he doesn’t want them to, like if he was hiring out an adult video for example. Chris jumped on this comment, and asked Will how often he went to rent out a mucky video. Will said he never did, but once he went to rent out ‘The Blair Witch Project’ and almost ended up hiring the ‘The Erotic Blair Witch Project’, purely by accident of course.
Today’s trial new feature was ‘Huey Lewis or the News’. Chris asked people to vote for either Huey Lewis if they want to hear a Huey Lewis and the News record at 4 o’clock, or News if they want to hear the news.
Dave’s Dictionary Definitions day 2:
Dave: “Today’s word is peanut – adjective. A small ring-shaped cake which is made dough and covered in sugar.”
Chris: “Dave, that’s a doughnut.”
I think this feature was taken from the Mark and Lard reject cupboard.

Surprisingly people voted in favour of Heuy Lewis in the brand new feature ‘Huey Lewis or the News’, so at 4pm Chris played their classic hit ‘It’s Hip to be Square’.
The team had yet another new feature to play today, Fire Things At Will. A listener suggested Fire Will would be far better, a bit harsh, I like poor ickle Will. The game was all good fun until Dave chucked a full beer can at him. According to Chris off air Will had a real strop about it and really had a go at Dave, as it was dangourous and could have hurt. Chris told him not to be such a girl and found the whole thing very amusing, but I think this might have been to lighten up the situation, it seemed there might have been a genuine arguement as Will seemed more annoyed than he was letting on and Dave was absolutly silent. To diffuse the situation Chris told Will to get his own back by throwing 3 full cans of beer at Dave, while all Dave had to defend himself was a red nose left over from Comic Relief. At the last minute Will pulled out saying he wasn't going to as he is 'a responsible producer'. Chris: Pass 'em here and I will then Will: No! Chris: Oh go on, oh we'll go back to hide and seek tomorrow shall we, that safe enough for ya Will? But remember to check with Health and Safety first.
Chris had the exclusive first play of the new DJ Sammy record Sunlight. He played all of 60 seconds of it as he thought it was rubbish. Will also ended any chances of the Stereophonics coming back on the show by saying he wasnt too keen on their new single was a bit ropey.
Ready Steady Call on Man Utd VS Arsenal - Nerds aplenty on the phone, Man Utd were the more popular. Dave did another dictionary definition on chopsticks but he said the definition for dipstick instead. Chris hated the Sean Paul record. Chris asked why he wanted to shave that thing geordie and rebecca at the start of the record. Chris talked about the body painted women on page 3 of the Sun today. Chris said that he once on another radio station painted the Chelsea colours on a female but in the interests of balance he also had to paint a fat mans belly.

Daves Tedious Link
Bob Marley No Woman No Cry - Bob Marleys band was called the wailers but were different to the sort of whalers who go hunting with big boats and harpoons - If you reverse the word harpoons and take away the har you get snoop as in Doggy Dogg - Dog rhymes with tog which are found in duvets - Duvet rhymes with Uwe as in Uwe Rosler who used to play for Manchester City - Man City are managed by Kevin Keegan - Kevin Keegan was famous in the 70s for having a bubble perm as was Whitesnake frontman David Coverdale - Coverdale sounds a bit like Craven Dale which is so good the cows want it back - Cows are famous for having lots of stomachs and some have as many as 5ive and cows are transported in country lanes in rural areas using the skills of a cow herd whose job is to herd the cows and make sure the cows keep on moving - Which links us to 5ive and Keep On Movin'

Now im not knocking Daves choices but 5ive? Yes its a decent pop record but come on, theres so many songs he hasnt picked that are classics. Heres the top 10 hes missed

1. Clash - Should I Stay Or Should I Go
2. Duran Duran - Ordinary World
3. Connells - 74/75
4. Presidents of USA - Lump
5. Semisonic - Secret Smile
6. Barenaked Ladies - One Week
7. The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds
8. Depeche Mode - Just Cant Get Enough
9. Squeeze - Cool For Cats
10. Divine Comedy - National Express

Tuesday 15th April 2003 (Sidla, Sam, Bob) [Posted Tuesday, April 15 2003 by Uglybob]

