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News Archive: February 2003

    4 WAY Greg/Sam/Stevo/Bob 27/2/03 Thurs [Posted Thursday, February 27 2003 by Uglybob]

    --------------------GREG------------------------------
    The team talked about last night’s Footballers Wives and how it ended with Jason falling off the roof. Chris told of how he spent the night watching Coronation Street, The Bill hour long special an

    Wednesday 26th February 2003 Greg/Bob [Posted Wednesday, February 26 2003 by Uglybob]

    Dave moaned that the studio’s were covered in jam from the donuts they were sent. Chris said he wanted one today but Rachel had given them out to people in the building.
    Chris talked about last night’s football and the Bobby Robson documentary - Chris said he was proud to work for the BBC when he saw it.
    Chris said that the Fire Alarm test was today during Mark and Lard’s show (who broadcast from BBC Manchester so there’s no need to use the backup tape!). He said that he was playing on the X-box when someone told him was leaving via the Fire Exit route when someone told him he was going the wrong way.
    Chris then mentioned that it was an autograph hunters dream as everyone from the station was outside…
    Chris talked about Footballer’s Wives last episode tonight… Moaned at Rachel for telling him the plot of tonight’s episode. Dave said Emma B told him something as well. Dave and Chris did impressions of “Sal” and the Spanish nanny from Cold Feet (whose actually English).
    Chris moaned about the “no bugger’s got it ITV News Channel” (which is on both Freeview and Sky Digital!)
    Chris played Junior Senior trying to pronounce Moyles ending with: “Sorry Chris, We’re Danish!”. Chris said he was jealous of Sophie’s tan because he’s lost his…wants another holiday.

    More Coldplay Interpretations
    1. Craig Evans - Coldplay vs. X-Press 2 - Lazy
    2. Oliver Farrell - Banjo Clocks
    3. Jonathan Hey - His Interpretation On The Piano
    4. Howard Durdle - Coldplay vs. Renegade Master

    Chris wants to take the Durdle Mix to Playlist - has support of Dave and Rachel. Diffusion’s Moped RMX is still Chris’ favourite (download it from: www.diffusiononline.net

    They ran a competition to win a pair of tickets to the Worthington Cup final. It was based on the ill fated Footballers Lives idea a month or so ago. Two Man Utd fans were on today and tomorrow there will be 2 Liverpool. There was absolutely no tension as it lasted all of 1 minute because Dave said that the person was 25 and French, bearing in mind there is only 3 Frenchmen and 2 of them are both well over 30, it was of course Michel Sivestre.
    Chris is peeved off that Tatu are number one still. He hated the way the video is supposed to be controversial. He said it would have helped if they werent dogs.
    Aled had a Guess Who which was Nell McAndrew, that plastic model who is into fitness and was on Im A D-List Celebrity, Get Me out Of Here. Chris made fun of Aled when he said Ahhhhh in a camp voice.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Baby D Let Me Be Your Fantasy - Fantasy Island was a programme in the 70's which featured a C Plane and a dwarf in a white suit - White suits have also been made famous by John Travolta and Gareth Gates - Gareth Gates is on Celebrity Driving School along with Jade Gooby and Paul O' Grady - Paul O'Grady is the alter ego of Lily Savage - Savage Garden have now sadly split - Savage Garden were fronted by Darren Hayes - Darren shares his surname with Isaac Hayes - Isaac Hayes was the voice of Chef in South Park - Chef was a lukewarm comedy starring Lenny Henry - Lenny Henry is married to Dawn French - Dawn French shares her surname with Nikki French who did a godawful cover of Total Eclipse Of The Heart in 1995 - The original was done by Bonnie Tyler - Bonnie Tyler shares her surname with Steven Tyler of Aerosmith - Which Links us to Aerosmith and Love In An Elevator

    Tuesday 25th February 2003 Sidla/Bob [Posted Tuesday, February 25 2003 by Uglybob]

    DONT BLAME US: BLAME THE SHOW FOR THE POORNESS OF REVIEW
    ILL BE UPDATING TEDIOUS LINK TONIGHT
    Chris was talking about the second Michael Jackson documentary that was on Sky last night. He said it was a complete load of American bilge and it was a complete waste of his time last night.
    It's the Jackass premier in London tonight and Chris and Dave have come up with a brand new
    feature: Jock Arse! Scottish people have to ring up and perform wacky stunts on the phone. The team took some more emails about records that sound similar to other records.
    Roy Chubby Brown sent in 8 different messages asking to Chris to see him in Watford on Thursday night. Unfortunately they didnt check for swearing. If you know very little about Chubbs, all you know is that he swears a lot.
    Eminem Without Me VS Coldplay Clocks was played and Moped Scooter Tribute... again.
    Chris played the Aled Jones interview you werent meant to see as a piss-take of the Sky One Michael Jackson show last night. Mildly amusing purely for the fact of Dave saying Genetalia in a Britney Spears accent.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Cast Allright - A cast is what you put on a broken limb and is made of plaster of paris - Paris is the capital of France - France rhymes with Dance - Lord of the Dance was a show starring Michael Flatley - Flatley uses hairspray as does Nicky Clarke - Nicky Clarke is a celeb quaffeour - That sounds a bit like qoffee which is the american way of saying coffee - A famous coffee is Blue Mountain which shouldnt be mistaken for Big Mountain who had a 1994 hit with Baby I Love Your Way in a pop reggae kind of way - The word reggae bares many of the same letters as the word Ragu which is an Italian Pasta Sauce - Pass The Dutchie was a 1982 number 1 for Musical Youth - Musical Youth had a huge influence on the career of Steve Lamacq - Steve is well known for his penchant for peanuts - When you think Peanuts you thing Big D - If Big D made Peanuts designed for children and toddlers they would probably call them Baby D - Which links us to Baby D and Let Me Be Ur Fantasy

    Monday 24th February 2003 [Posted Monday, February 24 2003 by Uglybob]

    Greyhead is off this week because he was on a course. Chris joked that it was open and closing doors training. Rachel is producing the show, former producer of the Chris's Saturday show. Chris gave us some facts about Rachel: She did the London Marathon you know! Leeds were beaten by Newcastle at the weekend, but Chris said he enjoyed it anyway because he had posh seats in the gantry. Chris had a nightmare journey back home to London because of traffic chaos on the M1. Aled is also off today because he has had a long weekend away. Chris said he
    seems to be the only member of Radio 1 who doesn't seem to have odd days off. He said he's considering having a day off to spent St. Patrick's day in Dublin. Chris is trying to stay off the booze for as long as he can. He said the main problem is that he gets bored and ends up going to the pub for a quick pint and a chat to his mates. Chris asked if someone would like to join him in his quest so that he might stand a better chance. Dave said he would be willing to help Chris battle the booze for as long as possible. Somebody emailed in and told Chris he should be a good Roman Catholic citizen and give up beer for Lent.
    Producer Rachael thought that the Sugarbabes 'Shape' intro sounds very similar to the Eminem 'Sing for the Moment' intro. Chris played the 2 intros separately, but they sounded completely different. Then he played them both at the same time and it sounded like a very good bootleg. Some more versions of Coldplay's Clocks remixes came in, including a Drum and Bass version and a Ska version. Chris played Sheldon's Scooter tribute 'Moped' version
    again and he offered Rachel £60 if she managed to hear it without laughing. She lost it as soon as she hear the 'more tea vicar' line.
    Chris spoke about the Kylie-Danni-Justin thing (I’d explain but I don’t quite understand what’s going on). He thinks Justin is a lucky sod, and mentioned again that he just doesn’t get why so many women find Justin Timberlake attractive.
    Chris discovered that the intro to Good Charlotte’s “Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous” is the same as “Walking on Sunshine” by Catrina and the Waves, just slightly slower. To fill a link AGAIN they went through some summer album (sorry, missed the title) remixing Good Charlotte into them all.
    Desperation on the show was sunk to a new level today as they managed to fill two links about Space Bras without even explaining what they are, and doughnuts. I always thought Chris and Dave could survive regardless of who the other team members are, but today in my opinion they were missing Aled and particularly Will, something I never thought I would have to say. I’m sick of trying to form a good review out of yet another terrible show and that upsets me.
    Ahm, what did they do after 4:30, well to sum it up, not much. Coldplay remixes replayed and the unwelcome return of Hello Im Listening.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Shed Seven Going For Gold - Going For Gold was a TV Game show hosted by Henry Kelly - Henry Kelly shares his surname with both R Kelly and Matthew Kelly, fortunately for him thats all he shares - Chers hit If I Could Turn Back Time featured the plastic singer straddling a cannon - Tommy Cannon is one of the UK's best loved entertainers along with his comedy partner Bobby Ball - Bobby Ball shares his surname with Alan Ball, a former midfield general - The DJ Midfield General is a mate of Norman Cooks who is bizarrely married to Zoe Ball who has the same surname as both Alan Ball and Bobby Ball - Bobby Balls has the same first name as Bobby Ewing - Patrick Duffy played the character in Dallas - He also played the Man from Atlantis (NOTE-Patrick Duffy appearing for the 4th time in a Tedious Link) - The Man from Atlantis spent long periods of time underwater as did Sean Connery in the Hunt for Red October - October has 31 days as does March - March is the only month to begin with the letter M (ahm Dave what about May) - M People recorded Search for the Hero which appeared in that Peugeot advert while Tina Turner recorded We Dont Need Another Hero which appeared in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome - Tina Turner herself was part of the cast - Which links us to Cast and Allright

    Chris FULL Birthday Show by Uglybob 21/2/2003 [Posted Friday, February 21 2003 by Uglybob]

    Jon Culshaw, Sarah and Lizzie http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles/news/images/birthday03/three420x300.jpg

    Will, Dave and Birthday Boy Chris
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles/news/images/birthday03/nine420x300.jpg




    Chris read a mystery parchment from Emma B in his Studio along with Melinda.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles/news/images/birthday03/five420x300.jpg

    Dave, Will and Aled were mysteriously absent. He read aloud the riddle which basically was telling him that they were in a bar and they told him to come along. Emma B told him a motorcycle was outside to take him to the public house. Nemone then joined to say that we had to wait 10 minutes before Chris would be on the air.

    Eminem - Sing For The Moment
    Supermen Lovers - Starlight

    In the public house, Will introduced Computer Mark, Kevin from the Pub and the Queen, otherwise known as Chris' mother, Vera Moyles and at the end the birthday boy himself Christopher Moyles. Andy Parfitt and his girlfriend also joined him.
    Moyles said that he always joked that Will and Dave couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery and that was their answer.

    Mel C - Here It Comes Again

    Chris asked if Nemone and Emma B got paid for their 10 minutes work. Chris called his mum a poor liar. His girlfriend Sophie was there and he called her fit. Chris said that he came into the studio at 2:58 and Emma B was sat on his chair looking stern with Melinda reading the Times. Wills girlfriend is still away in South Africa. Will said that they had collected some messages from people all over the world. Chris said that he wasnt at the Brits, Scott Mills didnt turn up for his show at 4am but turned up for the Birthday booze up. Chris dad couldnt be bothered coming down. A lot of his cousins were there who he jokingly said he hated.

    LL Cool J - Paradise

    FAMOUS PEOPLE MONTAGE (well the team doing impressions
    Aled did a bad Tom Jones. Will did Moby. Dave and the rest did a convincing Blue, Aled did Kelly from the Stereophonics just like Tom Jones, Dave did a bad Northern Ireland accent as Ash. Will did Mark Little and Steve Irwin, who ironically is 41 on the same day as Chris.

    Massive Attack - Special Cases
    NEWS
    Coldplay - Clocks
    Divine Inspiration - The Way

    Scott Mills was still suffering from a bad hangover. Chris had his Leeds Utd CD with him for a good singalong.
    Jingle Justin did impressions of Barry McGuigan, Jim Corr, Bob Geldof, Daniel O Donnell, Bono, Billy Connolly and David O' Leary on the phone.

    Big Brovas - OK

    Jingle Justin got him a bell in the shape of a breast. Chris talked about the Brits. He said it was very Americanized. He thought it was funny that the highlight of the BRITS was an Australian and an American doing a duet. Will Young joined them on the phone. Chris had a bone to pick with him because he didnt thank him or the Radio 1 fans. He said he didnt know it was the first award and that he thought he didnt have a hope in hell. Will Young had a present for him but it was a surprise. Will said his award was on the mantelpiece and he hadnt polished it yet. Chris found Kylies singing hilarious.

    Oakenfold - Starry Eyed Surprise
    Cam'ron - Hey Ma
    Red Hot Chili Peppers - Cant Stop (skipped - Chris said ignore it)

    Misteeq sent Chris a message. Chris said they talked like Peggy Mitchell. Jingle Justin sent more stuff in and Chris seriously edited down. Then Moylesworlds moment. I was not part of this so... well... you know I couldnt be arsed.
    As far as parodies go, it was rubbish he said. Thongbird was done by Staticfish. The card was also given to him saying Old Git. It was the thought that counts. Chris got Will to say the website address because he didnt know it.

    Justin Timberlake - Cry Me a River

    Jon Culshaw joined the show doing Ozzy Osbourne. Chris apologised for the show as he said that the birthday shows are usually the worst.

    Kelly Rowland - Stole
    Turin Breaks - Painkiller
    NEWS
    Jaimeson - True
    Jakatta - American Dream

    A Guess Who Caller - It was Davina McCall trying to put on a Sonia accent. The phone was very crackly. Davina went to bed at 11:30pm. She said that it was a little bit sober. He said that the old farts in suits were in force there. She said her highlight was Coldplay. Chris was disappointed that George Michael didnt show up. She called Ms Dynamite Naomi, her real name. She thought Justin Timberlake was sexy, she said it was the way he dances. Chris opened his birthday card and the sounds was down in one, down in one

    Queen & Vanguard - Flash - Out 10th March 2003

    Secret Guest was Oh Dominic as Chris gasped. It was Leeds skipper Dominic Matteo. Chris said that Dominic keeps texting him saying hes old even though Chris is 6 weeks older than him. Dominic asked him to watch in the gantry with him. Chris also got a goodie bag from Leeds Utd PLC. It included a Dominic Matteo signed 21 shirt.

    Missy Elliott - Work It
    NEWS
    MOP - Cold As Ice
    Royksópp - Eple

    The Appleton sisters joined Chris after 5. Nicole had a late night for the Oasis tour end party. Natalie stayed in and didnt go to the Brits. Nicole said I Love You Liam because they had a row this morning over a petty little thing. Godzilla, the chiauaua, also joined them. They were very cagey about the split in All Saints. They said they row all the time. Nicole wasnt that big a fan of Oasis beforehand. Nicole said she expected Liam to come to her concerts.
    Chris claimed that Nicole would like to sing a parody with them at a club. She seemed not to recall this conversation, methinks she was on the pop. The album got 4* from Q. The same Q that gave Heathen Chemistry 2*, read into that what you will. Liam Gallagher put Happy 40th on Nicoles card.

    Appleton - Everything Eventually (Taken from their album Everything Is Eventual)
    DJ Sammy - Heaven

    Daves Tedious Link
    Pulp is the middle part of a citrus fruit - Fruit is a staple diet of Fruit Bats - Fruit Bats hang out in caves as do Potholers - Potholers bear no relation to pot smokers who hang out in Amsterdam - Amsterdam has lots of canals as does Manchester - Manchester is home to Oasis - Open Pour Be Yourself Once More - More than a Woman was a hit a Tavares - Tavares is nearly an anagram of Travis - The bass player of Travis is called Dougie Payne - Dougie Payne shares his first name with Dougie Howser MD - Dougie Howser worked in a hospital - Hospitals use lots of linen - If you take the E out of linen you get Linn as in Vera Lynn who was the forces sweetheart - Vera Lynn shares her first name with Vera Moyles, the mother of Chris Moyles - Chris Moyles is 29 tomorrow so in recognition of such a milestone, we should play one of his favourite bands with one of his favourite songs, its Shed Seven and Going For Gold

    Chris opens presents - shocking roulette game which reminded him of his failed TV show, a card from Michael Greco, card from Sara Cox, card from Jonathan Woodgate and Rio Ferdinand & Chappers. Chris big present is a Sports Foot Massager. It will relieve his feet with heat.

    Show Ends with Junior Senior - Move Your Feet

    Thursday 20th February 2003 (Sam & Bob-Brits Update) [Posted Thursday, February 20 2003 by Uglybob]

    The team started the show by wishing Davina McCall good luck for the Brits. Chris went looking on the internet last night for a arcade game to put in his conservatory. They cost anything between $3000 and $1500 so he’ll have to dip into his savings because he wants two, a really old one like Pacman or Paperboy (how come Aled can’t remember this, but I can and I’m 16?) and the Star Wars trilogy.

    Big Blubber 3 – The Final Push (with funky new bed and everything)
    Aled – Disappointing start as he didn’t attend Wednesday, however Thursday at the gym he flexed his muscles (I’m not going to comment in any way, however tempting) and did well. Currently Aled is in good shape, but needs to push himself for the summer half marathon, which is looming ever nearer.
    Dave – Uncharacteristically Dave was a star student this week. He completed a 5-½ mile run by himself on Wednesday, and on Thursday he ran to the gym, which Scott thought was impressive until he realised it was because he couldn’t be arsed to pay the £5 congestion charge. But despite being tight Dave won Licky licky brown nose this week.
    Will – Will completed a 36 minute run on Wednesday, which is his longest to date. He hated it but worked really hard regardless, so even though he missed Thursday he has to be applauded for his ‘super effort’.
    Chris – A good week again, Chris has really turned the corner in regards to his training. He is determined to lose weight and has definitely decided to put the effort back in.

    The team had more Coldplay – Clocks remixes. Sheldon from diffusion online got his played today. He and his mates formed a Scooter tribute band – Moped. This was as usual very very good, including phrases such as ‘Naughty Vicar’ and “Gwyneth are you ready”. For those who didn’t hear it, it was basically in the exact style of Scooter, high-pitched voice and then bloke going “yeah, bring the house down” etc etc. If I didn’t know better I would have thought it really was Scooter sunk to even lower levels, if that was possible.