Chris and the team were brainstorming for new features last night. Some of the ideas were Dingo Bingo, Marti Pellows Magic Minute, Farm Academy, Shame Academy, Top Tramps (this always comes up every brainstorming but never materalizes) and BBC Fight Club which would involve Will picking a fight with some engineers at the BBC club around the corner.
Anyway, all in all, they came up with around 40 new features that they will be trying out during the next few weeks. The Daniel Beddingfield song reminds Chris of a scene from the Wedding Singer. Chris had acquired the audio from the scene and was about to play it when Will warned Chris that it contained a lot of
swearing when it got to the heavy metal part. Chris told Will and Dave to fill while he checked it. To fill, Will told Dave it had F’s, B’s, C’s and all sorts of colourful words in it. Chris told the pair that they’re crap at filling. Meanwhile Chris had sorted the Wedding Singer audio and it didn’t really sound anything like the Daniel Beddingfield song.
One of the first new features is ‘Dave’s Dictionary Definitions’. The idea of the feature was that Dave read out a dictionary definition and completely screwed it up. After he’s finished the definition Chris corrects Dave. After the debut, people who completely missed the point of this potential award-winning feature emailed in to point out that a monorail is not in fact a verb, but a noun. Chris had a rant because these people are too thick to listen to the show.
Chris talked about the Marine serving in Iraq who shot 2 bullet holes in his helmet and the assuming reporters thought he'd escaped enemy fire. He's son got to meet all the Everton players until he confessed that he wasn't actually a war hero. Chris thought it was hilarious.
After playing 'Beautiful', Chris commented that Christina Aguilera is 'mucky'. This sent Will off into hysterics for some bizarre reason, he said it was because mucky was a northern word and it didnt sound right in a Surrey accent like his own. This decended into a very strange link with Chris and Dave repeating mucky over and over, while Will laughed his head off. I worry, I really do.
Chris thrust another new feature, possibly the best of a bad bunch called My mum is younger than Will. Arthur, 8 had a mommy aged 31 called Sophie and a little girl called Christina Aguilera who replied yes and no to every question. Dave and Will both agreed that Chris had no rapport with the kids. This came with camp titles music.
Chris sang No decent chorus and No decent lyrics to the new T.A.T.U song. He absolutely hated the new song. Chris said that its annoyingly catchy but in a rubbish way. Chris said that the new Justin Timberlake record has a sound like a supermarket announcement tannoy.
Jingle Justin returned with Celebrities in Chris' House with Atomic Kitten. Quite dull and Chris called it a work in progress. Chris was wrong in that he guessed that the new R Kelly song would be a ballad with a gospel choir. Chris and the team couldnt make out what he said at the very beginning. Will got it nearly right and decided to say it himself in a fake American accent.
Chris stood up to the people criticizing Robbie Williams for only getting to 43 in the Billboard album chart in America. In America they release it the same day as it gets played on the radio whereas here we get the songs 2 months beforehand so you can automatically guess whats going on terms of promotion.

Daves Tedious Link
Ash - Ash are from Northern Ireland as is Jimmy Cricket - Jimmy Cricket is famous for wearing hats as is Colonel Gaddafi - Daffy Duck has a lisp as do the Spanish - The Spanish are legendary sailors - Sailor rhymes with Taylor as in John Taylor who was in Duran Duran - Duran Duran are from Birmingham as are UB40 - UB40 took their name from an Unemployment Benefit form - Form shares many of the same letters as the word firm, one word not to describe Lisa Riley - Lisa Riley shares her surname with Mark Riley who is better known as Lard - Lard likes football, used to play in a band and play guitar and probably had long hair and in that respect you could say that he was a bit like Bob Marley - Which links us to Bob Marley and No Woman No Cry

Monday 14th April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Monday, April 14 2003 by Uglybob]

Chris had a very busy weekend involving plenty of alcohol. Chris went to see Leeds play at the weekend with his mum. After the game Chris offered to give his mum £100 if she got on to the Spurs team coach and tell them how well they played. Chris’ mum replied £100? Not a problem!”and she got on the coach and shouted “Well played team!. A voice came from the back of the coach saying “Off the coach please, Mrs Moyles”. Chris wasn’t sure how the person at the back of the coach knew it was his mum, but he said he didn’t pay up. Chris and Dave want to find some new exciting features, so he’s done the old trick of opening the phone lines to allow listeners to think of names for features. Some of my favourites were ‘Dunk Dave, Aleds Salads’ and ‘Kill Will.
The team had marathon superstar and all round British champion Paula Radcliffe on the phone. Her first comment was that she was ‘a bit sore’ (!) after yesterday, as she tried to persuade Chris to do it next year. He didn’t approve of that idea much. She nearly didn’t make the marathon at all due to a girl on a bike running into her. A similar thing happened last year as well, so maybe it’s some bizarre good luck ritual organised by Garry (her husband and trainer – why do all athletes marry their trainers?)? He apparently made some sort of hand gesture at Chris for that comment. Dave and Chris think they should have some sort of on-air competition where the winner gets to mow Paula down for next year. The next three weeks she will be doing no running at all, but will become a normal slob and eating lots of chocolate, as well as having fish n chips for dinner tonight.

Two people ran the marathon from radio one, one in just over 4 hours and the other in 5 hours 22 minutes, both highly respectable times but not quite as fast as Paula’s 2 hours 15 minutes. Chris and Dave want to do the marathon walking and stopping at every pub on the way, a worth goal I’m sure you’ll agree.

Chris played a track from Huey Lewis and the News’s new album, called “I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time” with a sound clip with the same phrase accompany it. Chris got ever so slightly over excited about playing a Huey Lewis track on radio one and started screeching “Alex, oi Alex, head of music, I’m playing Huey Lewis and the News, I’ve gone mad, and you can’t stop me!!!”

Chris Brainstorming (Asking listeners to give them titles and they will think of idea)

Aleds Woo Woo Challange
Slaphead or Slapper
Drill Will
Blame It On Tongy
Wildlife on Will
Bogey Bonanza
Long Dong Ping Pong
Chris' Missus
Walking With Eggs
Ale Stars
Wheres Willy
Luvvly Knockers
Scratch & Sniff
Lick It & Stick It
Spot The Ginge
Vittys Shitty
Farmers & Their Llamas
Thunderbeef
Stars In Their Bras

Chris was heavy drinking again at the weekend. Former Gym trainer Jane told him that she always knew if he had a drink the night before because his face was more bloaty. A lot of bloat today then as he stayed and drank till 5am. Chris has a new song at Karoake. As you might be aware, Chris loves his karoake and his current favourite is Aint That A Kick In The Head. Chris tried and succeeded with a new song, namely the Tony Christie song Avenues and Alleyways. If you dont know Tony Christie, he was a 60's easy listening crooner from Sheffield who came into the limelight again in 1999, guest singing on The All Seeing I single Walk Like A Panther.
Chris dad has grew a beard and is off the booze for lent, so you could say that Chris drank for both of them. His Dad and his Uncle Jim sang Fields Of Athenry (Irish song). Chris said he needed to learn 2 songs before going back. Chris wanted Will, Dave and Aled to sing some karoake on the show tomorrow songs that he choosed. Chris wanted Will to sing Windmills Of Your Mind. Will said he felt it was too high. Dave was given Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head. Aled was given Close To You.