    Best British Single Award - Liberty X - Just A Little
    Best Robbie Williams British Male Award - Robbie Williams
    Best International Breakthru - Norah Jones
    Best Brit Breakthru - Will Young
    Best Urban Act - Ms Dynamite
    Best British Female - Ms Dynamite
    Best International Male - Eminem
    Best Pop - Blue

    Justin Timberlake duetting with Kylie Minogue
    George Michael duetting with Ms Dynamite
    Avril Lavigne with a hundred drummers

    Scott Mills joined Chris from a car park outside the Brits. Every popstar is texting people on the red carpet. Avril Lavigne is chewing gum and looking glum. Scott said that the stage is huge and Davina can run up to the winners. He said that Pink has Beefeater Guards with her on stage and the campest dancers ever. Chris cheekily said that he will leave him to it. Colin Murray is peeved that Chris was trailing the Brits on ITV at 8pm, exactly the same time as his show.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Tubthumping - Tubthumping is a slang term for playing the drums - Drum was the name of the yacht that sunk in 1986 which endangered the life of Simon Le Bon - Le Bon is french for the good - The Goodmen had a 1993 hit with Give It Up - 10 years earlier KC & The Sunshine Band also had a hit with the same name Give It Up - Sunshine On A Rainy Day - Rainy Day In Georgia - Georgia is the home state of REM - REM recorded Shiny Happy People with the help of the B52's - A B52 is an ill advised drink involving Kalua - If you rearrange some of the letters you can get Koala - Koalas are found in Australia - Australia is a place that requires a visa, India is another place - India is the home of curry - Curry gives you the squits - Squits rhymes with The Brits - and topically tonight is all about the Brits and when you think of classic Brits performances from years gone by you think of Jarvis Cocker pulling a moony in front of Michael Jackson - Which links us to Pulp and Common People

    Wednesday 19th February 2003 sam/bob/sidla [Posted Wednesday, February 19 2003 by Uglybob]

    http://david.striked.org/moyles/19febaled_trouble.mp3
    http://david.striked.org/moyles/19febeddie_coldplay.mp3
    paste them in your address to listen. Thanks to David

    Chris had a shave last night and it was the first thing people commented on when they first saw him today. He had bought a new razor and it didn’t leave him with as much stubble as he would like. He said his face now feels like a cheese grater. Chris was watching ‘Real Footballer’s Wives’ last night and Will said that the people featured on the programme had obviously been trying to detach themselves from the image that ‘Footballers Wives’ promotes, but they failed badly.
    Chris was pleased that the Pop Stars Rivals tour was cancelled. One True Voice? More like One Person Bought Tickets. Chris said the only people to have bought tickets were probably Louis Walsh and Pete Waterman. Chris said Hearsay had only stayed together for the time it takes to say Hearsay. Comedy Dave was featured in the Radio Times this week. Will said the photograph they used of Dave was the most appalling picture of Dave he’d ever seen. According to the interview Dave’s worst moment was when he took Simon Mayo off the air for 15 minutes. Chris
    was gutted that he was not mentioned in his favourite broadcasters, and neither was anybody else at Radio 1. Mike Parry was listed as one of his favourite broadcasters who is on Five Live at the same time as Coxy. Chris questioned Dave’s loyalty to Radio 1. To be fair though, who’d want to listen to the breakfast show with that annoying gobby cow with the personality of a slapped fish.
    Aled got into trouble with Chris for lying about going running. He started off by saying that he went for a run all around Regent’s Park, but refused to swear ‘on somebody’s life’ (just that phrase coming from a man about to turn 29 made me laugh!) about it. When pressed he said he didn’t run round the entire park, but he did go running. Further interrogation lead to the discovery that he actually didn’t go running at all, so Chris had one of his infamous rants at “the lying git”.
    However, Aled was proud of something today. Chris announced that Aled had finally become a man. Yes that’s right folks, he captured and threw out a spider. Aled: “It was massive!” Chris: “Yes, but do you use the term massive the same way you use the term ‘one lap of Regent’s Park?’”. Aled: “Well, probably”. It was about the size of a two pound coin, but it was hairy and its legs moved, not like normal spiders at all! We were then treated to a blow by blow account of poor little Aled getting rid of this ‘massive’ spider. While wearing gloves, he needed card, a jug, a baking tray, sugar dispenser and paper all to trap one little insect. After all that he couldn’t bring himself to throw it out, so he locked it in a room until his friend came round to chuck it out of the window. Soundvault soon for this and the running thing soon I hope!
    Now, I know I had a moan yesterday about how little effort is being put into the show, but today 4 till 4:30 was a pleasure to review. Chris ranting at his team is one of my favourite things to listen to on the show, it never fails to be funny. And what on any other radio show would have been a dull story about a spider, only Chris and his team can make a hilarious and entertaining dilemma from their sheer way of getting all excited and het up about absolutely anything. In one half an hour Chris has revived my dwindling hope that he still has what it takes to be my favourite DJ (a title that was slowly being taken from him), so why can’t we have more stuff like this?
    It will be a dull day tomorrow as they want to you to text in who you think will win Brit Awards in their respective catagories. Theyve been using the text a lot these days so there must be some sort of extra money coming from the calls.
    Day One of Clock-legging and Eddie Nock gets his first mention with his rock-y version. Other mentions go out to Darren AKA DJ Spark for his garage mixes, Paul Snart for his 6 minute dance rendition and Dave from Hartlepool, who was on the phone yesterday telling them how to play it on the keyboard. He sent in so far their favourite which was best described as Jamaican Flava Mix. Chris finally likes a Missy Elliott song, her new one Gossip Talk.
    A lot of Footballers Wives trash that I couldnt be arsed to listen to.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Dream Warriors Wash Your Face In My Sink - Face was a character in the A Team and was played by Dirk Benedict - Eggs benedict is a posh way of saying egg mayonnaise - Eggs get laid as does Gary Lucy - Gary Lucy plays Kyle Pascoe in Footballers Wives - Pascoe rhymes with Cost Co where you can get 5 litre tins of beans - Beans means farts - Farts rhymes with Darts - Darts is the sport of the fat - Fat Of the Land - Land Of Hope and Glory - Glory Box was a hit for Portishead as was Sour Times - Sour Mix are made by Haribo - Haribo come from Pontefract - Pontefract is famous for cakes - Cakes rhymes with snakes - Snake Pit - Gravel Pit - Brad Pitt - Brad Pitt starred in the film Se7en and when you think of the number 7 you may think of days of the week, colours of the rainbow or you may think of bands comprising of 7 members and when you think of 7 peace pseudo political pop rock combos of yesteryear, one band springs to mind - Which links us to Chumbawumba and Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down)

    Tuesday 18th February 2003 Sidla/Sam/Bob [Posted Tuesday, February 18 2003 by Uglybob]

    The team talked about the Ferguson-Beckham incident again. Chris said one of the papers wrote about how Beckham could sue for negligence. Will asked if David was going to appear on one of them Claims Direct adverts and Chris did an impression of what it might sound like. A caller phoned up from Manchester and said that in the local Manchester paper it said that Manchester United were not going to take any action against David Beckham. Chris said that it might have been David’s fault, he could have got in the way of the boot! Another caller rang to ask if
    Chris thought Ferguson kicked a ‘Predator’ at Beckham and it swerved. Dave had to explain to Chris what a Predator is.
    The caller also asked if Chris thought Alex put his shirt over his head after he’d hit Beckham. Chris said they might have swapped shirts after the row. After the news, Chris asked George “Why is Alex Ferguson the funniest man in football?” George replied “Because he’s always got David Beckham in stitches!” It would have been impressive if Chris hadn’t told George the punchline of the air first.
    Radio 1 ONLINE is running a straw poll to let the listeners decide who should win the various award categories. The team was running through it and picking the artists that they felt should win. The team were discussing news in the papers today. Rik Waller was apparently told to lose weight or die. Chris thought the tabloid newspaper terminology was funny because it described Rik as a “Rolly polly pop flop. Chris was going to say ‘lets have a whip ‘round for a Burger King for Mr. Waller’ but he decided it would be cruel.
    Chris wanted to learn to play the piano part to Coldplay’s new single Clocks. Dave had a keyboard upstairs so this seems to be a little challenge for Chris, also known as ‘we have no features so we desperately need to fill time’. Harsh? Maybe but it’s time they came up with some new features and put the effort in for a change. They just don’t seem to care anymore.
    Yes, Sam, I agree entirely. Will had a stroke of genius or rather a lets get people to do our jobs for us as its more commonly known. Chris wants people to send in their version of Coldplay Clocks. You can send them on an mpg on email or you can send a minidisc to this address.

    My Interpretation of a Clock
    The Chris Moyles Show
    BBC Radio 1
    London
    W1N 4DJ

    Chris received a text message wishing him a happy birthday but it peed him off because it also said old man. Oh dear, Mr Harris, you got a day you know to get a different card if you want. The team had a scare when the Dream Warriors track started off with What The FUNK is this and they stopped it and rewound it to double check.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Lenny Kravitz Are You Gonna Go My Way - Are you gonna go my way would be a well known phrase by someone like a hitchiker - The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy was written by Douglas Adams - Victoria Adams was the old name of Victoria Beckham - She is married to David Beckham - David Beckham is currently sporting a gash above the eye after a supposed run in with Alex Ferguson - Fergie has not apologized so you could say he has no regrets - No Regrets was a hit for Robbie Williams in 1998 - Robbie is from the Potteries - Pottery is transported from factories to gift shops via lorries - Lorries are driven by lorry drivers - and if your a long distance lorry driver and need a pee when you are miles from anywhere you would probably stop off at a little old ladies house in the middle of the woods like the fella in the Carlsberg advert who was kindly invited into use the loo and perhaps even wash his face in the sink - Which links us to Dream Warriors and Wash Your Face In My Sink

    Monday 17th February 2003 Sidla/Sam/bob [Posted Monday, February 17 2003 by Uglybob]

    thinking of ditching the playlist, only listing the songs he plays during links like Acarine etc - if you still want to see it - complain on the forum

    Chris was in a good mood after the Leeds 2-1 win after the Crystal Palace match yesterday. Needless to say the show opened with the commentary from the game. He then went on to play the cup draw clip. Leeds were drawn away to Sheffield United (Come on you Blades!). Chris had another mini-rant about the congestion charges that were introduced today. He said he paid on one of the machines and it took him about 10 minutes to figure out how to use it. Chris worked out that it would be cheaper to get a chauffeur driven limousine into work than to drive in.
    Chris said that he might start cycling into work. Will said that Chris and Dave should club together and buy an ambulance to beat the charges. It’s Chris’s birthday show on Friday and he’s expecting loads of showbiz guests to sing in the live lounge. Dave said that Chris’ll be pleasantly surprised by the amount of organisation that him and
    Will have put into it, but Chris said he’s surprised every year by the tremendous lack of effort put in by the pair.
    Chris was talking about the David Beckham gash above the eye story. Chris demanded that the club should release a statement because it’s only right that the fans know what happened. Chris said that if David feels hard done by then there’s always a place for him at Leeds. Dave thought the tabloids had exaggerated the whole incident and the incident was purely an accident.
    Chris ranted on a bit more about the congestion charge. Dave said he should get the bus, but Chris said he doesn’t want to catch the bus. Well stop bloody moaning then!
    Make sure you are sitting down folks - for Dave’s and Chapper’s Comic Relief challenge they’ve actually managed to get a helicopter for part of the journey. The team like, managed to organise something! As already mentioned on the message board and main page, each day while Dave’s away the team will have someone on for ‘Comedy Relief’, the Monday will be Tony Blackburn. Comedy Relief Tuesday will be Pete Waterman. The show with Tony got a mention on Graham Norton when he was being interviewed. Graham ‘didn’t respond negatively, just continued with questioning” according to Greyhead.
    This week it is National Chip Week. The team have been sent free chips but they complained that there was no salt n vinegar. Dave said that he will need to buy a new suit for his wedding because he cant fit into the one he bought for Norman and Zoes wedding in 1999.
    Chris was disappointed in Zoe Lucker today on This Morning. He said that she is fast turning into her character on the TV with the way she dresses and acts. Must have been wearing wood then.
    Will finally got one back on Chris showing thats he not that stupid when it comes to music intros by getting the majority of the Rock Anthems Chris played. Why The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics was on it is frankly disturbing.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Lets Get It On - Get it On was a hit for T Rex and also for Power Station - Power Station was a supergroup combining members of Duran Duran and Robert Palmer - Robert shares his surname with Arnold Palmer - Arnold Palmer is a famous golfer - Take away the L from golfer and you get gofer - Gordon the Gopher was the sidekick to Philip Schofield - Philip Schofields current sidekick is Fern Britton - Great Britain is where we live - We all live in a Yellow Submarine - Submarines can spend long times underwater as can fish - Fish have gills - Gills rhymes with Pills - You just like a pill instead of making me better your making me ill - Licensed to Ill was the debut album by the Beastie Boys which spawned the hit Fight For Your Right To Party - Party rhymes with Carty as in Todd Carty who left Eastenders - Another Eastender ready to leave is Barbara Windsor - Windsor sounds a bit like Winslet as in Kate Winslet - Kate Winslet is an archetypal English actress famous for period dramas where women ride horses and men wear cravats - Which links us to Lenny Kravitz and Are You Gonna Go My Way

    Friday 14th February 2003 Sidla/Bob [Posted Friday, February 14 2003 by Uglybob]

    1. Jay-Z & Beyonce-03 Bonnie & Clyde, 2. Kosheen -Hide You, 3. Idlewild-Modern Way Of Letting Go, 4. Divine Inspiration-The Way, 5. 50 Cent-In Da Club, NEWS, 6. Red Hot Chilli Peppers-Can't Stop, 7. Layo & Bushwaka-Love Story, 8. Danni Minogue-I Begin To Wonder, 9. David Gray-Dead In The Water. 10. Kelly Rowland-Stole, 11. Jakkata -American Dream, 12. OK Go-Get Over It, 13. Pink-Family Portrait, 14. Röyksopp-Eple, NEWS, 15. U2-Elevation, 16. Jamieson-True, 17. J Lo-All I Have, 18. Turin Breaks-Painkiller, NEWS, 19. Eminem-Sing For The Moment, 20. Basement Jaxx-Wheres Your Head At, 21. Nelly & Justin Timberlake-Work It, 22. Missy Elliott-4 My People, 23. Marvin Gaye-Lets Get It On, 24. LL Cool J-Paradise, 25. Avril Lavigne-Im With You, 26. Junior Senior-Move Your Feet

    The team were discussing valentines day gifts and cards they'd sent and received from their loved ones. Chris got a Leeds United Valentines day card from his lass, which he said was one of the tackiest things he'd ever seen. Chris had two talking cards for his lass and he was in two minds about which card to give her. One of them was Dom Joly with HELLO!!! I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU!, but Chris said she wouldn't really be able to open that in a
    romantic restaurant. The other one featured George from Rainbow saying Will you be my Valentine? and Zippy says I'll be your Valentine. The team thought it sounded sinister.
    Aled was being filmed today, for a programme in Wales who wants to know the average day in the life of Aled Jones. Chris commented The Ego Has Landed. The film crew filmed Aled bringing a jug of water into the studio and Chris said that it must make fascinating viewing. Chris asked Aled if he was going to throw a showbiz strop.
    Chris has got De'Ana, Britain's premier clairvoyant on the show. Chris was interested to find out what she said about Will. She sensed that Will had come from a rural area with a connection to horses. She said Will tended to fall for the wrong sort of woman and he needed to find someone of his own intellectual level, perhaps Jordan then.
    De'Ana felt that Dave has quite an important event in December, she asked him if his birthday was in December and he said it wasn't, and no close relatives have a birthday in December either. She said that there will be something big happening in December, maybe to do with children. About Chris she said that she can see him on the cover
    of a book in 2004, it may be connected to the show in some way. She said Aled has more of a future
    in TV, behind the scenes. She also sensed that Aled is fond of uniforms! Chris opened the phones to let members of the public ring in to get advise from De'Ana. Somebody texted in to ask what the Man U v Arsenal result will be tomorrow, but she said she couldn't say. Someone else rang in but their phone had been cut off.
    Psychic Dave felt that the person had got trouble with his phone. De'Ana's website can be found at
    http://www.future-forcast.com/. More calls were taken after half 4 from females with relationship problems.
    She said that she could find Aled in TV about costumes, Uniformed, taller, they have to be physically fit. She thought he was going to Amsterdam soon with his partner. A home move is on the way. She said that Chris is neglecting a K like Kieran or Keith. Kieran is Chris brother but he left him home last night. Will has a work offer in South Africa coming soon. Dave wanted to know whether his marriage will clash with football, she said yes.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Radiohead High And Dry - Dry is the opposite of wet - If you said wet in Germany you would pronounce it as vet which is also the english word for animal doctors - Animal doctors work in Animal Hospitals - Rolf Harris hosts Animal Hospital - Rolf Harris is a famous artist as is Van Gogh - Van Gogh cut off one of his ears preventing him to wear sunglasses - Sunglasses prevent harmful UV rays getting in - Ray Parlour plays for Arsenal - Arsenal are managed by a Frenchman and Parler is the french word for to speak - Speak is the location of Liverpool airport and is now named after John Lennon - John Lennon was an Evertonian as was Paul McCartney - Paul McCartney teamed up with Michael Jackson for Say Say Say - Say rhymes with Gay and one man who was gay all his life but wasnt a homosexual was Marvin Gaye - Which Links us to a special Valentines Day Tedious Link Marvin Gaye and Lets Get It On

    Thursday 13th February 2003 sam/bob [Posted Thursday, February 13 2003 by Uglybob]

    Kelly Osbourne – Shut Up. Eminem – Lose Yourself. OPM - Heaven is a Half Pipe. Moloko – Nothing Can Come Close. Good Charlotte – Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous.NEWS, Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River, Divine Inspiration-The Way, Richard X & Liberty X-Being Nobody, Coldplay-In My Place, NEWS, T.A.T.U-All The Things She Said, Rui Da Silva-Touch Me, Blazin' Squad-Reminisce, Foo Fighters-All My Life, JayZ & Beyonce-Bonnie & Clyde, Radiohead-High & Dry, Layo & Bushwacka-Love Story, Desert Eagle Discs-Bigger Better Deal

    Chris was giving his signed England shirt away from last night. To win it you have to match the footballer to the signatures. The problem is the team aren’t sure which ones which themselves. They spent half an hour going through trying to work it out, which made boring radio but easy work for me.
    Chris opened up the phone lines and emails because he wanted to do something different for his girlfriend. Chris put on his Doctor Love voice after the 5 news.
    John - Buy her tea lights from Ikea and spell out I LUV U, Home Made Cards
    Maxi bear - Take her to a Comedy Club because laughter is a good aphrodisiac
    Kim - Make a cd of your own songs
    Anonymous - Spike her food with sleeping pills
    Debbie - Buy two packs of post-it notes and write I LOVE YOU on every one and stick them all over your room. Cheap but effective.
    LINE 4 - Get your younger brother to buy her a card instead so its a total surprise!
    Charlie - Buy packets of rolos and individually wrap each rolo and say that you saved all the last rolos for her.
    Some Scottish Drunk rang up and said to get hammered and he was drinking since 2pm
    LINE 6 - Have your birthday party on Valentines Day
    Anonymous Caller - Cook her a meal and serve it naked and afterwards do the washing up naked with you behind her.
    Will was shown up again for his lack of music knowledge as he failed to guess what the Tedious Link track intro when it had just been played 5 minutes earlier.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Jesus Jones Real Real Real - A reel is what you use in fishing as is a rod - Rod Stewart was married to Rachel Hunter who has just dumped Robbie Williams - Robbie Williams has tattoos - Tatu are lesbians - Lesbians rhymes with thespians which is a posh word for actors - Actors sounds a bit like Achtung which is the German word for Danger - Danger Danger is one of the catchphrases of Aussie bushman Steve Irwin - Steve shares his surname with former Man Utd left back Denis Irwin - Denis Irwin now plays for Wolves - Dances With Wolves starred Kevin Costner as did Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves - Thieves are criminals - Criminals were sent to Australia - Australians are good at surfing - And if you were surfing and accidentally caught a tidal wave or tsunami you could be carried for miles in a huge wall of water and hurled hundreds of feet ashore leaving you high and dry - Which links us to Radiohead with High and Dry