Daves Tedious Link
Coldcut Doctorin The House - Yazz guest vocalled that track - Yazz was tall as is Geoff Capes - Capes are worn by Superheroes - Most superheroes can fly unlike Mr T - Mr T is scared of Air travel as is Jo Whiley - Wil E Coyote is the arch nemesis of Roadrunner - Road runners dont get much better than Paula Radcliffe who shattered the world womans marathon record yesterday with the stunning time of 2 hours 15 minutes and 25 seconds - 2 hours 15 is roughly the amount of time you spend in the cinema based upon you watching an average length film and also taking into account ticket purchase, buying pick n mix and watching the trailers - Trailers of a different sort are what Eminem was brought up in - Eminem knows Dre - Dre rhymes with tray as in Milk Tray - Milk Tray sort of rhymes with Milky Way and the Milky Way is something you have to travel through if you were to say a girl that came from the planet mars to earth - Which links us to Ash and Girl From Mars

Dave asked Chris what year, Chris said 1997 and Dave said correct. In fact they are wrong, it was released in 1995. See, theyve been around longer than you think. Chris said that BA Barracas was scared of flying and Mr T wasnt. Will read out another flaw saying that the Milky Way is the name of our galaxy that contains both mars and earth so you dont have to go through the milky way to get from mars to earth. Dave claimed a technicality.

Friday 11th April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Friday, April 11 2003 by Uglybob]

Will was not there today, so producing the show is a man with plenty of experience - as a tape operative, its Dan the Man from Norn Iron. It was Chris' mum's birthday today and Chris said he made her a cup of tea while she was in bed. He said he bought her the Coldplay album and he said he considered getting her the Eminem album, but he was concerned about the bad language.
Chris said he never gets the big names in music, because Jo Whiley always snaps them up before him. Dave
commented that it's because they're now gaining credibility in the music industry. They got talking about how Badly Drawn Boy did the soundtrack to 'About a Boy' and Chris and Dave reminisced about the time they were running
in the park during the filming and actually made it into one of the shots. Chris said that the film's success was all down to him, even though he didn't make the final cut.
Chris asked the listeners to phone in with questions for Mr. Drawn Boy. One caller phoned up and said the once Badly Drawn Boy was playing his guitar on the street and passers by thought he was a tramp busking. Chris said that he would be like a Supertramp. Chris said the caller wasn't being very PC, because he generalised that all tramps busk on the streets, and yet there are many tramps out there with no talent at all.

Today’s guest was Badly Drawn Boy. He is currently touring and says he’s one of the best live acts on the planet even if he does say so himself. Nothing like massaging ones ego.
He listens to Chris a fair bit, he heard all the praise Chris gave the ‘About a Boy’ soundtrack and said he really appreciated it. It was hard work so he’s glad it didn’t go unnoticed. He informed Chris and Dave that the show is almost entertaining now – it was bit shaky a couple of years ago.
Despite Dave warning him not to, Chris brought up the Wombles thing. Mr Drawn Boy however seems to have a good sense of humour and said it was the X factor he needed to get to number one, however the song only went to 14. He performed ‘All Possibilities’ in the Live Lounge.
He made £13.74 from the All Possibilities video from busking outside Waterloo Station. Its the first time hes busked.
Dave asked if he was good at drawing and asked him to draw a horse. He tried to draw the winner of the Grand National. He backed Supreme Glory who came second. Art was his best subject at school. Dave rated him great at drawing horses. He signed it and they are going to give it away.
He is doing One Big Weekend in Manchester. He met Chris in 2003 and told him off for not playing his records at that time. Chris said he should merchandise his hats. He will join The White Stripes, Feeder and the Stereophonics.
He is writing songs at the moment and Chris asked them to write a song for them. The single is out April 17th with a DVD format. Hes only plugging it because its great. He played Something To Talk About with a botch job of The Wombles at the end where he sung The Wimbles of Wombledom.

Chris had to plug the Ian Wright National Lottery Show. Macy Gray, Craig David and Robbie Williams will be on the show. Chris took the piss out of Ian Wright for being devoid of any talent. Chris decided to do the lottery show himself. He wanted to do the voiceover trails for the show. Chris played the new Puretone record which is very poor follow up to Addicted to Bass.
DJ Lottie filled in for Pete Tong, so to speak. He commented on her lovely ass.