    Wednesday 12th February 2003 (Sam/Sidla/Bob) [Posted Wednesday, February 12 2003 by Uglybob]

    1. Eminem-Lose Yourself, 2. Robbie Williams-Rock DJ,, 4. DJ Sammy-The Boys Of Summer, 5. The Music-The Truth Is No Words, NEWS, 6. Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River, 7. Oasis-Songbird, 8. Moloko-Familiar Feeling, 9. No Doubt- Hey Baby, 10. Royksopp-Eple, 11. TATU–All The Things She Said, 12. Blue–Fly By, 13. Ja Rule and Ashanti– Memorise, 14. The Ones-Superstar, 15. Jodi Lei–Showdown, NEWS, 16. IIO-Rapture, 17. JayZ & Beyonce-Bonnie & Clyde, 18. Idlewild-Modern Way Of Letting Go, 19. Ian Van Dahl-Try, NEWS, 20. Red Hot Chili Peppers-Cant Stop, 21. Daniel Beddingfield-Gotta Get Thru This, 22. Massive Attack-Special Cases, 23. U2-Electrical Storm, 24. Jesus Jones-Real Real Real, 25. Kelly Rowland-Stole, 26. Cam'ron-Hey Ma

    Mark and Lard are doing a web chat after their show, and Chris and the team were asking them random questions at the beginning of his show. Mark and Lard always disagreed with each other for all of the questions that Chris asked them.
    Chris has had his hair cut, but none of the team had noticed. Dave said it was very subtle, it doesn't really look any different to what it did before. The team were looking forward to the England match tonight and because Dave is one of Wayne Rooney's biggest fans, Chris asked Dave to give him a special good luck message in case he's listening. Dave said he doesn't want to put too much pressure on him, but told him to get out there and do the
    business. Let your feet do the talking and above all, do it for Everton. Chris said he should 'do it for England' not Everton and Dave claimed it was a slip of the tongue. All this week Chris is running a battle of the singles. He played clips of singles by Ainslie from Fame Academy and a rather weird cover of 'The Cheeky Song' by a band called 'The Elephant Is Gerald' and invited people to vote via text for their favourite single. The winner was 'The Elephant Is Gerald' which will now be rolled over to tomorrow. Dave and Chappers got a mention in the Bitches column in the Daily Star. They were talking about their Comic Relief trip to all England and Wales Premiership clubs in a certain amount of time.
    Dave brought back Mystic Horse for a special International Friendly Mystic Horse. The horse predicted wins for England, Wales and Republic of Ireland and a loss to Scotland. Wales are currently flying high with 8 wins in a row, if they win tonight, it will be their best sequence of victories for 127 years. Chris said he will miss Footballers Wives so asked for ITV to send him a press screening tape.
    Chris ordered Aled to go out in the pouring rain to buy him an England shirt because he is going tonight to Upton Park to watch them play against Australia. For doing this, Aled would be rewarded with a Wales shirt. Chris phoned him up at 5:20 to see how he was doing and he was on Carnaby Street and hadnt found any shirts yet. Chris said that you dont get football shirts in Top Shop to him. Aled had trouble because he didnt know what the Welsh shirt looked like. Aled returned at 5:35 with both tops. He got the England shirt for a reduced price of £25. Chris was pissed off to find out that a new top is coming out next month on St Georges Day and thats why it was cheap. Aled successfully found a Wales shirt but for the full £45.

    Public Enemy Fight The Power - Snap had a hit in 1990 with The Power - Snap Crackle and Pop - Pop Goes The Weasel - Take away the W and you get Easel which is what a painter puts his picture on - On rhymes with Don as in Don Henley - Henley regatta - Regattas are for rowing - Rowing rhymes with Sewing - Sowing the the Seeds Of Love - Love Changes Everything - Everything Changes But You - You Light Up My Life - Life is for living - Lving in a Box - Living in a Box would be like the modern equivalent of living in a manger - Jesus lived in a manger in his formative years - Which links us to Jesus Jones and Real Real Real

    Tuesday 11th February 2003 [Posted Tuesday, February 11 2003 by Uglybob]

    Kira – I’ll be your Angel. Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Can’t Stop. P Diddy and Usher – I Need a Girl. DJ Sammy – Boys of Summer. Oasis – Songbird. Appleton – Don’t Worry, NEWS, Kelly Rowland-Stole, Good Charlotte-Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous, Blazing Squad-Reminisce, Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River, NEWS, Jamieson-True, Travis-Sing, Misteeq-Scandalous, Vanessa Carlton-Thousand Miles, Public Enemy-Fight The Power, Eminem-Sing For The Moment, Christina Aguilera-Beautiful

    Lisa Faulkner, officially the sexiest woman in the world... according to me was in to promote her new show Burn It which is shown on BBC THREE tonight at 10pm. She put makeup on for Chris as last time he moaned at her for not wearing any. She thought Dave looked gorgeous but didn’t compliment Chris which annoyed him. Chris doesn’t think her show is that good which has upset Lisa as she thought he would like it.
    Mel B also stars in this show, im told that you get a full frontal view of her cleavage before even seeing her face. Her friend Nichola Stephenson was with her and she kept talking in the background.
    Chris saw her in a screening of a film where she had sexual intercourse in. What was the film? Her dad was also at it and she felt slightly embarrassed.
    Lisas lovelife is non existent but one feels it wont be long before shes with someone. Chris became Dr Love and she got turned orally (well not physically, shes not blind) and wanted him to make her answerphone message in that voice. Lisa and her 2 mates who seem to travel with her since they met on Holby City, Nicola and Angela Griffin, have set up a production company. Its called Babyvoice. The name is because all of them hate it when people talk in babytalk to each other. Its Lisas birthday on the 17th February, shes either 30 or 31. She recently split from Jonny Lee Miller after he went back to bunny boiler and his ex wife Angelina Jolie. Hes not right in the head that eejit.
    All this tabloid talk would mean lots of fake money to you if you played Celebdaq. Notice that link, fantastic, I thought of that on my own accord. Celebdaq is a game on the Internet which is like the stockmarket only your investing your money on celebrities rather than businesses. The money is purely superficial, its just for fun. Im not sure if there are cash prizes. Celebdaq's success means it was almost inevitable that a transition to TV would come and it has in the shape of Celebdaq on BBC3. Starting on February 14th for all those people with no lover (me), it is hosted by Patrick O'Connell. He joined Chris after 5 on the phone to talk about it. Chris went in last week and bought some shares in Gareth Gates, Michael Jackson, Liam Gallagher, Justin Timberlake, Dom Joly, Ms Dynamite and Davina McCall. Patrick said that the big movers were Nicole Kidman and Catherine Zeta Jones. Chris is in at £3.03, sandwiched between Mel B and Mariah Carey. There was a nice phrase called Pump Or Dump which happened when a lot of people pumped money into Patsy then dumped her so they got profits and any unsuspecting people will lose out.

    NEWSBEAT WORD - FLANEL
    Daves Tedious Link
    Reef Place Your Hands - Reef is a marine environment - A plaice is a type of fish - Fish fingers - Fish Bones - Bone Idle - Billy Idol - Idle Hands make less work - Work, what is it good for, absolutely nothing (its War, Dave) - Nothing Compares 2 U was a hit for Sinead O Connor in 1990 - Sinead O Connor shares her surname with Tom O Connor - Tom O Connor is a comedian - Comedian kind of rhymes with Chameleon - A Chameleon changes colour as do Traffic Lights - Colorblind people see traffic lights as being top, middle or bottom - The bottom is the part of the body most mormally associated with an Enema - Enema sounds like Enemy - Which links us to Public Enemy and Fight The Power

    Monday 10th February 2003 [Posted Monday, February 10 2003 by Uglybob]

    1. Red Hot Chilli Peppers–Can’t Stop, 2. Gorillaz–Clint Eastwood, 3. Melanie C–Here It Comes Again, 4. Layo & Bushwaka–Love Story, 5. 50 Cent–In Da Club, NEWS, 6. Kelly Rowland–Stole, 7. Royksopp–Eple, 8. LL Cool J–Paradise, 9. Appleton–Don’t Worry, 10. Jaimeson–True, 11. M.O.P-Cold as Ice, 12. The Datsuns-Harmonic Generator, 13. Pink-Just Like a Pill, 14. Kira–I’ll be Your Angel, NEWS. 16. Eminem-Lose Yourself, 17. Ruby Amanfrou-Sugah, 18. Puddle Of Mudd-Blurry, 19. Sugababes-Shape, NEWS, 20. Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River, 21. The Coral-Dreaming Of You, 22. Jennifer Lopez-All I Have, 23. Lasgo-Alone, 24. Reef-Place Your Hands, 25. T.A.T.U-All The Things She Said, 26. Feeder-Just The Way Im Feeling