Daves Tedious Link
Sugarhill Gang Rappers Delight - Rappers delight should not be confused with Turkish Delight which is a kind of strange pink perfumed confectionery made by Frys - Barry Fry is the manager of Peterborough - Peterborough are known as the Posh - Posh Spice is the nickname of David Beckhams missus Victoria - Victoria Wood is a Lancastrian comedian as is Peter Kay - Kays are famous for catalogues - Catalogue sounds a bit like Captains log which is a naval diary kept by seaman - David Seamans hair is inspired by the style of Highwaymen - Highway Patrol was the responsibility of Ponch and John in C.H.I.P.S - Chips in this country are traditionally served with salt, vinegar and tomato sauce, however in European countries such as Germany they call them Frites and serve them with Mayonnaise - And when you think of German cuisine you think of their penchant for salami and ham which are collectively known as cold cuts - Which links us to Coldcut and Doctorin The House from 1988

Thursday 10th April 2003 (Sam.Bob) [Posted Thursday, April 10 2003 by Uglybob]

Big Blubber 3
Aled - Excellent week for Aled, made both sessions, and, erm, did good 'girl'.
Will - Has produced some really good running this week, so he can have a year off.
Dave - Despite being crap generally, due to the fact that he was running like a girl or alternatively like a man with a stick on fire shoved up his bum, Dave did some good running this week. Have a banana.
Chris - Chris is the best athlete Scott has ever met, and keeps pulling all the girls due to his enomous leg muscles, and if Scott was gay, he'd definatly go for him.
Guess who got licky licky brown nose? Well Scott actually. Due to working so hard he's having a much needed holiday sking, so if you haven't already guessed the reason the team report was so weird they were all recorded by Chris doing a rubbish accent.

The team recieved some presents from esure for plugging them so much. They had a stress ball which when squeezed said 'calm down dear' and a specially made cartoon saying 'calm down dear, it's the Chris Moyles Show'
You know I said Chris and Dave were going to prepare some ads for today? Well, they didn't. But they did create three more on the spot.
Lacking is what i'd sum up todays show as. Three Guess Whos filled the 4:30 to 5pm part. Will saw Ian Wright in the after show bar because he was at the recording of his director friends childrens show Xchange, Ian was there because he had just done the Lottery Show. Aled saw Fame Academy's Richard Park. Chris noticed Ruby Wax driving in her car.
The 5:10pm link was very short as Chris revealed that he had been informed that there was a picture of Aled aged 17 on a website. If you type Aled into a google search you might find a young Aled in a video clip wearing a brown waistcoat and what Dave described as a bum head. An emailer noticed that Wes advert for Sara Cox Breakfast show included a flaw whereby whenever he switches on the microwave, Sara is turned off and when it stops, Sara comes back on thus giving Chris a new nickname for Wes One Plug Wes.

Daves Tedious Link
Charlatans North Country Boy - Charlatans are the most famous band to come from Northwich - If you take the TH out of northwich you get Norwich - Norwich is the home of Alan Partridge - Partridges live in pear trees as do pears - Pears rhymes with fares which is what a bus conductor collects on a bus - Buses can sometimes be double deckers - Double Deckers is also the name of a chocolate bar - Chocolate is made from Cocoa - Coco ryhmes with Loco as in Loco In Acapulco by the Four Tops which featured in Buster starring Phil Collins - Phil Collins had an album called No Jacket Required - Jacket potatoes are baked in the oven - Oven rhymes with Govan which is a ship building district of Glasgow - Glasgow is in Scotland - Scotland is famous for its highlands which are full of hills and if you put the word Suger before hill and the word Gang in front of it you get the Sugarhill Gang - Which links us to Sugarhill Gang and Rappers Delight.

Wednesday 9th April 2003 (Sidla, Sam, Bob) [Posted Wednesday, April 9 2003 by Uglybob]

[b]BADLY DRAWN BOY ON THE SHOW ON FRIDAY[/b]

Chris had gained an exclusive preview of the new Michael Winner advert. The clip featured a carpet spillage and Michael saying 'Calm down dear! We can claim for it on our insurance policy!' The team thought it was very funny. The advert will be shown during tonight's episode of The Bill. Chris had to play an advert for digital TV featuring Dave Pearce and an old woman. When it had finished Chris said 'What the hell was that?' Dave replied in a Michael Winner voice 'It's a commercial!'
The team made personal commercials for the listeners in honour of the genius that is Michael Winner and his two new commercials being aired tonight. The only criteria was that each one had to have the ‘calm down dear’ phrase in it. The first one was for a bloke called Ryan who had friends over from New Zealand who he hasn’t seen in a couple of years. Then there was an ad for Kelly selling her car, and one advertising an action at a school. To not milk a good thing (yes I know, Chris not wanting to milk something, hope he’s feeling ok) Chris and Dave decided they were going to do some work tonight (nope, they can’t be feeling right can they?) and make up some ads in advance to play tomorrow. At last a new and original feature, happy days! This feature made and will continue to make good listening as long as they don’t over do it which tends to be their habit. Fingers crossed.
Chris said that Dermot O'Dreary had stolen their idea for Re:covered. Chris and Dave said that on Saturday mornings they had bands coming on doing one cover and their current single. Chris said that if he doesnt get royalties, he will go round and dye his hair blue. (Spot the flaw there people)
Dave is staying in tonight to watch the second episode of 40 with Eddie Izzard and Hugo Speer. Chris asked if there was any nudity in it. Will mentioned that they saw Izzards bits in it. They couldnt describe anything else about it. Chris said that he had either Playboy Freeview or that to get his blood pumping. Will is away tonight to see director friend Alison recording her television show.
Chris was sent some Beer and Curry. It was Indian stuff. Aled found it hard to say Rogan Josh. Aled had a Curry Quiz which was hastily set up. Aled had to pronounce the Indian Menu correctly and if he got it wrong, he had to wolf 2 curries down. Aled thought the mild korma was so hot. Chris said that Phil came out of the closet, a private joke that noone but he got. The others thought it wasnt hot at all. To sum the show up, a bit thin on the ground but it wasn't intolerable.

Daves Tedious Link
Take That Back For Good - Back for Good was written by Gary Barlow - Gary shares his surname with Ken Barlow - Ken Barlow is played by William Roache - If you add the word cock to roache, you get the cockroach - A cockroach is a creepy crawly with a hard shell - Other creatures which have a shell are mussels and turtles - Turtles rhymes with Birtles as in Gary Birtles who used to play for Forest - Forest Fruits is the name of popular yoghurt flavour - Yoghurt is made of bacteria much like mould - Molde is in north wales as is Wrexham - Wrexham is the birthplace of Tim Vincent - Tim Vincent used to present Blue Peter as did Richard Bacon - Bacon is sold by a butcher - Pat Butcher wears big earrings as do fortune tellers and some fortune tellers, a long long time ago and certainly not the vast majority who operate today who im sure provide an inciteful and value for money service, were whats traditionally known as Charlatans - Which links us to the Charlatans and North Country Boy.

Flaws
Yeast causes mould, not bacteria
Cockroaches dont have a shell, they have an exoskeleton

Tuesday 8th April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Tuesday, April 8 2003 by Uglybob]

One of Dave's friends got married recently, but he wasn't invited to the wedding, only the reception. Chris said that that'd be because Dave wasn't a close enough friend, but Dave said the wedding was for close family only. Chris was trying to find out how much Dave spent on the wedding present, but Dave wouldn't comment. He thought it'd be rude to talk about money, but Chris thought it was because Dave was too tight fisted to spend much on the wedding present.
The team had Michael Winner on the phone. The ‘calm down dear’ commercials have apparently sold loads of insurance policies for esure. All the Ads were shot outside Michaels house. He used to be a really bad driver; he once crashed through some railings and into someone’s living room. He has written about Chris in his Times column, full of lots of praise apparently. It’s out Sunday if you’re interested.
Chris and Dave played the page 3 game, where Chris reads out the name of a page 3 model and Dave guesses her age. Quite basically, he was rubbish at it. I dont see the point of this game as noone cares. How many people when staring at Page 3 care what age they are.
Will sent Esure an email asking them to contact them for the new advert and said that Esure sent them an email from a PR person called Sam with the words
Oh my gosh, i have an email from Will!!!!!!!!!!! She lives in Rygate. Chris asked how far Rygate was from Will and he said he could do it in 20 minutes, Chris said he knew about that but he was asking how far he was from her. Chris asked Sam to email back to say if they were a man or a woman. Chris said that they could match him up but Will said he was happily in a relationship. Chris asked if he had dumped the ginger then now. Chris was also disappointed no Page 3 girls rang up.
Lynn Peachy said that she saw Comedy Dave Vitty on Sky One lunchtime talking about David Coulthard with a perma-tan. Chris' mum is down again so that means he must have a lot of washing. Chris wanted Dave to take her on a night out. Daves Telly recommendations was the Man Utd VS Real Madrid match, 10pm called 40 starring Eddie Izzard, 11:20pm with The Club starring Sam Fox. There was a talk upon Sam Fox's sexuality with the general consensus saying she was a lesbian. Chris said he watched ITV2 a bit with a fat Scouse biffer getting her boobs out.

Daves Tedious Link
Reef Set The Record Straight - The worlds most famous reef is the Great Barrier Reef in Australia - The indiginous people of Australia are called aborigines - Aborigines play the diggeredoo as does Rolf Harris - Rolf Harris is one of the worlds greatest artists much like Leonardo Da Vinci was in his time - Despite their similar sounding name, Leonardo Da Vinci is not related to Leonardo DiCaprio who is the worlds most fanciable man-boy - Man-boy means much the same as Manchild which was a hit in 1989 for Neneh Cherry - Neneh shares her surname with Trevor Cherry who used to play with Leeds - Leads are used for walking your dog - Dogs have their own calendar system much like the Chinese - The Chinese are big fans of bicycles - The bicycle was first invented in Nottingham by Sir Walter Raleigh* - Rally cars are fitted with specially shaped safety seats to hold the driver in place and provide a type of support which is good for the back - Which leads us predictably to Back For Good by Take That.

*Sir Walter Raleigh was born hundreds of years before the bicycle and he brought back tomatoes and tobacco to England. Frenchman Carl Von Drese invented the bicycle.

Monday 7th April 2003 (Sam/Sidla/Bob) [Posted Monday, April 7 2003 by Uglybob]