    The team was discussing their weekend activities. Chris was in a good mood because Leeds United won at the weekend. Will went to a jazz club in Ascot at the weekend because friends of friends were playing. Dave said he knows the club well because his Dad used to play there. Aled’s Mum went to see Spurs for her birthday and Aled said she got a bit tipsy. The team all predicted the weekends football scores on Friday and Dave
    got 2 correct, so he was declared the winner.Dave has a guess who, who he saw outside a pub in before he went to the Charlton game. It was some actress from Cold Feet who I’ve never heard of. (EDIT-probably Fay Ripley cos he saw her before)
    Chris had a load of knew records. He played them and Will and Dave had to guess who they were and whether they’d get played on Radio 1 again. The first one was a ballad version of ‘The Cheeky Song’ by ‘The Cheeky Girls’, except it was ‘The Cheeky Boys’ by ‘The Elephant is Gerald’. They had the choice of that or The Cardigans to play later in the show, guess which one they picked? (incase your thick, it was The Cheeky Boys)
    The show was dominated by text voting for Best Breakthru Artist poll. There were thousands of votes. I wonder how much the BBC gets from those messages. The Streets won the poll narrowly beating Will Young. It was very boring. I wouldnt waste 12p or whatever it costs you text messaging something that doesnt matter. Miss Dynamite came last.
    Will brought the new Celine Dion record to Chris attention. Celine has went Trance. Yes I said trance. She has done a trance version of the Cyndi Lauper and Roy Orbison hit I Drove All Night. It sounds on paper a bad idea, nothing will surprise you more when I say its 100 times worse than you can imagine.
    Aled recommended Weird Nature, a show about Drunk Bees and stoned Monkeys. Aled mispronounced Penchant as Pension. Will is going to his friends house for his wifes birthday. Shes called Tracey.

    Daves Tedious Link
    A Tribe Called Quest - Quest rhymes with Guest - Jo Guest is a big glamour model - Glamma Kid had a 2000 hit with Taboo which featured a sample of Sade - If you inserted the word Don into Sade you would get a word that sounds like Chardonnay - Chardonney is Kyle Pascoes wife in Footballers Wives - Chardonnay is played by Susie Amy - Any Grant had a 1995 hit with Big Yellow Taxi - Big Yellow Taxi went into the chart yesterday again, this time a duet with Vanessa Carlton and Counting Crows - Crows Have beaks, Ducks have Bills - Bills Bills Bills was a top 10 hit for Destinys Child - Destinys Child are made up of Kelly Rowland, Beyonce Knowles and that one noone cares about - Beyonce shares her surname with Nick Knowles - Nick Knowles presents DIY SOS - SOS is an emergency signal - And if a plane went into difficulty and be required to make an emergency landing on water on the side of a mountain, the captain would instruct you to adopt the brace position and place your hands on the back of your neck to protect your teeth - Teeth rhymes with Reef - Which links us to Reef and Place Your Hands.

    Friday 7th February 2003 [Posted Friday, February 7 2003 by Uglybob]

    THE FINISHED ARTCLE - SIDLA/SAM/BOB
    1. Jay-Z & Beyonce–Bonnie & Clyde, 2. Nelly Furtardo–I’m Like A Bird, 3. Mock Turtles–Can You Dig It?, 4. Feeder–Just The Way I’m Feeling, 5. Sarah Whatmore–Automatic, NEWS, 6. Eminem–Lose Yourself, 7. Love Inc– You’re A Superstar, 8. Busta Rhymes–Make It Clap, 9. Foo Fighters–All My Life, 10. Justin Timberlake–Cry Me a River, 11. Jean Jacques Smoothie-Two People, 13. Gareth Gates and The Kumar’s–Spirit in the SkyNEWS. 17. Beenie Man-Feel It Boy, 18. Idlewild-Modern Way Of Letting Go, NEWS, 19. Jamieson-True, 20. Atomic Kitten-You Are, 21. Desert Eagle Discs-Bigger Better Deal, 22. Madonna-Die Another Day, 23. A Tribe Called Quest-Can I Kick It, 24. Sean Paul-Gimme The Light

    Aled was back on the show today after being kidnapped by Dave Pearce. Aled said they didn’t hurt him, they just ‘probed’ him. He said they taped him up and Dave poked him a few times. Ashwin and Sanjeev Kumar were supposedly to be on the show but they had both suddenly taken ill. Chris thought it was a big coincidence how they had both mysteriously taken ill at the same time and he wondered if he’d done something to upset them. Someone sent in an email and said that they were at the filming of the ‘Kumars at Number 42’ last night and both Ashwin and Sanjeev were looking fine.
    Chappers joined the show and was at Wembley today to see the Twin Towers being demolished. Chris thought it was a disgrace that England, the birthplace of football, do not currently have a national stadium. Dave said the
    last time he went to Wembley was the Worthington Cup final in 2000 when Leicester City took on
    Tranmere Rovers because Dave’s dad has a soft spot for Tranmere.
    Chappers talked his and Dave’s Comic Relief stunt. You may remember 2 years ago when Dave and Chappers went to all the Premiership clubs in England and Scotland to get a shirt from each club. This time the pair are going to visit all 92 league clubs in England and Scotland to pick up a souvenir from each one, and they have one week to do it in. Last time they did it they auctioned all the shirts off and raised nearly £15000 for Comic Relief. This year they are going to start at 5pm on Friday March 7th, and will travel to Carlisle which is the starting point. They are due to finish live on Chris’s show on Friday March 14th. Chris joked that it’s a shame they won’t be at Leeds on Saturday afternoon, because Terry Venables could do with 2 extra players for the team!
    Chris had discovered that Dave is a fan of Des & Mel. Dave said that he’s not strictly a fan, he just had it on at lunchtime while he was doing research for the show. Chris asked anybody who works for the Des & Mel show to give Dave a call and invite him into the show as a guest.

    Today’s guest was Gareth Gates:
    The Comic Relief theme this year is hairy, they have hairy noses and everything. All but one of Gareth’s songs have gone to number One. He thinks the Kumars are amazing, really funny. Gareth said he finds it quite hard reading rumours in the press, but refuses to say whether he’s dating a dancer nine years older than him as reported the other day.
    Gareth has died his hair red for Comic Relief and Chris thinks Dave should as well. Dave said he can’t as he’s going to the Charlton-Everton game tomorrow and might be mistaken for a Charlton fan and get his head kicked in. Chris however thinks that’ll be funny. Gareth doesn’t see Will, Darius and Zoe much anymore as there all busy. He’s writing a load of stuff for his new album.
    Exclusive Concert News for Huey Lewis & The News fans, if there are any, London, Glasgow, Manchester and Birmingham this year in May 2003. Chris is driving up to watch Leeds tomorrow. He will listen in to Wes on Sundays TOP 40 chart. Chris will see what hes doing afterwards as he wants to pat him on the back for it. Dave is also going to the football but to his beloved Everton. Will is going out with his brother because its his 32nd Birthday. Chris said that he must have been on an adoption programme because he looks nothing like Will. He said he does his washing on Thursday. Aled has his mum coming down because its also her birthday. Its a milestone birthday but we are not allowed to know what age. Its either 50 or 60 I take it then. She is coming down to watch Tottenham with Aleds dad. She doesnt really follow them but shes doing it for dad. Not much of a present for the mum then. Aled said his mum has got a posh box. Ooh Err Missus.
    Chris went through the football fixtures with the punchline being that he was reading his predictions from the Mark Lawrenson page on BBC Online.
    Happy Birthday to Georgina Bowman in NEWSBEAT.

    Beloved Hello - Hello rhymes with Yello who had a hit in 1988 with The Race - Yello came from Switzerland - Switzerland is also home of the Toblerone - Toblerone is the most famous triangular chocolate - Chocolate Buttons - Button Moon - Moon River - River Phoenix - Phoenix from the Flames - Flame Grilled Whopper - Whopper rhymes with Chopper which is slang for a helicopter - Helicopters have rotary wheels as do food mixer - Jive Bunny and The Master Mixers - Bunny Rabbits have big ears - As does Gary Lineker - Gary Lineker was a footballer - Footballers take penalities - And if a footballer like Gary Lineker were to politely asked to take a penalty he would probably say something like Can I Kick It and the answer surely would be Yes You - Which links us to A Tribe Called Quest and Can I Kick It (which features Pete Tongs voice)

    Thursday 6th February 2003 sam/bob [Posted Thursday, February 6 2003 by Uglybob]

    3. Moloko–Nothing Can Come Close, 4. Big Brovaz–Nu Flow. NEWS. 6. Divine Inspiration–The Way, 7. Oasis– Songbird, 8. Blazin’ Squad–Reminisce, 9. Puddle of Mudd–Blurry, 10. Eminem- Sing for the Moment, 11. Kelly Rowland –Stole, 12. Basement Jaxx–Where’s Your Head At, 13. Danni Minogue–I Begin to Wonder, 14. Beenie Man–Street Life, 15. Royksopp–Eple, NEWS, 16. Jamieson-True, 17. Avril Lavigne-Complicated, 18. The Streets-Dont Mug Yourself, 19. Red Hot Chili Peppers-By The Way, 20. Lemon Jelly-Nice Weather For Ducks, NEWS, 21. TATU-All The Things She Said, 22. Aaliyah-More Than A Woman, 23. Datsuns-Harmonic Generator, 24. DJ Sammy-Heaven, 25. JayZ & Beyonce-Bonnie and Clyde, 27. Beloved-Hello, 28. Punjabi MC-Mudian, 29. Christina Aguilera-Beautiful

    DO YOU WANT TO REVIEW THE FIRST HOUR OF THURSDAYS - CONTACT CHRIS@CHRISMOYLES.NET
    Chris can’t believe we are in February already. He stayed in and watched TV last night, he watched The Bill for the first time in ages and was amazed about how many ex-Eastenders actors there are in it. He said that they used to go straight to panto when they left Eastenders, but now it seems they go straight to The Bill. It was Scottie’s birthday today, and he didn’t receive any cards. Chris decided to make him one right in front of his eyes to cheer him up.
    The Team have been sent an information pack for a fundraising event for Comic Relief. They want the team to pluck a few hairs from their heads so they can auction it off for charity. Chris chickened out so he said he’ll pluck some hair from Aled’s head instead. This made Aled very nervous, however Chris couldn’t grip it to get it out so he decided to cut a load off instead, but this scared Aled even more. I really hope someone recorded this because Aled’s squeals of “Chris, Chris stop it! Dave is he taking a lot? Chris!” have to be heard to be fully appreciated!
    Chris tried to show how easy it was to vote for Will Young on 08700 100 100. The problem was that it was always engaged with other people trying to get through. They were also getting people getting through to the studio by mistake. Chris finally voted and said his name was Lord Byron Stevenson.
    Chris wanted to know what Angry Kid was as he was hearing people talk about it. It is a new animation from the Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run crowd, Aardman Animations. It will be shown on BBC3.
    Aled had been kidnapped by LibertyX Independent Members Party also known as L.I.M.P. If Chris didnt say that LibertyX are great and better than Will Young then Aled wont be on the show. Chris called it a limp gag. He wasnt bothered. Will said that Dave Pearce was bigging up LibertyX last night so he assumed that Dave Pearce had got him. He thought they should kidnap Kate from Daves show, because shes good looking, plus it means she wont have to work till 8pm.
    Chris had bad indigestion. Will suggested he get Rhys to get some Rennies. Dave said he got rid of the bit of Twix from his tooth when the hot tea melted it. Dave had to be nice boyfriend tonight and have to watch Big Thursday on E4 with his girlfriend so he can have a weekend with the boys for football.
    TV Choices were done by Aled and it included Eastenders, DIY SOS (which Chris hates and possibly everyone else in the world) and Rogue Traders which Chris loves although hates the cheapest camera in the world used in the show. I havent seen the show but the way Chris described it, it sounded like a complete copy of the Jonathan Maitland show House Of Horrors on ITV.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Ugly Kid Joe Everything About U - If you take the letter from each first word from Everything About U and reverse it you get UAE - UAE is the abbreviation for United Arab Emirates - The UAE is in the Gulf - Gulf sounds like Golf - Tiger Woods plays Golf - Tiger Woods is the second famous Tiger below of course Tony The Tiger from Frosties - Frosty The Snowman - The Snowman was written by Raymond Briggs - If you take away the B from Briggs you get Riggs - Riggs was the surname of Mel Gibsons character in Lethal Weapon films - Patsy Kensit played a South African in Lethal Weapon - South Africa was colonised by Dutch settlers - The Dutch word for speed bump is dremples - Dremples rhymes with Temples - Temple Of Doom - Boom Shake The Room - Room With A View - Sea View - Sea Shell - Sea Shore - Shore rhymes with Bonjour - Bonjour is the French word for Hello - Which links us to The Beloved and Hello

    NEWSBEAT WORD - Trapeze Artist

    Wednesday 5th February 2003 [Posted Wednesday, February 5 2003 by Uglybob]

    sidla/sam/bob
    1. Kelly Rowland-Stole, 2. Shakedown-At Night, 3. The Datsuns-Harmonic Generator, 4. Christina Aguilera-Beautiful, 5. Kira-I'll Be Your Angel, NEWS, 6. Jaimeson feat. Angel Blu-True, 7. Sugarbabes-Shape, 8. Cam'ron-Hey Ma, 9. Pink -Get The Party Started, 10. Acarine - Blinder, 11. Craig David-Hidden Agenda, 12. TATU-All the Things She Said, 13. Rui da Silva–Touch Me, MISSED, NEWS, 15. Daniel Beddingfield–Gotta Get Through This, 16. Jay-Z and Beyonce –Bonnie and Clyde, 17. Good Charlotte–Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous, MISSED, 18. Busta Rhymes-Make It Clap, NEWS, 19. Eminem-Lose Yourself, 20. Jakatta-American Dream, 21. Miss Dynamite-It Takes More, 22. David Gray-Dead In The Water, 23. Ugly Kid Joe-Everything About You, 24. Love Inc-Your A Superstar, 25. Appleton - Don't Worry

    Dave and Will went out with the 'Tea Bag Men' last night, a.k.a Dean and Stewart from Big Brother 2. The two have patented their idea of the 'Tea Bag Bin'. The Tea Bag Bin has a website http://www.teabagbin.com (I think the site must have crashed when Chris mentioned it because I couldn't get it to load). According to the website the 'Tea Bag Bin' has recieved support from Steve Wright, Chris Moyles and other famous sources. (EDIT - I thought it was called Has-Bins)
    The builders at Chris' flat have been getting cocky recently, so Chris decided to get his own back. One of them had to have a couple of days off work because he had been out on the booze and tried to juggle with bottles. Unfortunately he dropped one of the bottles on his foot! Chris wanted to play the Acarine song he's been championing. Will got an email yesterday to say the release has been delayed because it had to be edited for MTV. It will now come out two weeks on Monday.
    The team’s personal trainer Scott was live in the studio. They got him in because they’ve been very lazy and Chris has put weight on. This year is the final push for Big Blubber, where the team have all got to reach their personal goals. Chris has a new motto – “The futures bright, the futures six-pack”. Personally, I’ll believe it when I see it.
    Chris trailed off at the end of last year but has turned over a new leaf in 2003, he is most definitely the runner of the group. He said he wants to lose 4 stone, get bigger muscles, reduce his body fat and gain a larger penis by March. Scott says he can help with all but the last one. Realistically, by June he wants to lose 1 ½ stone.
    Dave is too lazy, he said for most people exercise wakes them up but it just makes him want to go for a kip. He wants to lose weight, reduce body fat, play more football and tone up so he can secure a half million OK deal for his wedding by July. Chris decides that Dave has to do a half marathon aswell, though Dave wasn’t too impressed by that idea.
    ‘Big’ Will is the king of skipping and has the best attendance, but has a phobia of running. All he wants is huge muscles, he doesn’t care about the fitness side. He also wants to improve his bleep test to level ten. Chris reckons this is a cop-out though and he’s not working as hard as everything else. Aled is to good at making up at excuses and needs to knuckle down but he’s good at running. Aled’s goal is to run the Norway half marathon in July.
    Chris decided that because Aled is going to run the half-marathon, and he thinks Dave should aswell, they will all go to Norway and do it, take the radio show and have a few days there. The only person who might have a problem is Will. Scott said that he could do it but the training would hurt him. Chris: “Ok, now you’ve said Will and hurt in the same sentence I’m determined to make him do it, I like that idea!”
    Chris missed Wifeswap last night. That might be because it wasn't on Chris. In Heat there was an update on the people from the show including Daves favourite Barry. His line was Relaxation is my occupation. They have split up unsurprisingly. Dave did a Corrie update for Chris as he has been subjected to watching it by his missus. Dave nominated Aled to talk about the Life Of Mammals and he was very vague as he hasn't watched it. Dominic on text message kept annoying Chris about saying hello to people for him and asking to play Girls Aloud. Jesus as if we havent heard it a thousand times before.
    Chris went through the Brits trail. Jo Whiley was in the Brits Advert and she nominated Miss Dynamite as Best Brit Breakthru Artist, never one to miss out on a bandwagon our Jo. Ring 08700 100 100 OPTION 4 or www.bbc.co.uk/radio1 in order to vote from these 5. Wes Butters on the new Chart Show has a special Brits announcement. The announcement is probably Britney Spears appearing on the show.