Will has a 'Guess Who... phoned me this morning'. Chris thought he knew who he was, so he tried to lead the others down the Les Dennis track. It was Michael Winner. Will answered the phone and the voice said 'Hello, is that William Kinder?'. Michael heard that Chris had been playing the dialogue from his commercial and wanted to write about it in an article for a newspaper. Will was really panicking while he was speaking to Mr. Winner and he couldn't remember
the clip that they played. Michael said 'Do you mean Calm down dear?'. Will asked Mr. Winner if he would like to be in a telephone interview with the show, and he said he could do it either tomorrow or Wednesday.
Chris spent the weekend in Brighton and caught a bit too much sun on his face. Aled said he was a bit scared because every time he looks at Chris he thinks he's angry because he's red in the face. In reality, Chris said he's in a very good mood because it's a great day in London and he's fully refreshed after a great weekend.
Dave and Chris got sent some gnomes from a listener, after Chris received one last week from Ben Sherman and Dave was jealous (according to Chris, mind). The gnomes came dressed in a Leeds and Everton strip for the respective fans and while Chris thought they were a bit crap Dave seemed more pleased with his than he was letting on.
Chris mentioned that fat boy slim did something very un-fat boy slimish, but he wasn’t sure whether to say what it was or not. During the next record he got a phone call from Mr Norman Cook himself saying he had spoken to his manager and Chris was completely forbidden to mention it. Which of course meant he got hundreds of begging e-mails and phone calls to tell the story.
When Chris has an anti climax, does he milk it for all its worth, just ask his girlfriend. Anyway, Chris had a secret about what Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim did at the weekend which Norman was embarrassed about. Chris managed to drag this out for almost half an hour until he finally revealed that Norman, Zoe and Woody went to a farm and Norman got to ride a tractor.
Whilst Chris and Dave was hob-nobbing and having a life, Will was back in Woking being bored as per usual, you would almost think hes estranged from his current squeeze. Will got his haircut in a top quality hairdressers where a flat top costs under a tenner. Chris cajouled Will into naming the barbers shop which was Hairy Poppins. You know when I think quality, I think of hairy poppins. Chris wondered whether there was a Hairy Poppins website but then quickly thought of the rammifications of typing that name into a search engine so asked people not to do it. Chris went through the usual hairdressing names like Curl Up and Dye (theres one in Portglenone here). Dave said theres a hairdressers in Liverpool called Jack The Snipper.
Emma Bunton - a case of career suicide or not, hmm tricky. You get dumped by your record label and then you get Simon Fuller on your side (famously linked to humping her but I add allegedly). The song sounds like a James Bond rejected song. £200,000 was spent on the video out of Fullers own pocket and I dont see this song going anywhere. You stick her on every damn show at the weekend making sure she gets maximum exposure to cleavage to take your mind off the fact the songs crap and probably pay a stack to beg them to let her sing or show the video. Love must be deaf as well as blind. Duncan from Blue is 24 today, whjch lead to Chris doing impressions.

Daves Tedious Link
Chemical Brothers Block Rockin Beats - Tom and Ed from the Chemical Brothers are a double act consisting of one long haired member and one short haired member and in that respect you could say that they are like Penn and Teller - Penn and Teller shouldnt be mistaken for a pannetella which is a type of cigar (dont know how to spell it, im not high up in cigars ok) - Cigars come from Cuba - Cuba rhymes with tuba which makes up part of a brass section in along with the trombone and the cornet - Cornets are also found in an ice cream van - Ice Cream Vans play musical tunes to attract children as did the Pied Piper - Pied Piper has the same surname as Billie Piper - Piper Alfa on the other hand was North Sea Oil rig which famously caught fire a few years ago and had to be put out by Red Adair - When you think of the colour red you may think of Liverpools disappointing result at the weekend which saw them slip a place down the premiership below the mighty Everton or you may think of Little Red Riding Hood or you may think of Red Cap which starred Tamzin Outhwaite whose advert is currently on the telly and that track is todays tedious link - Which links us to Reef and Set The Record Straight

Friday 4th April 2003 (Sidla/Bob) [Posted Friday, April 4 2003 by Uglybob]

Will had finally got the BBC internal phone game working. The game involved ringing the BBC phone server and saying the name of the person you wished to connect to. The server would then try to recognise the name you read out and connect you to that person. Chris rang the number and read out random objects and funny words, and it gave hilarious results.
He tried reading Steve Lamacq in a Lamacq voice and it tried to connect him to a Steve Hall. He tried Scott Mills in a camp voice and it tried to connect to Scott Mohan. He also tried Spoony but it didn't recognise it. In a later link they tried ringing Robbie Williams and it actually tried to connect him to Robbie Williams! There were other hilarious ones, but too many to mention.
After the news Chris played Come Undone and dedicated it to the BBC's very own Robbie Williams. Chris had obtained a clip of this morning's 'The Wright Stuff' where 'Beth in the booth' said that she fancied Chris, and she likes men with a beer belly. They had also got a picture of Chris from when he was on holiday and he had a big beer belly that they kept flashing on the screen.
Will had a Guess Who. He was standing outside Radio 1 and they walked past. It was Les Dennis again. Chris the Les must be stalking him because they seem to see him every day. Chris invited Les in to help with the show, if he's listening and he's at a loose end.
Chris had got the coup of the century as he got the immortal Huey Lewis to record some jingles and soundbites for the show and promoting their forthcoming tour. Chris kept playing them during the 4:10 link and then inserted Michael Winner into the mix and Will asked questions and Chris played the answer via the wizardry of the edit button.
Chris said he thought Christina Aguilera really sexy but he didnt know why girls seem to hate her. Dave reckoned that they felt threatened by her, but Chris and Dave said they certainly didnt. Chris said that she looked as though she puts her make up on with a cheese grater and he isnt keen on the bolts on the face.
Chris said he wants to give Colin Murray a DJ Masterclass after he spoke over the end of the Red Hot Chili Peppers Cant Stop last night. Bobby & Nihal were in and said their show is summed up Asian Devastation in the UK Nation. They also said its the baddest radio show on Radio 1. Chris said that he thought Dreem Teem were the baddest. Chris called them The Krankies of the Asian Beats. Nihal took the piss out of Chris clothes saying that it looked like something from the club book, 2.99 for 14 weeks.
Chris had more one liners for Will, as he loves them. Chris said that Will would have a Friday Night Chuckle segment.
Dave was going on a romantic trip with his fiancee to Edinburgh. He had not told her that all the historic buildings didnt cost anything this weekend as a special offer. Chris invited people to go up and ask Dave for his autograph. Chris asked the listeners to send in emails or phone up for places for Dave to go. The Western Bar was recommended until they found a website about it and it was a Country and Western/Strip Joint bar.