    1. Will Young
    2. Ms Dynamite
    3. The Streets
    4. Liberty X
    5. The Coral

    Daves Tedious Link
    Setting Sun Chemical Bros - Setting also refers to Jelly going hard - Jelly wobbles - Wobbles rhymes with Gobbles which is the universal sound for a turkey - The capital of Turkey is Ankara - Ankara sounds like anchor which is a device used for parking a ship - Ship of Fools - Fools Gold - Gold Blend - Its all in the Blend is a phrase most associated with Jools Holland - Jools Holland advertises Bells - The Bells The Bells was shrieked by Quasimodo in the Hunchback of Notre Dam - Quasimodo was famous for being ugly - When you think of ugly and more importantly early 90's rock air guitar classics you think of Ugly Kid Joe - Which links us to Ugly Kid Joe and Everything About You

    Tuesday 4th February 2003 [Posted Tuesday, February 4 2003 by Uglybob]

    Sidla/Sam/Bob
    1. TATU-All The Things She Said, 2. N'Sync-Girlfriend, 3. Idlewild-A Modern Way Of Letting Go, 4. Layo & Bushwacka -Love Story, 5. Big Brovaz-O.K. NEWS, 6. Jay-Z & Beyonce-Bonnie & Clyde, 7. Love Inc-You're a Superstar, 8. Jody Lei-Showdown, 9. DJ Sammy-Heaven, 10. Turin Brakes-Pain Killer 11. Eminem–Lose Yourself, 12. PureTone-Addicted to Bass, 13. Kelly Osbourne–Shut Up, 14. Coldplay–The Scientist, NEWS, 15. Justin Timberlake-Cry Me a River, MISSED, 17. Coral-Dreaming Of You, 18. Oakenfold-Starry Eyed Surprise, 19. Sarah Whatmore-Automatic, NEWS, 20. Divine Inspiration-The Way, 21. Stereophonics-Have A Nice Day, 22. Blazin Squad-Reminisce, 23. Foo Fighters-All My Life, 24. Kelly Rowland-Stole, 25. Chemical Bros-Setting Sun, 26. Chris Aguilera-Pitiful(Stay Terry Venables), 27. LL Cool J-Paradise, 28. Kira-Ill Be Your Angel

    The team were discussing the documentary on Michael Jackson last night, but were prevented from going into details by the bosses. Chris joked that ITV had also been following him around for 8 months and it will be shown later in the year. Chris had got exclusive clips from the forthcoming show. They played a clip of last nights show where Michael went into a shop in Las Vegas and bought nearly everything in sight. Chris wondered why Martin didn't ask Michael to buy him something!
    Chris started talking about the shopping clip again and he said that Michael shopped like a bloke. He didn't mess around like women do, he just saw something he liked and bought it! Chris had recorded a number of 'comedy' sketches from the forthcoming 'Living with Chris Moyles'. The sketch featured Chris saying Yep, I'll have one of them, one of them, another one of those, oh and another pint of lager and a packet of pork scratchings. After the news Chris commented that he's fed up of Uri Geller defending Michael Jackson. Chris said Uri can hardly say anyone's not weird when Uri bends spoons for a living!
    Chris asked what the deal was with Nelly and the plaster on his face. Dave said he heard Matt Barbette say that Nelly's got a pact with his brother who's in jail. Nelly's wearing the plaster until his brother gets out. Chris asked what his brother was in jail for; stealing plasters maybe?
    'Living with Chris Moyles' part 2: This time Dave was the interviewer and he asked Chris why he was so fat. Was it because he drank excessive amounts of lager. Chris replied No, it's just called adolescence.
    Chris mucked up the Kelly Osbourne record by playing the Bert Bonzai bloke saying ‘shut up’ at the wrong time, and insisting on going back and correcting it. Guess Who by Dave – Dina Carroll. He saw her today while the team were training in the park, so that ends the rumours that Chris has given up training. She was famous in the mid nineties as a singer.
    Following on from the Jody/Jodi talk earlier, the top boys name last year was Matthew, and the top girls Emily. The second most popular boys was Tyler. Chris said you wouldn’t call your child Roofer or Plumber so why Tyler?
    There was nothing of any note really after 4:30. Chris kept talking about the Leeds Gillingham match on tonight and he cant find a TV station that is showing it. He had to make do with 5 Live instead. In the news there was a trail about the first mobile police station. It will be on wheels like a library van. The first place it will be in is Liverpool. Chris was ever so tempted to do the stereotype joke but he didnt. Ill do it then. Mobile Police Station on Wheels in Liverpool, wont be on wheels in about 4 hours time. Chris played his parody again of the Christina Aguilera song about the trouble at Elland Road and in particular Terry Venables.
    NEWSBEAT WORD - UMBRELLA

    Daves Tedious Link
    Love Spreads - Love Spread is one way of describing chocolate body paint but it wasnt good for keeping clean sheets - Keeping clean sheets is something you wouldnt associate with West Ham keeper David James - David shares his surname with Clive James - Clive James brought to the world Margarita Pracatan - Pracatan rhymes with Chaka Khan - Chaka Khan shares her forename with Chaka Demus - Chaka Demus running partner was Pliers - Pliers rhymes with Tyres - Tyres need to be inflated as do armbands - Armbands are made to be used in preventing children from drowning in swimming pools - Swimming pools are cleaned using chlorine and other chemicals - Which links us to Chemical Bros and Setting Sun

    Monday 3rd February 2003 [Posted Monday, February 3 2003 by Uglybob]

    sidla/sam/bob
    1. Eminem-Lose Yourself, 2. Supermen Lovers-Starlight, 3. Melanie C-Here It Comes Again, 4. Coldplay-The Scientist
    5. Röyksopp-Eple, NEWS, 6. Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River, 7. Jurgen Vries feat CMC-The Opera Song, 8. Will Young-Evergreen, 9. Red Hot Chilli Peppers-By The Way, 10. Appleton-Don't Worry, 11. Divine Inspiration-The Way, 12. Good Charlotte–Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous (LiveLounge), 13. Cameron–Hey Ma, 14. Kira–I’ll be Your Angel. NEWS. 15. Crazy Town–Butterfly, 16. Kelly Rowland-Stole, 17. Gareth Gates and The Kumars-Comic Relief Single, 18. No Doubt-Hey Baby, 19. Idlewild-Modern Way Of Letting Go, NEWS, 20. Jamieson-True, 21. Sum 41-Fat Lip, 22. DJ Sammi-Boys Of Summer, 23. TATU-All The Things She Said, 24. Stone Roses-Love Spreads, 25. Beenie Man-StreetLife, 26. Electric 6-Danger High Voltage

    Chris was watching American Idol on ITV 2 at the weekend and he said his opinion of Simon Cowell has changed. He said Simon looked as though he was thinking 'What the hell am I doing here?' Will told Chris that Mel C would be on the show soon, but Chris heard Jo Whiley say that Mel will be on her show. Will got a telling off, but his excuse was that it wasn't confirmed. Chris had a drink with Dan Hipgrave at the weekend and they started talking about Coldplay. Chris told Dan he'd never met Chris Martin, but it turned out Chris Martin was once holding Dan's dog when
    Moyles was talking to him but Moyles just blanked him. Moyles was disappointed that he didn't realise at the time that it was Chris Martin, because it would have made a great guess who - Chris Martin holding Dan Hipgrave's dog.
    Will Young was on the phone because Chris's show is backing him to win the best breakthrough artist at the Brits. Will had been on holiday in Mexico. Chris asked him if he'd been photographed by the paparazzi, he said he hadn't but he saw the pictures of Chris in the papers. Chris said he's backing Will because he's the only one who's been on the show. Will recorded some 'subliminal' messages telling people to vote for him. One said simply 'vote Will Young' the second was 'Hi, I'm Will Young, I'm really lovely so please vote for me to make me a happy person!'. For the third
    message Chris told Will to get nasty, at first Will said 'This is Will Young here, vote for me or granny gets it', but Chris said that didn't really work, so Will said Listen, I'm Will Young and you'd better vote for me or I'm going to get really cross, alright?. Chris said he doesn't really have the knack. Needless to say, most of the following records had the subliminal messages all over them.
    Chris sang a song for Mr Terry Venables and all the Leeds fans. A parody of Christina Aguilara’s ‘Beautiful’. It will probably be in the sound vault shortly but some of the lyrics were as follows:

    “Terry Venables,
    No matter what they say,
    the board can’t bring you down,
    so please don’t walk away today,
    stay and fight another day”.

    It was delightful if you missed it, even the screeching. Ahem.
    On the show on Friday the team will have ‘a couple of Kumars’. They think one of them will be ‘daddy’ Kumar, but they don’t know which ones. Chris announced that they had the exclusive first play of the Comic relief single by Gareth Gates featuring the Kumars later in the show. During the next record they get a load of text messages (including one read out from message board member and reviewer above me Sidla…..well, maybe, but close enough!) telling them the name of the Kumars and that they’d already heard the record on local radio earlier. After checking with Aled they discovered it’s a radio one exclusive, and as usual Will got the blame. Will: “Ah, but, no other show has Gareth Gates and some of the Kumars coming on to promote it.” Chris: “We bloody don’t know which ones!”

    Dave was still feeling the after effects of the Gareth Gates and the Kumars Comic Relief record. I managed to miss this but Dave said that Less is More so I take it from that its crap. Dave was still smiling at 4:45 at the record.
    Aled has his second ever Guess Who. Hes wrong of course as I seem to recall he saw Sarah Jessica Parker as well as the Queen. It was Steve-O from the show Jackass. It took them a considerable time because he isnt that famous and he doesnt really have a skill.
    Chris cant wait to see the Michael Jackson documentary. He knows he will be disappointed. He made special trails for the show to make it sound more realistic. He wanted to know about the plastic surgery and the veil malarkey but knows they wont go anywhere near those subjects. He said that they should have got his mother instead of Martin Bashir to do the interview because she can get everything out of you.

    Daves Tedious Link
    Underworld Born Slippy - Slippy rhymes with Nippy which is a slang term for cold weather - Weather with You was a 1992 hit for Crowded House - Crowded House come from New Zealand - New Zealand is comprised of two islands - Islands in the Stream was a song by Dolly Parton - Dolly Parton is famous for having big hits - Hits rhymes with Tits as in the small blue bird - Bluebells went to number 1 in 1993 with Young At Heart - Heart of Rock N Roll was a hit for Huey Lewis and the News - Huey Lewis is from San Francisco which is on the west coast - Coast rhymes with Toast and when Dave eats toast, he likes to spread jam, marmalade or peanut butter to make it more exciting - I suppose in that respect he loves spreads - Which links us to Stone Roses and Love Spreads