Daves Tedious Link
Def Leppard Animal - Def Leppard are from Sheffield and are fronted by Joe Elliott - Joe shares his surname with Missy Elliott and Fred Elliott - Elliott was the name of the little boy in ET - ET bears an uncanny resemblance to Gail in Corrie - Corrie rhymes with Sorry - Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Word Up was a hit for Cameo and later covered by Glaswegian rockers Gun - Guns are undoubtedly the weapon of choice for armed robbers - Robber rhymes with dobber - Dobber is an australian term for a grass - Supergrass are fronted by Gaz Coombs - Gaz Coombs hair to keep it looking healthy luxourious and full of body - Body doubles are used by actors and sometimes tyrant dictators - Dictators are known for wearing berets - Berets were invented by the French - The French eat snails - Snails are related to slugs and slugs are prevented from becoming a problem with the use of slug pellets which contain a kind of deadly anti slug chemical - Which links us to Chemical Brothers and Block Rockin Beats

Thursday 3rd April 2003 [Posted Thursday, April 3 2003 by Uglybob]

Im sorry for the short review as there was noone to review before 4:30pm and nothing much happened in my bit. Oh well, here goes. Chris and Dave had a Guess Who which was Les Dennis. Chris announced that Feeder will be coming into the studio on the 2nd May 2003 to perform in the Live Lounge on their show. I know its a long way off and Dave said that it was bit of a blunder that they mentioned them live in Manchester for Radio 1. Chris said that he is so excited who is in next door and feared that the fans would burst down the doors to catch a glimpse of them. Chris said that the mighty Scooter were being interviewed next door. The team burst out laughing at them with Chris crying They look so German.
Dave is going to a mates wedding at the weekend. Graham and Donna are getting married in Edinburgh. Dave will take her on a long romantic walk on Sunday morning but... the Everton match against Newcastle is on Sky Sports. Chris asked why he goes for a walk instead of buying her something like Flowers. Will went on about a Camera obscurer in Edinburgh and bored the pants off everything. Chris said he is a king of romance. Chris invited the girlfriend out to the football last night.

Daves Tedious Link
Smash Mouth All Star - an all star performance was given by Wayne Rooney last night as he proved without a doubt that he is the future of football in this country - Country and Western is a genre of music that made Willie Nelson a star - Willie Nelson shares the same surname as Radio 1 DJ Trevor Nelson - Trevor Nelson lives his life on the cutting edge of cool - Cool Runnings starring the late John Candy was all about the Jamaican bobsleigh team of 1988 - Bobsleigh is normally popular in cold climates such as Norway or Lapland - Lapland is home to Father Xmas - Father Xmas is famous for his long beard as are Dusty and Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top - ZZ Top are always last in the Alphabetical list of bands - Bands rhymes with hands - Hands have fingers unlike fish which have fins - Fish come in 2 different varieties, seafish and freshwater fish like trout - Trout rhymes with Shout - Shout is what you would have to do if you were cornered inadvertedly by a visually impaired tiger or a Deaf leopard - Which links us to Def Leppard and Animal

Here come the flaws
1. Fish come in 3 different varieties, Freshwater, Seafish and Migratory Fish
2. Shouting to a deaf leopard would be useless as he couldnt hear you.

Wednesday 2nd April 2003 (Sam/Bob) [Posted Wednesday, April 2 2003 by Uglybob]

Dave revealed that his girlfriend no longer listens to the show at work. He told Chris its because they aren 't allowed to listen to the radio in the office anymore. Chris, evidently suspicious, decided to phone Emma to complain to her bosses about this outrage. Emma quite happily admitted that she is allowed to listen to the radio but doesn't listen to the show as she finds it embaressing, so they listen to Dr Fox instead. Chris: Your fiance's not that embaressing! Do you not like me anymore? Emma: No of course I like you but its not very professional, my bosses don't need to hear about me being drunk and bumping into a lamppost. Chris: I've never told a story about that. Did you do that? When did that happen?. Very funny, especially when you could practically hear Dave squirming in his seat.
Dave had a hard guess who for the team that lasted over 20 minutes, well when you consider the news break and 4 records in between. At the end of it all it as Ian Broudie from the Lightning Seeds. Chris got it with the help of a phone caller on the sly. Dave was at a posh swanky football dinner. He said that Tony Adams, Alan Ball, Graham Taylor and Gerry Marsden. Dave said that Gerry was the painful part of the evening.

Chris - Did he sing?
Dave - (monotone) Yes
Chris - Did he sing Youll Never Walk Alone
Dave - Actually got a lot of dirty looks because at that point having consumed most of the tables beverages, I was stood on a chair with my hands over my ears.
Chris - Aww great
Will - Oh dear
Dave - ... during the part
Chris - For those of you who arent aware, Daves football enemies are Liverpool and that song is sort of like a theme tune to their team. So your standing there in a posh hotel in London on the table with your hands on your ears while Gerry Marsden is belting out Youll Never Walk Alone
Dave - Well i was also making obscene hand gestures
Chris - Awwww you werent
Dave - ... to my Liverpool supporting friends who was on the table next to us.
Chris - Do you think you will be invited back?
Dave - Not particularly

Chris took the mick out of Sugababes for being minging looking. This is the type of hypocrite talk I was talking about in my post on the board of the decline. Chris called Edith Bowman a Ray of Audio Sunshine. Chris saw Helena Bonham Carter the other week. He said that she eats her sandwich like she did in the Planet Of The Apes.

Daves Tedious Link
Naughty By Nature OPP - Naughty By Nature hail from America as does George Benson - George Benson shares the same initials as Great Britain - Great Britain shares the same last name with Fern Britton - Fern Brittons real life husband is TV Chef Phil Vickery who Dave thought she met on the set of This Morning* - If **good morning was translated into German it would be Guten Morgen - Morgan Freeman starred in the Shawshank Redemption alongside Tim Robbins - Robins Nest was a sitcom in the 70's and in the world of Naval terminology for a lookout at the top of a ships mast where crew members take it in turns to look out for rocks and lighthouses*** - The Lighthouse Family once performed a live set on the Chris Moyles show in Ibiza, the cutting edge of dance culture**** - Culture Club were fronted by Boy George and Dave was pretty sure he saw the drummer John the other week in the pub and he didnt actually look that different - Diff'rent Strokes starred Gary Coleman - Gary Coleman shares the same surname as David Coleman, who used to host A Question Of Sport with regular team captains Bill Beaumont and Ian Botham - Ian Botham is famous for playing cricket *****and if a cricket ball were to accidentally hit you in the mouth it would inevitably lead to seriously high dental damage or whats known as Smash Mouth - Which links us to Smash Mouth and Allstar

Comments
1. They met on Ready Steady Cook
2. Good Morning was Anne and Nick and not Fern Britton
3. Dave is actually talking about a crows nest, not a robins nest
4. Lighthouse Family = cutting edge dance?
5. Surely hes more famous for his todger

Tuesday 1st April 2003 (Sidla/Sam/Bob) [Posted Tuesday, April 1 2003 by Uglybob]

Chris and the team went training this morning, and Chris said he hasn't trained so hard for ages. Chris has got into football training, because he thinks it's the best way to keep fit. Chris got caught in the rain on the way home, so he had to run home as fast as he could. Jamie Redknapp has invited the team to train with Spurs. Chris was slightly worried because he can pass balls and he can run, but he can't do both at the same time. Will doesn't want to do
it because he's rubbish at football and he thinks Spurs will laugh at him. Chris says that he sees Will as the Teddy
Sheringham of the team. Chris said Dave is the Jamie Redknapp and Aled is the Kasey Keller.
The team have been sent a special game by the Banzai team. It's called the Banzai Bin-Chuck Challenge. The potential Sony-award winning idea is to throw pieces of paper towards a bin and try and get them into the bin from as far away as possible. They start at 10 feet and move forward 2 feet every time they miss. Will didn't manage to get it in until he was 2 feet away. Aled managed it from 8 feet away. Dave was the only one to do it from 10 feet away. Chris got it in from 6 feet away.
Chris is taking his girlfriend to the cinema tonight, so he went through the listings to see what’s on. In the end he decided on either Rules of Attraction or The Recruit. He’d like to see The Recruit but knows Sophie will probably prefer Rules of Attraction. However he thinks Dawson’s Creek irritates her as much as him (James Van Der Beek plays Dawson and is in Rules of Attraction) and so fingers crossed for The Recruit. Next link she’s rang him to say ‘Dawson Please’ just to annoy him. It kills me to say it but I’m beginning to like this girl.
Yesterday Chris was driving in his car with the top down listening to the Eminem album. He had to stop at traffic lights where a school trip of young, impressionable children were crossing the road. Unfortunately it happened to be at a point in ‘Sing for the moment’ where there is a lot of swearing, and the sweet, innocent children heard every word. Chris “I’m genuinely sorry, but look on the bright side, at least I taught them a new way of using the English language.”
Dave had a new game called Whos The Daddy, set to the tune of Daddy Cool by Boney M but with Dave shouting Who over the Cool line. The game was simple, Dave read out a famous personality who also has a famous father, Chris and Will had to guess who it was. Chris beat Will 6-3. They were all pretty simple like
Michael Douglas - Kirk Douglas
Liam Botham - Ian Botham
Jamie Lee Curtis - Tony Curtis etc
Dave ballsed up the Martin Sheen/Emilio Estevez link.
Chris used the Catchphrase music for a correct answer.
Unfortunately theres another one tomorrow.

Chris wanted Aled to voice the start of the Mario record Are You Ready For Me but Aleds mobile went off in the nick of time. Chris got a present at 5:10 and Dave told him to close his eyes. He said that if he closed his eyes, Aled would interfere with him. Chris got a gnome wearing a Ben Sherman shirt. It was a present from Ben Sherman himself. He said he was a big fan. Aled said that it might be an April Fool because he thought he didnt exist. Chris said that he thought it was just a PR Stunt. Will cleared it up as the people from the PR sent them it to keep Will and Dave company. Chris said that Dave is jealous of his gnome and will go out and buy a gnome with a wheelbarrow just to outdo him.

Daves Tedious Link
The Seahorses are the smallest type of horse in the world following the Shetland Pony - Ponies used to be used down pit to transport coal and stuff like that in mines - Cigarrettes and Alcohol should not be sold to minors but in this case its not coal miners theyre trying to protect, its minors as in children and impressionable youths - Musical Youth are famous for passing the dutchie - Another type of dutchie is a thin area of land owned by a Duke or Duchess - Duchess rhymes with Hutches which is the plural for hutch, a secure compound for rabbits - Rabbits eat carrots as do vegetarians - Vegetarians like reggae and camper vans (all laugh) and are followers of rock festivals and jossticks and if a josstick was left unattended on someones teepee it could start a huge forest fire that could destroy vast areas of woodland and in that respect their careless use of jossticks is naughty and a treat to nature - Which links us to Naughty By Nature and O.P.P